I kind of want to die again
It’s been a little while
It’s very hard to be alive right now
Its very hard to exist as myself in this current state that I am in
Should I do something
Should I help others in some way
Or have I already said
All there is to say
Nyx
Some days I just want to sleep
It’s like I can no longer feel
There is no good
There is no bad
There is just this reality that I cannot enjoy
Nyx
Feeling content is a gift
A break from sadness and pain
I am grateful for this feeling
I appreciate the lack of pain
I accept this gift
Nyx
Sometimes I find these moments
Moments of peace
Peace I thought I would never find
Peace has finally found me
Nyx
I still can’t fill the pit
The hole within my soul
It grows larger every minute
With nothing left to throw inside
I just feel discontent
Hollow and unhappy in my own skin
Nyx
It is hard to ignore this loneliness
I feel this need for connection
A connection to someone else
In the meantime I lay here
Listening as the clock keeps ticking
Aware of time that is passing by
Knowing that being here alone is not enough
But accepting it anyway
This is what is best
I will keep trying to be better
I will exist as I am
Nyx
What do you do when you want to escape your own skin
What do you do when you are tired of the emptiness
What do you do when your tired of that uneasy feeling
There is no escaping who you are
Nyx
What have I become
Who was I before
I do not recognize
This face I see reflected at me
Maybe I am already
Everything I was meant to be
Nyx
Today is another
Day like yesterday
I try to find something
Anything that will make me want to get up
I wish I could just be happy
Instead I just feel lost
I try to think of things in a positive way
I try to think it’s great that I woke up today
But for all the positive quotes I read
All the pushed perceptions that should make this better
I still sit here empty
I still sit here in sorrow
Longing for a life I never had
Nyx
Words From A Borderline 
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