There are so many words that I have said
There are so many words that I have written
None of it really matters
When I am talking into the wind
When a face becomes a shadow
Where a person used to be
The words they are so hollow
No one ever really hears me
I am not a person
I am a just a thing
All I can do is hope
That my heart will beat someday
In the meantime, I sit here
I have nothing left to say
Nyx
Sitting in the dark
Crying again
Letting go of another person
Another strip of my heart is gone
The pain is so great
That I have to shut down
If I didn’t I would break completely
There is no coming back from this
There is no way to change it
I’m still here breathing
Enduring it all
I feel comfort in this time
I have found solitude
I have found solace in the darkness
It is where I belong
There is no human for me
There never will be
Nyx
I can have this hope
That someday I will write to you
And for longer than a few moments
A few precious hours I will not suffer
That hope dies a little more
Every single day
Today is another day
That a piece of me has been stripped away
Left to burn in the flames
Again all I feel right now is pain
Nyx
“Hello Darkness my old friend
It’s nice to see you again”
“My sweet girl why are you so restless?
Can’t find that peace you still seek?
Can’t find an ear to listen to the screams?
Well here I am my dear
I will listen as you scream in pain
Then I will take you with me
I will lay my claim
In the end it will be the same
This is how it must be
Some day soon you will see
It has always been me
I am your true friend
I will show you how your life will end
Take my hand my dear”
I take his hand
“I know darkness
You are always right
Once again you are my only friend tonight”
Together we descend
I feel that familiar ache
It grips my chest again
The sadness lingers
Never far from the surface
Sadness brings this feeling
No words can truly describe it
All my life I have fought
This feeling that I must endure
I have learned I must embrace it
There is no cure
Maybe someday this will change
Maybe it will end
I just have to face this feeling
Until then
This is how it must be
I see darkness creeping toward me
I am still here my friend
But please go away
I do not have the strength
To walk with you again today
Nyx
She suffers in ways
That no one can see
The agony gets swept aside
By the powder she spreads across her face
Covering the darkness
Covering the scars
There is no part left to be seen
She covers it all
Underneath the paint
Underneath the skin
The darkness hides the flame
The fire that keeps her alive
The anger makes her move
When all hope is lost
Everyday a piece is taken
Living her life at this high cost
Broken and bleeding
Mended here and there
How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere
Her pleas are unheard
Her tears are unseen
She will exist as she is
A plastered doll covered in paint and powder
Living in shame
I hear her as she screams louder
While she burns from within
Nyx
Will I find the peace I seek
I have hope in my heart tonight
I lay here in the dark
Under the glow of the stars
The minutes tick by
They become hours
There is peace in the silence, I feel it
I will live in this moment
These fleeting moments I must treasure
This is all I know
It has taken so long to feel this peace
I hope when the sun rises
My dreams will be real
Nyx
Imagine the worst pain you have ever felt
When your heart was broken
When you were broken
Imagine having that pain
Over and over again
Every single day
All due to the words of someone else
Whoever is filling the void
My unattractive sickness
Is that what you see
Welcome to my reality
Nyx
Today I find myself
In a place I have never been before
Divided by who I was
And who I have become
Nyx
The sadness hits me
As soon as I close the door
I feel the hate for myself
More than anything else
The hate, the shame, and my hollow soul
Nyx
