There is no cure

Today I wish I wasn’t me

Like I have so many days before

What I suffer from

There is no cure

As I lay here in the dark

I find comfort in my dreams

There is no pain there

I do not remember

Happiness lasting very long

No matter what I have done

No matter where I have gone

Nothing can replace what was taken from me

I cannot regrow my soul

I long for death

But darkness is not finished with me yet

I know now that I cannot be different

I was not made to feel joy or love

All I can do is hope that there is peace

From some shining light above

In the mean time

I am here

Laying in the dark

Feeling empty and broken

Because everyone is gone

Every part of me was stolen

I feel so alone

It is so hard to go on

I wish for death every single day

There is nothing that anyone can do

There is nothing that anyone can say

That will ever make me want to get up

That will make me believe anything today

Nyx

Why I exist

Today I felt it all

I shared my tale

Of heartbreak and pain

But I also told them

What it is I fight for

Why I am still here

I have a purpose in this life

That is why I have to live it

Even though I have fallen

Many times before

Even though I will fall again

This i am sure

I will always get back up

Because they need me here

They need someone who can stand up

And take away their fear

They need someone who understands

They need someone to listen

I will be what I need to be for them

That is why I exist

That is who I am

Nyx

My world of darkness

I live in my own world of darkness

I do not see the light

I feel so alone

I feel so sad

I am still grieving over something

I never had

The sadness turns to pain

So similar than before

Except this time I feel less strength

It is hard to remember what I fight for

It hurts today

As I lay here in the dark

Wondering why I cannot be ok

With being alone again today

Nyx

Grim Reaper

Once again there is a fork in the road

Do I follow the path of comfort

Or do I stray down the darker path

The one that brings me back

The one that starts the cycle

Of pain and the longing for death

So many faces of people who once were

I barely remember them now

They just became a part of the darkness

That beckons me back

It is the same darkness

He will always be there

The grim reaper of my soul

Reminding me I lost it long ago

Nyx

As I walk through the storm

He made me cry

Before I said goodbye 

There is no perfect mix 

No one who can see 

Who I really am 

Who I strive to be 

I exist and yet I do not 

All my life I have fought 

To find the balance that I need 

In order to push myself 

I need to believe 

That someday I will find 

The one thing that I need 

Someone beside me 

As I walk through the storm

Arms to embrace me 

When I need it the most

I will find you 

This I know is true 

I will not stop

Until I do 

Nyx

Cold and still

I am lost

Dead inside

I am no one

I am nothing

I do not see the sun

I do not see the sky

I know longer feel the pain

Nothing is the same

My feet no longer move

I lay here cold and still

I have lost my will

Nyx

Dark thoughts

When I sit still

Some times the pain is just too much

I do not know what to do

I no longer have words to say

The pain hits me

Every single day

I do not want to think

I do not want to cry

All I want to do

Is say goodbye

Nyx

Into the abyss

I feel my body as it starts to shut down

In this moment I have no hope

I find no ground

I fall into the darkness

Into the abyss of my mind

I no longer care

I have no sense of time

I no longer hope

I no longer fear

All I do is sit here

Falling further down

Until I find the water

And let myself drown

 

To my readers and the people who care about my posts,

When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret anything literally. I only say this, because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or where or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem, they are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day.  Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing. I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems, I appreciate the hell out of you.   Peace and Love, Nyx 

Depression

Today I feel so hollow

The depression it hits me hard

There is no thought

There is no action

That makes me feel this way

It is just a feeling that I live with

Every single day

Sometimes I forget

Until I sit still

Then I realize that this depression

It is real

There is no rhyme or reason

For the way I feel

I sit here alone in silence

Hoping this feeling will end

This is when I try to escape

This is when I pretend

Nyx

Disclaimer: When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret anything literally. I only say this because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem. They are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day.  Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing. I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems. I appreciate the hell out of you. 

Fate

I watch the others

From a distance

Feeling the loneliness grow

Sometimes I smile

Sometimes I let it show

Right now I feel the pain

Deep inside my chest

It eats away

Everything that is left

It eats away the hope I once had

The image that I had is gone

The image of happiness

That I had with someone

I realize that at the end of the day

All I have is me

Maybe this is my fate

Maybe this is my destiny

Nyx