Misery

Sometimes misery drags me down so quickly 

The ground gives way and I sink so deep 

I don’t want to wake up, I just want to sleep 

One action…one move…can spin me down so fast and so far 

I lose myself and I forget who I am 

I become someone else when you bring me to this place 

Just leave me alone and give me my space 

Nyx

 

© Nyx0519

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Lost 

I feel lost today

And I hope that no one can see

The sadness behind my eyes as the ground beneath my feet is swept away

My heart breaks moving from one place to the next

I am so tired of smiling…and pretending to be ok

I just want to be alone

My foundation is gone

As I move on to another temporary place

I just hope my sadness is hidden behind the smile plastered on my face

Nyx

 

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Wanderer

I have to leave my home again 

There is no changing who I am 

A wanderer… a traveler till the end 

Nyx

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Another place and time

Today my heart feels heavy…with sadness and pain 

Sometimes I wish I could float away… 

Live a life in another place…in another time 

Be with people who love me…be with a family that is mine

A family that loves me through the good and bad days…a family who will stand beside me till the end 

I am like smoke…I flow by…but no one can see

The sorrow and shame that was my life…the sorrow buried inside of me

 

 

Darkness # 4

Need to stay in motion 

Need to pass the time 

If I don’t he will catch me 

He will creep into my mind

He brings back the pain…takes me back in time 

So I continue to move too fast 

My mind spins so quickly… I forget what I have done 

Darkness sees me flustered and thinks that he has won 

My heart races…but I stay in motion anyway 

This is a small price to pay…if it keeps him away 

I will never stop fighting you my darkness 

Someday you will see…that you will keep thinking you won…but you will never beat me 

Nyx

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Pretend

I pretend to smile 

I pretend to be ok 

I hold back on things I should say 

I pretend not to see that you screwed me 

I pretend not to feel the pain 

I don’t want to see my reality 

The selfishness of the people around me

These people who pretend to care 

Where are they when you need them to be there 

Don’t they know it freaking hurts to be let down 

I’m tired of pretending…I’m tired of being in pain 

I just want to escape my life…escape these people I have to pretend for 

I just can’t do it anymore 

They break off a little more of what’s left of me

If they saw what was left on the inside…past the mask…would they really see 

I don’t think they can…so I will no longer pretend

Get out of my life…get out of my heart…this is the end 

Sometimes #2

So here I sit alone

I try to calm my brain

My thoughts again so jumbled

I know that I’m not sane

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me

Sometimes I want to run away

Sometimes I wish I could see myself as the same person every day

Sometimes I wish I could see myself the way others do

Just to see what I look like to them

I wonder if there smiles are genuine…or are they just pretend

I want to love myself…but that is so hard to do

When all I see are my imperfections and all of the mistakes I make

I need to stop picking myself apart

I’m not sure how much more I can take

The beauty of the rain

I wake up and I fight today

As the rain falls from the sky

I wonder why sometimes sadness grips me

As I wait for you and I…

To find that special place…to find that common ground

In the meantime I listen as the rain falls

I listen to the sound

So peaceful it makes me feel today

The beauty of the rain

It slows my beating heart

It slowly heals the pain

So freaking much pain 

So much pain

So alone

So much pain…it’s breaking me apart

It’s all I feel

Sometimes I wish I could just forget

Lose my mind and become a blank slate

I just want to walk away

I want to jump…I want to fall

Please just let me forget…please just let me escape

If there’s a god please just take it away from me

I just can’t take it anymore