Once again I long for death
Devastated and broken
By what I have spoken
To someone who cared about me
Sometimes I wonder if the pain will rip me apart
Sometimes I wonder if the pain will stop my heart
What would I be
If I was not me
Darkness and pain
Fire and anger that spreads
Underneath my chest
Is that all that I am
This thing that should not have been
This thing that suffers in the dark
Please someone help me
Please just take me away
Dear God please just kill me today
Nyx
I’ve been avoiding the sunlight
I’ve been avoiding my life
I am so tired of many things
Most of all I am tired of myself
Tired of the shame
Tired of the pain
Tired of existing as I am
What is the point of life
If I am unable to live it
Why give me so much love
And then make it so hard to give it
I have to find some hope
Because I have lost it again
The pain is so extreme
The pain is too much
There has to be a reason
There has to be a way
To pull myself away from this darkness
Once again today
Nyx
I kind of want to die again
It’s been a little while
It’s very hard to be alive right now
Its very hard to exist as myself in this current state that I am in
Should I do something
Should I help others in some way
Or have I already said
All there is to say
Nyx
Some days I just want to sleep
It’s like I can no longer feel
There is no good
There is no bad
There is just this monotonous reality
Nyx
Feeling content is a gift
A break from sadness and pain
I am grateful for this feeling
I appreciate the lack of pain
I accept this gift
Nyx
Sometimes I find these moments
Moments of peace
Peace I thought I would never find
Peace has finally found me
Nyx
I still can’t fill the pit
The hole within my soul
It grows larger every minute
With nothing left to throw inside
I just feel discontent
Hollow and unhappy in my own skin
Nyx
It is hard to ignore this loneliness
I feel this need for connection
A connection to someone else
In the meantime I lay here
Listening as the clock keeps ticking
Aware of time that is passing by
Knowing that being here alone is not enough
But accepting it anyway
This is what is best
I will keep trying to be better
I will exist as I am
Nyx
What do you do when you want to escape your own skin
What do you do when you are tired of the emptiness
What do you do when your tired of that uneasy feeling
There is no escaping who you are
Nyx
Words From The Borderline 
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