The Pit

I am alone again

My thoughts have slowed down

I slept and then woke up to sadness

Once again not knowing what to do

At least I have my furry companions

They lay beside me now

Taking away a little piece of the pain

That pulls the rest of me away

My will is broken

The sadness is too strong

It keeps me trapped here in the darkness

Wishing it will end

Wishing I will see the light again

No matter what I do

No matter what I say

No matter where I go

The sadness never goes away

It is like an endless pit

That nothing will ever fill

I can climb it and think I’m getting better

I can climb so high

Then I scream

Then I shout

But I fear I will never make it out

Nyx

Addictions

Push him out

Let him in

Push him out

Let him in

Pain

Emptiness

More pain

I wish I could change

but I’ll probably just stay the same

I had a taste of my addiction

Now it’s gone

I just want to be dead

Nyx

Darkness please come

I long for the darkness to take me there

Away from this life

I can no longer care

About what exists outside these walls

All I want right now is to never wake up

Darkness please come

Darkness please take me away

I give up

You have won today

Nyx

Alien

I feel empty

Alone and guarded

Tired of the pain

The others always bring

I often feel

That I am an alien in this world

That I will never really belong here

My smile

My words

I fool you all

I have never been human

I am something else

And I am still here

Every day I wake

Indifferent to each breath I take

Maybe someday the emptiness will fill

Until then here I am

An alien that walks on land

Nyx

Solace in the dark

Sitting in the dark

Crying again

Letting go of another person

Another strip of my heart is gone

The pain is so great

That I have to shut down

If I didn’t I would break completely

There is no coming back from this

There is no way to change it

I’m still here breathing

Enduring it all

I feel comfort in this time

I have found solitude

I have found solace in the darkness

It is where I belong

There is no human for me

There never will be

Nyx

Grim Reaper

Once again there is a fork in the road

Do I follow the path of comfort

Or do I stray down the darker path

The one that brings me back

The one that starts the cycle

Of pain and the longing for death

So many faces of people who once were

I barely remember them now

They just became a part of the darkness

That beckons me back

It is the same darkness

He will always be there

The grim reaper of my soul

Reminding me I lost it long ago

Nyx

Loneliness

I ask myself why

I can not be alone

Why does the pain hit

When I sit here in silence

Why does it go away

Only when someone is near

This is what I fear

That this loneliness

Will consume me

That the pain will never leave

Why does it have to hurt so much

Why won’t it go away

Why do I have to fight this pain

Every single day

Nyx