Finding myself again

When all is lost I look inward 

Finding myself again 

Nothing has gone as planned 

Yet I still stand 

With my head high 

As the world looks smaller below 

I look to the sky 

Nyx

Ripped apart

Live and learn they say 

Why do we have to learn

By being ripped apart

Where does the pain end 

When does this learning start 

I do not believe these words are true 

Each piece that is pulled from me 

Is another piece gone 

I was always this strong 

What I have learned is how not to fear 

But this was after being beat down 

Year after year 

Losing everything 

Again and again 

Falling further and faster 

With no where to land 

Being pushed down

Until I could not stand 

Having my head pushed under 

Until I was swallowing water 

This has made me fearless 

A monster you see 

Do you think I would be someone else

If this did not happen to me 

No I would still be me 

Nyx

Your end 

I raise my head higher

Never looking down 

My goal is to stay this predator that I am 

In my empire I will stand 

Without doubt, anger, or fear 

My enemies will quiver when I am near 

If you face me you will lose 

In the end I always win 

Play your hand my friend 

It will be your end 

Nyx

Where I breathe 

Peace fills me 

As I feel the breeze in the air 

Listening to the sound of nature 

I feel like I am home 

This is where my heart is

Outside behind the trees 

This is where I can rest 

This is where I breathe 

No negative words

No negative emotions 

This is all I think 

This is all I see 

This beautiful place that surrounds me 

Nyx

Holding on

I keep my head held high 

Hardening my heart as the day ticks by

Questioning my emotions 

Letting my mind drift 

Listening as the ocean

Pulls in the waves 

Feeling the peace 

That this sound brings 

Holding on to who I am 

As I feel my feet dig into the sand 

Nyx 

Nothing left 

What do you have to be 

To exist in this world 

What do you have to become 

In order to survive it 

What do you do 

When there is nothing left of you 

Nyx 

In a million ways 

My darling 

I just want you to know 

That for a million days 

In a million ways 

My love for you will only continue to grow 

You have become my sunshine 

After the storm

You have become my moonlight 

Showing me the way each night

You have become my peace 

When everything spins out of control 

You have become my everything 

You are the other half of my soul

Nyx 

This monster that you made

I feel my heart stop beating  

I feel myself break in half 

Why am I always left here 

Alone in this place 

How many demons must I conquer

To forget your face 

You have destroyed 

Only to recreate 

It is too late to change 

This monster that you made 

I try to dream 

I try to float away 

Instead I scream

As I drown on the inside

Remembering all the lies 

I try to live in this moment 

But this moment does not last 

What I would not give 

To be able to erase the past

Nyx 

Never slowing down

As my world spins and spins around me

My thoughts a shattered mess

I stop to think to myself

When is the next test

Waiting for the next battle

Never resting

Never slowing down

I only feel peace

When I listen to the sound

The music soothes my ranting mind

When I am chained and  bound

By everything that crashes through my head

When I think to myself I would be better off dead

When I want to be surrounded by nothing

I find the one thing that makes me feel human

The one thing that is always there

Peace is what I find

When music soothes my mind

Nyx

As my heart peels away

I watch as the sun rises 

I watch as the sun sets 

I can not help but wonder 

Is this as good as it gets 

These moments here and there 

These moments when I find my way 

These moments when I write to you 

When I show you the way 

I wear my heart on the outside 

I do not hide it within 

This is why I am so damaged 

Because we live in a world 

Plagued by sin 

This is when I feel the pain 

When I think of all the loss 

When I think of what they have gained 

This is when I lose the hope 

That my heart will stay full 

That my true nature will remain 

With everything I lose 

With everything they gain 

Some days I feel myself slip 

Into something else 

Into a creature fighting to live 

Into a creature with nothing left to give 

Sick and tired of the evil of man 

Sick of fighting for everything that I am 

It is so hard to keep hope in my heart 

When everyone takes a strip 

Tearing it apart 

There are a few pieces left of me 

Still out there for the world to see 

My weakness is known 

My honesty is shown 

My layers of beauty hide the scars 

They hide the peeled back strips 

They hide the darkness 

The darkness that is starting to show

I fear I will never stop fighting 

I fear I will never stop feeling 

These strips they just keep peeling

I fear one day there will be nothing left 

I fear that even the shell of who I was 

Will wither away and just be gone 

I wonder at this moment 

If my soul will let me move on 

Nyx