Walk away

My perception sees wrong intention

Is my perception real

Is this sinking feeling justified

Take take take

That’s what I see

She takes takes takes

Until there is only a shell of me

I used to want to give

But sometimes giving is not enough

I realize today

That sometimes the only answer

Is to walk away

Nyx

I will not be consumed by darkness

Today I felt myself fall backward

Into the sadness and the pain

The longing to escape was so great

Even greater than my own self hate

Slowly I took myself away from the darkness

Because I had to

Instead of thinking of the sadness

Instead of thinking of the things I have lost

I thought of the things I do have

I thought of the things I have fought for

Sometimes it feels like I go back to the beginning

The beginning of a journey through hell

I just have to remind myself that I have already been there

I have already come this far

I have to say to myself this darkness

It is not who you are

Nyx

I do not walk alone

All this time I thought I was walking alone

I was wrong

There has always been a presence beside me

This presence that is trying to guide me

Guide me towards my purpose

Guide me towards peace

There is a purpose for this pain

I am reassured by this

In everything that I do

Sometimes I have to listen

Sometimes I have to see

Sometimes I have to feel

Sometimes it is just a thought

I always find the answer

I always find a way

Because my guide is beside me

Every single day

Nyx

Image source geckzilla on Flickr

There is a way out of hell

Darkness has reminded me of the agony

That sadness brings

I will feel euphoria

Until it all comes crashing down

This is when I feel him near me

This is when he brings the pain

He is my reminder of who I used to be

He is my reminder of the torment I have felt

He is my reminder that everyone walked away

But today I fight him because I must

I have to remind myself

That I have always gotten back up

Every time I fell

I have to remind myself

That there is a way out of hell

Nyx

Finding strength

More than I ever have

I have to find the strength

I have to believe

That I can be better

That I can live my life some day

Without the pain I felt before

With every decision I make

With everything that I have left to give

I rise today for you

For those who are as lost as me

I rise again because I must

I have to open the door

So everyone can see

That everyone deserves a chance

To live their lives with happiness

Nyx

My last dance

Another day is passing

The sun begins to set

Here we go again

I lay out the cards

I place my bet

Darkness says to me

It’s a 50/50 chance

This will be your last dance

Nyx

A place for us

Deep within my soul

I know there are pieces left

Parts that will one day make me whole

Someday you will see

That there is so much more to me

Then the girl who walked away

There is so much more to me

Than just one story to be told

One day when I walk the earth

There will be others behind me

I will show them the way

I will show them where there is land

A place for all of us

It exists inside my heart

It is the home of the forgotten

The ones who were once lost

The ones that thought they were dammed

All they needed was compassion

I give to all of you my hand

With all my love,

Nyx

Born in sin

She walked the world alone

Fighting through the images

Flashing through her mind

Always with a smile

Always so kind

Underneath it all

She feels herself rotting from within

She is not from this world

She was born in sin

Yet she exists

And she will keep fighting

She will win

Nyx

Falling

I sit here and slip away

My body shuts down

I am lost

But I want to be found

I am reaching out for help today

It is like I am looking back

Yet here I am in the present

This haze of a person with no core self

Please someone help me

Please hold my hand

Please give me the strength

Please give me the foundation

To find the ground

To stop falling

To stand

Nyx

Disclaimer

I appreciate all of my friends here. Thank you for all your kind words, all your support. It means more to me than you could ever know. 💕