My perception sees wrong intention
Is my perception real
Is this sinking feeling justified
Take take take
That’s what I see
She takes takes takes
Until there is only a shell of me
I used to want to give
But sometimes giving is not enough
I realize today
That sometimes the only answer
Is to walk away
Nyx
Today I felt myself fall backward
Into the sadness and the pain
The longing to escape was so great
Even greater than my own self hate
Slowly I took myself away from the darkness
Because I had to
Instead of thinking of the sadness
Instead of thinking of the things I have lost
I thought of the things I do have
I thought of the things I have fought for
Sometimes it feels like I go back to the beginning
The beginning of a journey through hell
I just have to remind myself that I have already been there
I have already come this far
I have to say to myself this darkness
It is not who you are
Nyx
All this time I thought I was walking alone
I was wrong
There has always been a presence beside me
This presence that is trying to guide me
Guide me towards my purpose
Guide me towards peace
There is a purpose for this pain
I am reassured by this
In everything that I do
Sometimes I have to listen
Sometimes I have to see
Sometimes I have to feel
Sometimes it is just a thought
I always find the answer
I always find a way
Because my guide is beside me
Every single day
Nyx
Image source geckzilla on Flickr
Protect Your Peace
Nyx
Darkness has reminded me of the agony
That sadness brings
I will feel euphoria
Until it all comes crashing down
This is when I feel him near me
This is when he brings the pain
He is my reminder of who I used to be
He is my reminder of the torment I have felt
He is my reminder that everyone walked away
But today I fight him because I must
I have to remind myself
That I have always gotten back up
Every time I fell
I have to remind myself
That there is a way out of hell
Nyx
More than I ever have
I have to find the strength
I have to believe
That I can be better
That I can live my life some day
Without the pain I felt before
With every decision I make
With everything that I have left to give
I rise today for you
For those who are as lost as me
I rise again because I must
I have to open the door
So everyone can see
That everyone deserves a chance
To live their lives with happiness
Nyx
Another day is passing
The sun begins to set
Here we go again
I lay out the cards
I place my bet
Darkness says to me
It’s a 50/50 chance
This will be your last dance
Nyx
Deep within my soul
I know there are pieces left
Parts that will one day make me whole
Someday you will see
That there is so much more to me
Then the girl who walked away
There is so much more to me
Than just one story to be told
One day when I walk the earth
There will be others behind me
I will show them the way
I will show them where there is land
A place for all of us
It exists inside my heart
It is the home of the forgotten
The ones who were once lost
The ones that thought they were dammed
All they needed was compassion
I give to all of you my hand
With all my love,
Nyx
She walked the world alone
Fighting through the images
Flashing through her mind
Always with a smile
Always so kind
Underneath it all
She feels herself rotting from within
She is not from this world
She was born in sin
Yet she exists
And she will keep fighting
She will win
Nyx
I sit here and slip away
My body shuts down
I am lost
But I want to be found
I am reaching out for help today
It is like I am looking back
Yet here I am in the present
This haze of a person with no core self
Please someone help me
Please hold my hand
Please give me the strength
Please give me the foundation
To find the ground
To stop falling
To stand
Nyx
Disclaimer
I appreciate all of my friends here. Thank you for all your kind words, all your support. It means more to me than you could ever know. 💕
