Break through

Once again I am given clarity 

When I break through the pain 

I am grateful for these moments 

These moments I can see

Just how strong I really am 

When I look at what is in front of me

I prepare myself once more 

There is a tally I have taken 

I know the score 

I may have been torn down 

I may have felt broken 

I no longer feel fear 

I no longer hold my head down 

I always win you see 

Every battle that awaits 

No matter what it takes 

I will win 

Nyx

Where I breathe 

Peace fills me 

As I feel the breeze in the air 

Listening to the sound of nature 

I feel like I am home 

This is where my heart is

Outside behind the trees 

This is where I can rest 

This is where I breathe 

No negative words

No negative emotions 

This is all I think 

This is all I see 

This beautiful place that surrounds me 

Nyx

Holding on

I keep my head held high 

Hardening my heart as the day ticks by

Questioning my emotions 

Letting my mind drift 

Listening as the ocean

Pulls in the waves 

Feeling the peace 

That this sound brings 

Holding on to who I am 

As I feel my feet dig into the sand 

Nyx 

Insight 

At this moment 

I do not want to be me 

Insight is a gift and a curse 

It shows me things 

Things I wish I could not see 

Nyx 

When hope leaves you 

I sit here and reflect upon my life 

I question my emotions 

I question my decisions 

I question where I am 

How did I get here 

Where do I go 

Back to the familiar pain 

Or forward to something 

That may be the same 

I feel the panic as it rises 

Unsure which way to place my foot 

Where do you go 

When you have been here before 

What do you do 

When hope leaves you 

Nyx

Beyond my ability

I have always strived to understand 

The actions of those I have known 

The selfishness they have shown 

When they left me there

I have fought to overcome 

What they have done 

The selfishness I see 

Is beyond my ability 

What I do know is that it has hardened me 

It has made me who I am 

For that I am grateful 

Even though I may never understand 

Nyx

No more tears today 

At this moment I trust no one 

At this moment my hope in others is gone 

I feel no joy in the company that I keep 

My heart has been ripped open

By all of the promises that have been broken

I shed no more tears today 

I have said all there is to say 

I have lost something I once had 

I no longer have the ability to retain an emotion 

I don’t even know what sadness feels like anymore 

All I know is agony 

Then I feel the apathy

Then I feel the rage 

This is all I have left 

Nyx 

My purpose 

I have been brought into moments of complete despair 

But this is how I find my strength 

This is how I find hope 

I have embarked on a journey 

Each stride a lesson to be learned 

Each breath drawn is another that I live

Each day I am given a gift 

Something that is taught to me 

Something that I can give 

My purpose is to educate 

Those who are unaware 

Of everyone in need of love 

Of everyone in need of care

Someday I will fulfill this purpose 

This I know is true 

Because I am still standing here 

Writing these lines to you 

Nyx 

I see the light 

Through the ups and downs I see

A bright light before me

A light that beckons me to follow

It is there no matter how far I have fallen

It is there no matter where I go

I know it will still exist

This light is there

Even as I fall

Into the depths of hell

Under the tides of the sea

Under the covers at night

With my eyes closed tight

I can still see the light

Nyx

When doors open 

Sometimes when you feel like you are about to split in half

Someone comes along and points you towards a new path

Sometimes doors do open

When they were shut before

Sometimes you can find someone

That you completely adore

When you feel like everything is caving in

Sometimes a hand breaks through

Holds on and pulls you out into the light

If this happens do not let go

True kindness and empathy is the best gift given

If we all gave more of this

This world would be a better place

Every word of empathy and kindness

Strengthens us as a whole

Because deep down we are the same

We are all connected

Regardless of mind and body

Everyone has a soul

Nyx