For the ashes of what once was 

As I walk through the trees 

I feel the breeze 

It is all I have to calm me 

In this moment as I grieve 

For the wishes and dreams I did not receive 

For the ashes of what once was 

For the memories that you gave me 

For the days that I have wept 

For something that was never real

There is no one that can save me 

From the fall that has begun 

There is no one that can reverse 

All the damage you have done 

As the anger subsides 

I find my resolve 

You are just another puzzle 

I was meant to solve 

Nyx

Finding balance and strength 

I hear the sound of the world outside 

As I try to find balance in my life 

I have always struggled to get by 

I have never stopped asking myself why 

I have made the decisions I have so far 

Then I reflect and tell myself 

This is who you are 

With every step forward 

And every step back 

I try to fill the pieces 

That have chipped away 

I push myself again today

To find the balance and the strength 

That I need to succeed 

Nyx

Finding myself again

When all is lost I look inward 

Finding myself again 

Nothing has gone as planned 

Yet I still stand 

With my head high 

As the world looks smaller below 

I look to the sky 

Nyx

Ripped apart

Live and learn they say 

Why do we have to learn

By being ripped apart

Where does the pain end 

When does this learning start 

I do not believe these words are true 

Each piece that is pulled from me 

Is another piece gone 

I was always this strong 

What I have learned is how not to fear 

But this was after being beat down 

Year after year 

Losing everything 

Again and again 

Falling further and faster 

With no where to land 

Being pushed down

Until I could not stand 

Having my head pushed under 

Until I was swallowing water 

This has made me fearless 

A monster you see 

Do you think I would be someone else

If this did not happen to me 

No I would still be me 

Nyx

Break through

Once again I am given clarity 

When I break through the pain 

I am grateful for these moments 

These moments I can see

Just how strong I really am 

When I look at what is in front of me

I prepare myself once more 

There is a tally I have taken 

I know the score 

I may have been torn down 

I may have felt broken 

I no longer feel fear 

I no longer hold my head down 

I always win you see 

Every battle that awaits 

No matter what it takes 

I will win 

Nyx

Where I breathe 

Peace fills me 

As I feel the breeze in the air 

Listening to the sound of nature 

I feel like I am home 

This is where my heart is

Outside behind the trees 

This is where I can rest 

This is where I breathe 

No negative words

No negative emotions 

This is all I think 

This is all I see 

This beautiful place that surrounds me 

Nyx

Holding on

I keep my head held high 

Hardening my heart as the day ticks by

Questioning my emotions 

Letting my mind drift 

Listening as the ocean

Pulls in the waves 

Feeling the peace 

That this sound brings 

Holding on to who I am 

As I feel my feet dig into the sand 

Nyx 

Insight 

At this moment 

I do not want to be me 

Insight is a gift and a curse 

It shows me things 

Things I wish I could not see 

Nyx 

When hope leaves you 

I sit here and reflect upon my life 

I question my emotions 

I question my decisions 

I question where I am 

How did I get here 

Where do I go 

Back to the familiar pain 

Or forward to something 

That may be the same 

I feel the panic as it rises 

Unsure which way to place my foot 

Where do you go 

When you have been here before 

What do you do 

When hope leaves you 

Nyx

Beyond my ability

I have always strived to understand 

The actions of those I have known 

The selfishness they have shown 

When they left me there

I have fought to overcome 

What they have done 

The selfishness I see 

Is beyond my ability 

What I do know is that it has hardened me 

It has made me who I am 

For that I am grateful 

Even though I may never understand 

Nyx