apathy

Restless

/ Nyx / 3 Comments

I cannot sleep tonight

I lay here in the dark

Restless in this skin

I try to be present

But I never really am

Nyx

Darkness please come

/ Nyx / 12 Comments

I long for the darkness to take me there

Away from this life

I can no longer care

About what exists outside these walls

All I want right now is to never wake up

Darkness please come

Darkness please take me away

I give up

You have won today

Nyx

Alien

/ Nyx / 5 Comments

I feel empty

Alone and guarded

Tired of the pain

The others always bring

I often feel

That I am an alien in this world

That I will never really belong here

My smile

My words

I fool you all

I have never been human

I am something else

And I am still here

Every day I wake

Indifferent to each breath I take

Maybe someday the emptiness will fill

Until then here I am

An alien that walks on land

Nyx

Nothing Left to Say

/ Nyx / 7 Comments

There are so many words that I have said

There are so many words that I have written

None of it really matters

When I am talking into the wind

When a face becomes a shadow

Where a person used to be

The words they are so hollow

No one ever really hears me

I am not a person

I am a just a thing

All I can do is hope

That my heart will beat someday

In the meantime, I sit here

I have nothing left to say

Nyx

Solace in the dark

/ Nyx / 9 Comments

Sitting in the dark

Crying again

Letting go of another person

Another strip of my heart is gone

The pain is so great

That I have to shut down

If I didn’t I would break completely

There is no coming back from this

There is no way to change it

I’m still here breathing

Enduring it all

I feel comfort in this time

I have found solitude

I have found solace in the darkness

It is where I belong

There is no human for me

There never will be

Nyx

Fate

/ Nyx / 5 Comments

Will I be alone forever

I fear I must accept my fate

The loneliness it grips me hard

The pain it rips me apart

Once again I wish I was gone

Maybe there is a place I belong

Right now as I cry in the dark

I care about nothing because I cannot

I cannot care because my whole life I have sought

The one thing I will never have

It is just not meant to be

I was meant to live this life alone

All I will ever have is me

Nyx

There is no cure

/ Nyx / 10 Comments

Today I wish I wasn’t me

Like I have so many days before

What I suffer from

There is no cure

As I lay here in the dark

I find comfort in my dreams

There is no pain there

I do not remember

Happiness lasting very long

No matter what I have done

No matter where I have gone

Nothing can replace what was taken from me

I cannot regrow my soul

I long for death

But darkness is not finished with me yet

I know now that I cannot be different

I was not made to feel joy or love

All I can do is hope that there is peace

From some shining light above

In the mean time

I am here

Laying in the dark

Feeling empty and broken

Because everyone is gone

Every part of me was stolen

I feel so alone

It is so hard to go on

I wish for death every single day

There is nothing that anyone can do

There is nothing that anyone can say

That will ever make me want to get up

That will make me believe anything today

Nyx

My last dance

/ Nyx / 11 Comments

Another day is passing

The sun begins to set

Here we go again

I lay out the cards

I place my bet

Darkness says to me

It’s a 50/50 chance

This will be your last dance

Nyx

Cold and still

/ Nyx / 3 Comments

I am lost

Dead inside

I am no one

I am nothing

I do not see the sun

I do not see the sky

I know longer feel the pain

Nothing is the same

My feet no longer move

I lay here cold and still

I have lost my will

Nyx

Pandora’s box

/ Nyx / 5 Comments

I sit here numb

To everything around me

I feel the world cave in

As I look down at the water

I feel the apathy

As I make my choice

A choice I have made before

With every closing door

I take one last moment

To let myself feel the pain

It cuts so deep

I will never be the same

I look at the sky

Before I jump

Into the cold water below

This is where I belong

So this is where I go

When all is lost

I will take myself there

To Pandora’s box

Hoping for the darkness

Hoping for some peace

Hoping that this time

I do not come back

I just want the darkness

I just want to see the sky

I just want to see the sea

Then I want to die

Nyx