I used to dream of death

Those dreams where the best I ever had

An escape from the pain

An escape from this life

An escape from the gap in my mind

A gap that is thick and sharp like a knife

Then there was apathy

The numbness from the inside out

I drifted from here to there

There were no feelings and no doubt

Now all I do is deflect

Deflect the obstacles that continue to come

When I think I am finished with one

I realize I will never be done

I guess this is just the way life is meant to be

A constant battle

A constant fight to be free


Hello Darkness my dear 

Hello darkness my old friend

It’s nice to see you again 

I know you’re creeping 

As I’m sleeping 

I know you’ll be there in the end 

Oh dear friend how are you 

It hasn’t been too long 

Are you hear to catch my tears 

Are you hear to sing me a song 

Well darkness at least I know you 

You are definitely real 

In the end when you take me 

Can you take away my ability to feel 

My Shame

The glass shatters around me

As everything falls apart

You took away my faith in you

When you broke my heart

I listen to the venom spew from you

As I try to keep myself sane

I try to keep myself together

To make myself aware

That I am to blame

Because I could not be alone

Because I could not do it on my own

That is my weakness

That is my shame


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Inside out

I feel like a blank slate

Not filled with anger

Not filled with hate

Just numb from the inside out

I try to run

But I can’t escape my fate

What have I done

It is already too late


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Slipping Away

At this moment I care about nothing

I fall into the darkness willingly

Waiting for the arms of my darkness to embrace me

I feel myself slip away from this world and fall into his

In the end he is always there

Waiting for me to see, that there is no one else

Just him and me


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Sometime I just want to escape the world

Disappear into nothing

But mania brings me forward, makes me stand

My mania spins me round and round

People around me are sick of the sound

My words are too fast

I speak too much

I’m crazy to some

Intriguing to others

I pull people toward me like a drug

Regardless what they think I am, or what they say

Mania…Sadness, my mind is lost

Indifference…apathy…this is my truth

Except it and come toward it…or run away

I honestly don’t care what you do…either come toward me or stay away

Want to 

I want to stay numb today

I want to be free of myself

I want to be free of you

I want to be able to keep this feeling of apathy

I want  to be able to break free from the core

I want to find peace

I want to find my forever home

The power of magnetism

This man has the power of magnetism

Everyone wants to be the center of his focus

When he is near they all feel his strong pull

Women all want to be that special piece of metal

They want to be the piece that sticks

The piece that sticks and doesn’t let go

They are intrigued by his apathy and indifference

Intrigued by the pull they get when he’s near

They want to be the one to win his affections

But his apathy and indifference makes it hard to stick

His huge brick wall is covered and thick

He gives them a few moments of his focus

That’s what draws them to the pull

Then he turns his pull away