When my soul is gone 

Sometimes despair drags me down 

Through this haze of memories 

Through years of turmoil 

My body sinks 

Until it is anchored down 

Then the rooms fills with water 

As I lay chained to the ground 

Once again I gulp for air 

Until I can no longer breathe 

This is when the emptiness comes 

This is when my soul is gone 

Nyx

I have lost all hope 

I have moments of peace 

They do not last long 

Then I feel the pain 

As I try to sing along 

Sometimes words may help me

Sometimes they do not 

All I know for sure 

Is peace is all I have ever sought 

No matter how much I have cried 

No matter how much I have fought 

I have yet to find it 

Maybe someday I will 

Maybe someday the earth will stay still 

Just maybe I will find the one 

To make me feel safe from it all

To protect me from harm 

Maybe he will grab my hand 

Before I hit the ground 

At this moment I have no hope 

All I do today is

Find the strength to go on 

Find the strength to cope 

This loneliness will stay 

It must be my eternal debt to pay 

I guess I just have to except it 

This is just the way it is 

I have lost all hope 

That someday I will truly be his 

Nyx

No more tears today 

At this moment I trust no one 

At this moment my hope in others is gone 

I feel no joy in the company that I keep 

My heart has been ripped open

By all of the promises that have been broken

I shed no more tears today 

I have said all there is to say 

I have lost something I once had 

I no longer have the ability to retain an emotion 

I don’t even know what sadness feels like anymore 

All I know is agony 

Then I feel the apathy

Then I feel the rage 

This is all I have left 

Nyx 

Help

I feel my body weighed down 

It is so hard to walk 

It is so hard to breathe 

This weight it crushes me 

Weighs me down from the outside in 

At this moment I feel nothing 

I am just pushed down by it all 

Gulping for air 

With no cry for help 

No way to swim 

No way to shout 

This is when I give in 

Darkness follows continued…

Darkness will follow me wherever I go 

In the end everyone goes away 

Darkness tells me so

Darkness is not my enemy 

He is my reality

I try to push him aside 

But he always finds a way

He inflicts the pain 

He sees my weakness 

He sees my shame 

He knows the apathy is a mask 

He knows what lies beneath 

He is set on his task 

He will follow me into eternal rest 

Because he is the best 

Because he is part of me 

He knows who I really am 

A damaged twisted thing 

With nowhere to stand 

Nyx

Free Fall #2 

Sometimes I wonder if I am being tested 

To see just how much I can take 

Sometimes I just do not understand 

Why I never seem to land 

It is just a constant free fall

Never ending emptiness

My feet never find the ground 

All I feel is everything pushing me down 

What I would not give for some sand 

What I would not give for someone to take my hand 

Take away the burden 

Grab me from the sky 

Place me down and give me a place to lie 

Maybe someday I will find a way 

To grab a hand to hold 

To really trust in someone else completely 

That day is not today 
Nyx 

Deflect

I used to dream of death

Those dreams where the best I ever had

An escape from the pain

An escape from this life

An escape from the gap in my mind

A gap that is thick and sharp like a knife

Then there was apathy

The numbness from the inside out

I drifted from here to there

There were no feelings and no doubt

Now all I do is deflect

Deflect the obstacles that continue to come

When I think I am finished with one

I realize I will never be done

I guess this is just the way life is meant to be

A constant battle

A constant fight to be free

Nyx

Hello Darkness my dear 

Hello darkness my old friend

It’s nice to see you again 

I know you’re creeping 

As I’m sleeping 

I know you’ll be there in the end 

Oh dear friend how are you 

It hasn’t been too long 

Are you hear to catch my tears 

Are you hear to sing me a song 

Well darkness at least I know you 

You are definitely real 

In the end when you take me 

Can you take away my ability to feel 

My Shame

The glass shatters around me

As everything falls apart

You took away my faith in you

When you broke my heart

I listen to the venom spew from you

As I try to keep myself sane

I try to keep myself together

To make myself aware

That I am to blame

Because I could not be alone

Because I could not do it on my own

That is my weakness

That is my shame

Nyx

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