Cold and still

I am lost

Dead inside

I am no one

I am nothing

I do not see the sun

I do not see the sky

I know longer feel the pain

Nothing is the same

My feet no longer move

I lay here cold and still

I have lost my will

Nyx

Dark thoughts

When I sit still

Some times the pain is just too much

I do not know what to do

I no longer have words to say

The pain hits me

Every single day

I do not want to think

I do not want to cry

All I want to do

Is say goodbye

Nyx

Into the abyss

I feel my body as it starts to shut down

In this moment I have no hope

I find no ground

I fall into the darkness

Into the abyss of my mind

I no longer care

I have no sense of time

I no longer hope

I no longer fear

All I do is sit here

Falling further down

Until I find the water

And let myself drown

 

To my readers and the people who care about my posts,

When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret anything literally. I only say this, because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or where or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem, they are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day.  Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing. I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems, I appreciate the hell out of you.   Peace and Love, Nyx 

Depression

Today I feel so hollow

The depression it hits me hard

There is no thought

There is no action

That makes me feel this way

It is just a feeling that I live with

Every single day

Sometimes I forget

Until I sit still

Then I realize that this depression

It is real

There is no rhyme or reason

For the way I feel

I sit here alone in silence

Hoping this feeling will end

This is when I try to escape

This is when I pretend

Nyx

Disclaimer: When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret anything literally. I only say this, because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or where or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem, they are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day.  Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing, I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems, I appreciate the hell out of you. 

Fate

I watch the others

From a distance

Feeling the loneliness grow

Sometimes I smile

Sometimes I let it show

Right now I feel the pain

Deep inside my chest

It eats away

Everything that is left

It eats away the hope I once had

The image that I had is gone

The image of happiness

That I had with someone

I realize that at the end of the day

All I have is me

Maybe this is my fate

Maybe this is my destiny

Nyx

The bridge

I see the bridge

So beautiful

So bright

It lights up the sky

On the darkest night

At my darkest hour

This is where I fall

Into Pandora’s box

There is no night

There is no day

This is where I rest

This is where I stay

Disclaimer

This is not a reflection of me, but a reflection of many who have suffered enough to take their own lives. Peace and love, Nyx

Fleeting dreams 

I used to think you loved me 

Then you said good bye 

I sit here asking myself why 

Why can’t love be unconditional

Why can’t you try 

We are all flawed in someway 

At least I never lie 

One thing I will never understand 

Is why you thought you ever loved me 

Because true love is unconditional 

It does not fade with words

It does not fade with time 

I was never yours 

You were never mine 

I hope that you do find 

True love someday 

At least I know now 

What it is we never had 

Someday you will find the one 

That you will forever love and adore 

In the mean time 

My fleeting dream is gone 

Nyx

Together we descend 

I watch as the skies fade into gray 

I am so tired of fighting alone 

This is just the way it has to be 

Alone I wonder into the abyss 

Darkness follows behind 

Playing his role in kind 

This I am ok with 

Because I know 

Darkness is part of my mind 

There is no joy without despair 

There is no light without darkness

There is no beginning without an end 

So I take darkness, I grab his hand 

Together we descend 

Nyx 

With the rising sun

Sometimes I see flashes 

Memories from before 

I see where I have been 

I see what I have done 

I do not want to see 

These things that haunt me 

All I want is peace 

I want to breathe again 

Hopefully I will find it soon

Before I lose the light from the moon 

I just need to find the way 

Before the moon is gone 

Before the morning comes 

With the rising sun 

Nyx