writing

There is no cure

/ Words from a borderline / 2 Comments

Today I wish I wasn’t me

Like I have so many days before

What I suffer from

There is no cure

As I lay here in the dark

I find comfort in my dreams

There is no pain there

I do not remember

Happiness lasting very long

No matter what I have done

No matter where I have gone

Nothing can replace what was taken from me

I cannot regrow my soul

I long for death

But darkness is not finished with me yet

I know now that I cannot be different

I was not made to feel joy or love

All I can do is hope that there is peace

From some shining light above

In the mean time

I am here

Laying in the dark

Feeling empty and broken

Because everyone is gone

Every part of me was stolen

I feel so alone

It is so hard to go on

I wish for death every single day

There is nothing that anyone can do

There is nothing that anyone can say

That will ever make me want to get up

That will make me believe anything today

Nyx

Why I exist

/ Words from a borderline / 4 Comments

Today I felt it all

I shared my tale

Of heartbreak and pain

But I also told them

What it is I fight for

Why I am still here

I have a purpose in this life

That is why I have to live it

Even though I have fallen

Many times before

Even though I will fall again

This i am sure

I will always get back up

Because they need me here

They need someone who can stand up

And take away their fear

They need someone who understands

They need someone to listen

I will be what I need to be for them

That is why I exist

That is who I am

Nyx

Darkness and the night

/ Words from a borderline / 12 Comments

Darkness will follow me

Wherever I go

When I am alone

This is when I know

I can feel it

He is coming

There he is as the light flickers out

He looks at me and shakes his head

Darling girl why are you still not dead

Haven’t you learned anything yet

This suffering and pain

I will never let you forget

I will make you feel it

Until you cannot breathe

As you gasp for air

I will bring you there

To the cycle of hell that is your life

Don’t you long for it to end

Come with me my dear

I can make it stop

You have nothing to fear

Just take my hand and we will go

Into the darkness of the night

I take his hand

There is nothing left for me here

Nothing left for me to know

As we walk I feel my heartbeat slow

I feel myself as I start to fade

Off together we both go

Me and the only friend I know

Nyx

My world of darkness

/ Words from a borderline / 7 Comments

I live in my own world of darkness

I do not see the light

I feel so alone

I feel so sad

I am still grieving over something

I never had

The sadness turns to pain

So similar than before

Except this time I feel less strength

It is hard to remember what I fight for

It hurts today

As I lay here in the dark

Wondering why I cannot be ok

With being alone again today

Nyx

Grim Reaper

/ Words from a borderline / 5 Comments

Once again there is a fork in the road

Do I follow the path of comfort

Or do I stray down the darker path

The one that brings me back

The one that starts the cycle

Of pain and the longing for death

So many faces of people who once were

I barely remember them now

They just became a part of the darkness

That beckons me back

It is the same darkness

He will always be there

The grim reaper of my soul

Reminding me I lost it long ago

Nyx

This is not the end

/ Words from a borderline / 10 Comments

I have lived a lonely life

Many have come and gone

But Jack my dear you stood out

With all your smiles and your cheer

You became my friend

Within moments of meeting me

It was your actions, not your words

That showed me who you are

A beautiful soul who embraces life

You have walked your own path

Giving me great respect for you

Dear Jack, I believe you are not gone

You live on in my heart

You will live on in each of us

As we walk toward our separate paths

To different places in the world

You gave us another story

About a soul that was so beautiful, so bold

I am grateful to know you

You have reminded me that I am strong

I will keep fighting for both of us

Rest in peace my friend

But this is not the end

Nyx

 

Drifting

/ Words from a borderline / 6 Comments

I used to think that love was the only way

To lead me to my home

But now I feel myself drifting slowly

I do not feel the pull

I have found a way

To walk this world alone

I still feel tinges of the pain

The scars still tear away

And the blood still bleeds through

But I have found a way

To stop searching for you

Nyx

My last dance

/ Words from a borderline / 8 Comments

Another day is passing

The sun begins to set

Here we go again

I lay out the cards

I place my bet

Darkness says to me

It’s a 50/50 chance

This will be your last dance

Nyx

In the end

/ Words from a borderline / 2 Comments

And in the end I see

Clear blue skies in front of me

The peace has finally come

In my life you won

The suffering was great

My love turned to hate

I should be happy breathing

But this cannot be

Because you destroyed me

Nyx