Broken

I exist in my own hell

A busted broken shell

I break everyday

Nothing takes the pain away

There is no song that brings lasting peace

There is no wind on my face

There is no ground to walk on

There is nothing anyone can say

Because they all walk away

I wish I did not exist

But here I am

Living this life of pain

I will never be the same

I cannot fix what they have done

I was created and at the moment

My creators have won

I no longer see the beauty of the sun

I no longer see a blue sky

In this moment all I want to

Is die

Nyx

Let go

I barely make it through

Everything that I do

No matter what I have done

I have yet to feel the sun

It does not shine upon my face

There is no warm welcoming embrace

As I find myself here

There is no one near

No one to wipe away my tears

No one to soothe me

No one to shield me from my fears

So, I just fall

Further into the dark

I see nothing in this place

So, I close my eyes

And let go

Nyx

 

After the damage is done

What am I doing

How do I change who I am

Somedays all I want to do is sleep

Somedays all I want to do is run away

I cut them all out of my life

Then I want them back

What is wrong with me

I am so lost today

This is when I pull them back

After the damage is done

It is already too late

Nyx

Without sound

She stood there

Her hair floated in the breeze

The pain it gripped her

Brought her to her knees

She screamed but no one heard her

She stretched out her arms

But no one saw

The scars that were red and raw

The sorrow and the screams were ignored

It was easier to look away

Than to look upon this girl

So they continued forward

As she stayed behind

To suffer alone

She was left there

Inside her home of pain

She was left there

And everyday she drowned

She was lost

She was seen

But without sound

Nyx

The setting sun

I love you and I hate you

This I know is true

You left me slowly dying

Like so many have done before

I screamed your name

As you walked through the door

There is nothing left

Of the person I was before

You are one of many

Yet you have left your own scar

The chunk you ripped was the last

Of a girl that has passed

Her death was grieved by no one

The shell that remains of me

Looks at the setting sun

I find resolve in who I have become

But I will never forget what you have done

Nyx

Loneliness

I ask myself why

I can not be alone

Why does the pain hit

When I sit here in silence

Why does it go away

Only when someone is near

This is what I fear

That this loneliness

Will consume me

That the pain will never leave

Why does it have to hurt so much

Why won’t it go away

Why do I have to fight this pain

Every single day

Nyx

You are not alone

At this moment I feel so empty

Hollow inside

Sometimes I ask myself

Why I even tried

Why I thought that I could be happy

Why I thought I would find the door

The door that opens to another life

To a life without the pain

I can no longer endure

A life lived without the lack of love I long for

I will never be like everyone else

This I know is true

I will never see the world

The way that others do

I continue to suffer in silence

Reflecting to myself

I wonder if someone else could do better

With the deck I have in my hand

Then I realize this does not matter

Because I am one of the damned

I wish I did not feel this way

As I fight through another day

I just want everyone to know

To all of you who suffer in silence

You are not alone

Nyx

Fleeting dreams 

I used to think you loved me 

Then you said good bye 

I sit here asking myself why 

Why can’t love be unconditional

Why can’t you try 

We are all flawed in someway 

At least I never lie 

One thing I will never understand 

Is why you thought you ever loved me 

Because true love is unconditional 

It does not fade with words

It does not fade with time 

I was never yours 

You were never mine 

I hope that you do find 

True love someday 

At least I know now 

What it is we never had 

Someday you will find the one 

That you will forever love and adore 

In the mean time 

My fleeting dream is gone 

Nyx

Hope lies within my dreams 

I am sitting here 

Alone again 

Silent and still 

I wish I could say 

That I am fine 

But I would only be lying 

Let them sleep 

As I bury the pain again

Let the apathy set it 

So I can wake up again tomorrow 

I feel the emptiness fill me 

As I listen to the sounds of the night 

As I embrace the serenity of the darkness 

And find comfort in the stars 

In a few hours a new day will start 

Once again I am reminded 

What being alone means 

I am lost in my own world 

Where hope lies within my dreams 

Nyx 

Lost in the dark 

I am lost in the dark 

Running so far 

It’s never fast enough 

To forget what I have seen 

Never fast enough 

To forget who I thought you were 

I thought that I would be true to you 

No matter what you do 

I was wrong 

Nyx