I love you and I hate you
This I know is true
You left me slowly dying
Like so many have done before
I screamed your name
As you walked through the door
There is nothing left
Of the person I was before
You are one of many
Yet you have left your own scar
The chunk you ripped was the last
Of a girl that has passed
Her death was grieved by no one
The shell that remains of me
Looks at the setting sun
I find resolve in who I have become
But I will never forget what you have done
Nyx
The pain
It comes and goes
Hits me in waves
Sometimes it lasts for hours
Sometimes it lasts for days
Until I shut it down
It is often soothed
By the sound of someone else
Or the sound of music
Playing in my head
Sometimes when the pain is gone
All I feel is dread
Loneliness is what I fear
Night after night
Year after year
I do not want to be alone
I want to find my home
Nyx
I am lost
Dead inside
I am no one
I am nothing
I do not see the sun
I do not see the sky
I know longer feel the pain
Nothing is the same
My feet no longer move
I lay here cold and still
I have lost my will
Nyx
All that was left of her
Were ashes in the breeze
She fell to her knees
But no one heard her cries
No one heard her pleas
She slowly burned away
The pain was too great
She could no longer stay
She told herself to let go
To let the fire blaze inside
Then she felt her heart slow
Amongst the fire
Inside the flame
She let herself die
Nyx
I am always reminded
Of the uncertainty in this life
Of the things that I have lost
Of the cruelty
Of the ones who look away
And the ones who do not stay
I am left a wanderer
Lost in this world
Yet driven to be more than what I am
Pushing myself every day to stand
Sometimes the pain grips me so hard
I feel myself slowly
Being torn apart
I try never to forget
What it is I fight for
I try not to forget
What it felt like
When I walked out the door
I no longer know who I am
I no longer know who I was before
I sit here broken
Longing for something I will never get
The pain it lingers
But it has not defeated me yet
Nyx
As the sun sets
I feel some peace
At last
How I wish that it would stay
When the sun shines I feel the panic
My heart starts to race
These feelings I cannot control
These feelings I cannot face
What do you do
When you can no longer run
You have to look back and see
Everything you have done
Watch yourself as you fell
Into the depths of hell
I am so grateful for this moment
This moment of peace
Nyx
I ask myself why
I can not be alone
Why does the pain hit
When I sit here in silence
Why does it go away
Only when someone is near
This is what I fear
That this loneliness
Will consume me
That the pain will never leave
Why does it have to hurt so much
Why won’t it go away
Why do I have to fight this pain
Every single day
Nyx
I cry everyday
Nothing keeps the pain away
As soon as I am alone
It hits me hard
I feel so broken
I feel so lost
Every day I live
I feel the cost
I feel myself grow weary
I feel the drain
All I feel is agony
It is always the same
I do not know what to do
To make it go away
All I have ever done
Is feel it everyday
I would give anything
To make the pain stop
I do not know how much longer
I can live this way
For now I sit here
Trying to make it through another day
Nyx
There is no rhyme or reason
For the way I feel
All that I can say
Is that the agony is real
It comes in waves
This feeling of despair
Sometimes it hits me hard
Then it is not there
This feeling slowly wears me down
As the days pass by
It wears me down so much
That all I can do is cry
As strong as I try to be
It never defeats the agony
But here I am once again
Pulling myself up
Making myself stand
It is all that I can do
It is all that I have ever done
I will not stop
Until I have won
Nyx
I feel the sadness
It is coming on
I do not know why
I do not know how to fix it
All I want to do is cry
I am not as strong
As I want to be
Because I can not live
Without someone beside me
This makes me weak
This person that I seek
I just want to be strong
I just want to move on
Alone with no one
Nyx
