Illusions

There is no path

Laid clear before me

I want my heart to race

I want to feel pride

I no longer want to worry

I no longer want to feel

What I want is reason

And everything that is real

I have seen so many illusions

Along the path I have chosen

I will not delude myself

I will not have faith again

I know that all I will ever need

Is me in the end

Nyx

Ripped apart

Live and learn they say 

Why do we have to learn

By being ripped apart

Where does the pain end 

When does this learning start 

I do not believe these words are true 

Each piece that is pulled from me 

Is another piece gone 

I was always this strong 

What I have learned is how not to fear 

But this was after being beat down 

Year after year 

Losing everything 

Again and again 

Falling further and faster 

With no where to land 

Being pushed down

Until I could not stand 

Having my head pushed under 

Until I was swallowing water 

This has made me fearless 

A monster you see 

Do you think I would be someone else

If this did not happen to me 

No I would still be me 

Nyx

No one left 

There are some things 

I will never understand 

A love I will never see 

This was never meant for me 

The type of love bonded through blood

This is forever lost 

I fill the void in other ways 

Sometimes it has a cost 

I can fill my mind with wishes 

Dreams and hopes of love 

I can hope that I am guided 

By love shining down from up above 

But at the end of the day the truth is 

There is no one left but me 

Maybe my hardened heart 

Will someday set me free 

Maybe this is the only way 

That I was meant to be 

Nyx

Those who stay beside you

No one knows 

How the story goes 

In the end 

Your life is your own 

If you keep on fighting 

You will see 

That happiness is there 

In all the people that care 

In those who stay beside you

When the world falls away 

Those who stand with you 

When you need them most 

This is where happiness is 

Nyx 

New eyes 

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.   Marcel Proust 

Believe in you

There are moments when I lose hope in everyone

Then I realize that I do not need them

The only thing I need

Is to believe in me

Nyx

My purpose 

I have been brought into moments of complete despair 

But this is how I find my strength 

This is how I find hope 

I have embarked on a journey 

Each stride a lesson to be learned 

Each breath drawn is another that I live

Each day I am given a gift 

Something that is taught to me 

Something that I can give 

My purpose is to educate 

Those who are unaware 

Of everyone in need of love 

Of everyone in need of care

Someday I will fulfill this purpose 

This I know is true 

Because I am still standing here 

Writing these lines to you 

Nyx 

I see the light 

Through the ups and downs I see

A bright light before me

A light that beckons me to follow

It is there no matter how far I have fallen

It is there no matter where I go

I know it will still exist

This light is there

Even as I fall

Into the depths of hell

Under the tides of the sea

Under the covers at night

With my eyes closed tight

I can still see the light

Nyx

When doors open 

Sometimes when you feel like you are about to split in half

Someone comes along and points you towards a new path

Sometimes doors do open

When they were shut before

Sometimes you can find someone

That you completely adore

When you feel like everything is caving in

Sometimes a hand breaks through

Holds on and pulls you out into the light

If this happens do not let go

True kindness and empathy is the best gift given

If we all gave more of this

This world would be a better place

Every word of empathy and kindness

Strengthens us as a whole

Because deep down we are the same

We are all connected

Regardless of mind and body

Everyone has a soul

Nyx

Float away 

I feel my skin burn within 

I feel my heart shatter 

I cannot help but ask myself 

Why does anything matter 

I try to make it through each day 

I try to hold my head high

I show a smile upon my face 

A smile that isn’t real 

All I want is peace from this life 

I no longer want to feel 

I wish that I was ignorant to everything 

I wish that I was ignorant to everyone 

I wish that I was dumb 

What I wish for the most is 

The ability to stay numb 

To be lost to this world forever 

To float away in the sky 

To say, so long and farewell 

Just to say goodbye 
Nyx