The hole within my soul

I still can’t fill the pit

The hole within my soul

It grows larger every minute

With nothing left to throw inside

I just feel discontent

Hollow and unhappy in my own skin

Nyx

Walk away

My perception sees wrong intention

Is my perception real

Is this sinking feeling justified

Take take take

That’s what I see

She takes takes takes

Until there is only a shell of me

I used to want to give

But sometimes giving is not enough

I realize today

That sometimes the only answer

Is to walk away

Nyx

Let the games begin

Some days are so hard

When my mind is against me

Making things harder than they need to be

So I fight to stop these thoughts

It seems I never really win

I rise again today

Let the games begin

Nyx

“We should always be asking ourselves: “ Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?” Epictetus

My Quote for Today

I know nothing with any certainty

Except that the world is always changing

And everything eventually ends

Nyx

False hope

I can have this hope

That someday I will write to you

And for longer than a few moments

A few precious hours I will not suffer

That hope dies a little more

Every single day

Today is another day

That a piece of me has been stripped away

Left to burn in the flames

Again all I feel right now is pain

Nyx

 

Promises

You promised me the words

That I wanted to hear

Then you told me the truth

All the lies that you spoke

That I started to fall for

Pushed me right out that door

Nyx

Born in sin

She walked the world alone

Fighting through the images

Flashing through her mind

Always with a smile

Always so kind

Underneath it all

She feels herself rotting from within

She is not from this world

She was born in sin

Yet she exists

And she will keep fighting

She will win

Nyx

Illusions

There is no path

Laid clear before me

I want my heart to race

I want to feel pride

I no longer want to worry

I no longer want to feel

What I want is reason

And everything that is real

I have seen so many illusions

Along the path I have chosen

I will not delude myself

I will not have faith again

I know that all I will ever need

Is me in the end

Nyx

Ripped apart

Live and learn they say 

Why do we have to learn

By being ripped apart

Where does the pain end 

When does this learning start 

I do not believe these words are true 

Each piece that is pulled from me 

Is another piece gone 

I was always this strong 

What I have learned is how not to fear 

But this was after being beat down 

Year after year 

Losing everything 

Again and again 

Falling further and faster 

With no where to land 

Being pushed down

Until I could not stand 

Having my head pushed under 

Until I was swallowing water 

This has made me fearless 

A monster you see 

Do you think I would be someone else

If this did not happen to me 

No I would still be me 

Nyx