I still can’t fill the pit
The hole within my soul
It grows larger every minute
With nothing left to throw inside
I just feel discontent
Hollow and unhappy in my own skin
Nyx
depression
Exist as I am
It is hard to ignore this loneliness
I feel this need for connection
A connection to someone else
In the meantime I lay here
Listening as the clock keeps ticking
Aware of time that is passing by
Knowing that being here alone is not enough
But accepting it anyway
This is what is best
I will keep trying to be better
I will exist as I am
Nyx
There is no escaping who you are
What do you do when you want to escape your own skin
What do you do when you are tired of the emptiness
What do you do when your tired of that uneasy feeling
There is no escaping who you are
Nyx
This face
What have I become
Who was I before
I do not recognize
This face I see reflected at me
Maybe I am already
Everything I was meant to be
Nyx
Pushed perceptions
Today is another
Day like yesterday
I try to find something
Anything that will make me want to get up
I wish I could just be happy
Instead I just feel lost
I try to think of things in a positive way
I try to think it’s great that I woke up today
But for all the positive quotes I read
All the pushed perceptions that should make this better
I still sit here empty
I still sit here in sorrow
Longing for a life I never had
Nyx
Walk away
My perception sees wrong intention
Is my perception real
Is this sinking feeling justified
Take take take
That’s what I see
She takes takes takes
Until there is only a shell of me
I used to want to give
But sometimes giving is not enough
I realize today
That sometimes the only answer
Is to walk away
Nyx
Will I find myself again
I wake up feeling this tension
It wraps around my heart
I wake up with good intention
But I feel this anxiety
It is there as soon as I wake
Can I get through this day
Without feeling my heart break
Can I get through this day
Feeling better at the end
Will I find myself again
Nyx
Never ending nothing
I am lost again today
I am just a hole
A black mass
Of never ending nothing
Never ending nothing
Nyx
I will not be consumed by darkness
Today I felt myself fall backward
Into the sadness and the pain
The longing to escape was so great
Even greater than my own self hate
Slowly I took myself away from the darkness
Because I had to
Instead of thinking of the sadness
Instead of thinking of the things I have lost
I thought of the things I do have
I thought of the things I have fought for
Sometimes it feels like I go back to the beginning
The beginning of a journey through hell
I just have to remind myself that I have already been there
I have already come this far
I have to say to myself this darkness
It is not who you are
Nyx
Mantra for today
Protect Your Peace
Nyx
