clarity

Why I exist

/ Words from a borderline / 4 Comments

Today I felt it all

I shared my tale

Of heartbreak and pain

But I also told them

What it is I fight for

Why I am still here

I have a purpose in this life

That is why I have to live it

Even though I have fallen

Many times before

Even though I will fall again

This i am sure

I will always get back up

Because they need me here

They need someone who can stand up

And take away their fear

They need someone who understands

They need someone to listen

I will be what I need to be for them

That is why I exist

That is who I am

Nyx

Born in sin

/ Words from a borderline / 2 Comments

She walked the world alone

Fighting through the images

Flashing through her mind

Always with a smile

Always so kind

Underneath it all

She feels herself rotting from within

She is not from this world

She was born in sin

Yet she exists

And she will keep fighting

She will win

Nyx

Drifting

/ Words from a borderline / 11 Comments

I sit here and slip away

My body shuts down

I am lost

But I want to be found

I am reaching out for help today

It is like I am looking back

Yet here I am in the present

This haze of a person with no core self

Please someone help me

Please hold my hand

Please give me the strength

Please give me the foundation

To find the ground

To stop falling

To stand

Nyx

Disclaimer

I appreciate all of my friends here. Thank you for all your kind words, all your support. It means more to me than you could ever know. 💕

Move on

/ Words from a borderline / 3 Comments

I feel the tall grass between my fingers

As I walk along the path

My heartache lingers

As I realize I can never turn back

I see the stream as it flows forward

Centering myself today

I have to live in the moment

I have to keep myself calm

It is the only way

That I can move on

Nyx

Another scar

/ Words from a borderline / 9 Comments

With you gone

I feel so lost

I had no idea

That such a short time

Could have such a cost

I fight through the pain

Trying to find myself again

Hoping I can make it through today

I know that harsh words create fractures

I had no idea how fast we would shatter

How quickly you would turn from me

As if I never mattered

Even though the pain is raw

At least I saw who you really are

Now I just carry another scar

Nyx

The changing season

/ Words from a borderline / 6 Comments

As the leaves fall around me

I see the beauty in the changing season

Sometimes there is no need to reason

Everything that people do

I try to remember that when I feel pain

I have to look inside myself again

Find the inner beauty of who I am

As I find the ground

I need to walk on again

Nyx

For the ashes of what once was 

/ Words from a borderline / 10 Comments

As I walk through the trees 

I feel the breeze 

It is all I have to calm me 

In this moment as I grieve 

For the wishes and dreams I did not receive 

For the ashes of what once was 

For the memories that you gave me 

For the days that I have wept 

For something that was never real

There is no one that can save me 

From the fall that has begun 

There is no one that can reverse 

All the damage you have done 

As the anger subsides 

I find my resolve 

You are just another puzzle 

I was meant to solve 

Nyx

Finding balance and strength 

/ Words from a borderline / 8 Comments

I hear the sound of the world outside 

As I try to find balance in my life 

I have always struggled to get by 

I have never stopped asking myself why 

I have made the decisions I have so far 

Then I reflect and tell myself 

This is who you are 

With every step forward 

And every step back 

I try to fill the pieces 

That have chipped away 

I push myself again today

To find the balance and the strength 

That I need to succeed 

Nyx

Finding myself again

/ Words from a borderline / 15 Comments

When all is lost I look inward 

Finding myself again 

Nothing has gone as planned 

Yet I still stand 

With my head high 

As the world looks smaller below 

I look to the sky 

Nyx

Ripped apart

/ Words from a borderline / 6 Comments

Live and learn they say 

Why do we have to learn

By being ripped apart

Where does the pain end 

When does this learning start 

I do not believe these words are true 

Each piece that is pulled from me 

Is another piece gone 

I was always this strong 

What I have learned is how not to fear 

But this was after being beat down 

Year after year 

Losing everything 

Again and again 

Falling further and faster 

With no where to land 

Being pushed down

Until I could not stand 

Having my head pushed under 

Until I was swallowing water 

This has made me fearless 

A monster you see 

Do you think I would be someone else

If this did not happen to me 

No I would still be me 

Nyx