In the darkness
I hide from you
The pain slips out
A little with each cut
Never enough to stop
Nyx
writing
Just another day
Once again I was fooled
I thought I would see the sun
I thought I would see the flowers bloom
I was wrong
The time will never come
There is no time for us
The clouds grow dark
The sky turns grey
Today is just another
Day like yesterday
I feel so alone
As I sit here in the dark
My heart breaks
I feel the pain again
This is what happens
This cycle that never ends
The cause does not matter
It always feels the same
There is nothing left of me
There is nothing left to gain
Anything that was human has died
A thousand times before
I exist and stand
Only for what I fight for
Nyx
The void
There is a hole
Where my heart used to be
It was ripped out
It was taken from me
The hole grows a little more each day
This feeling of despair
It takes me away
I exist as darkness
There is nothing left
Just this void in my chest
Nyx
My Quote for Today
I know nothing with any certainty
Except that the world is always changing
And everything eventually ends
Nyx
Nothing Left to Say
There are so many words that I have said
There are so many words that I have written
None of it really matters
When I am talking into the wind
When a face becomes a shadow
Where a person used to be
The words they are so hollow
No one ever really hears me
I am not a person
I am a just a thing
All I can do is hope
That my heart will beat someday
In the meantime, I sit here
I have nothing left to say
Nyx
Solace in the dark
Sitting in the dark
Crying again
Letting go of another person
Another strip of my heart is gone
The pain is so great
That I have to shut down
If I didn’t I would break completely
There is no coming back from this
There is no way to change it
I’m still here breathing
Enduring it all
I feel comfort in this time
I have found solitude
I have found solace in the darkness
It is where I belong
There is no human for me
There never will be
Nyx
False hope
I can have this hope
That someday I will write to you
And for longer than a few moments
A few precious hours I will not suffer
That hope dies a little more
Every single day
Today is another day
That a piece of me has been stripped away
Left to burn in the flames
Again all I feel right now is pain
Nyx
Dialogue with my friend darkness
“Hello Darkness my old friend
It’s nice to see you again”
“My sweet girl why are you so restless?
Can’t find that peace you still seek?
Can’t find an ear to listen to the screams?
Well here I am my dear
I will listen as you scream in pain
Then I will take you with me
I will lay my claim
In the end it will be the same
This is how it must be
Some day soon you will see
It has always been me
I am your true friend
I will show you how your life will end
Take my hand my dear”
I take his hand
“I know darkness
You are always right
Once again you are my only friend tonight”
Together we descend
That familiar feeling
I feel that familiar ache
It grips my chest again
The sadness lingers
Never far from the surface
Sadness brings this feeling
No words can truly describe it
All my life I have fought
This feeling that I must endure
I have learned I must embrace it
There is no cure
Maybe someday this will change
Maybe it will end
I just have to face this feeling
Until then
This is how it must be
I see darkness creeping toward me
I am still here my friend
But please go away
I do not have the strength
To walk with you again today
Nyx
Covered in paint and powder
She suffers in ways
That no one can see
The agony gets swept aside
By the powder she spreads across her face
Covering the darkness
Covering the scars
There is no part left to be seen
She covers it all
Underneath the paint
Underneath the skin
The darkness hides the flame
The fire that keeps her alive
The anger makes her move
When all hope is lost
Everyday a piece is taken
Living her life at this high cost
Broken and bleeding
Mended here and there
How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere
Her pleas are unheard
Her tears are unseen
She will exist as she is
A plastered doll covered in paint and powder
Living in shame
I hear her as she screams louder
While she burns from within
Nyx
