Still drifting

I walk this world a wanderer

Drifting from here to there

It is hard to believe I am still breathing

But here I am still wandering the land

Some days I wish I was not me

Somedays I wish I was gone

Today I sit here, still breathing

Always fighting through the pain

Always fighting to hold on

I will remain as I have always been

A wanderer running away from sin

Running away from my shame

There is no one here to blame

I left them when I drifted

Along this path in life

I had to let them go

I had to say goodbye

I will never stop moving

There is no home for me

Wandering here then moving forward

This is who I was meant to be

Nyx

My home

Seconds pass into minutes

Minutes pass into hours

Hours pass into years

Will I ever really be ok

I have faced my fears

I have seen it all

There is nothing that anyone can do

To stop me today

Time is passing so quickly

Memories are fading away

What I have longed for

I have found

It is my place in this world

I am making my mark

I have been doused in water

But I still carry the spark

The will to save them

The others like me

I will let them see

That they are cared for

I will let them see

The strength I have inside of me

They have always been my home

They are my destiny

Nyx

There is no cure

Today I wish I wasn’t me

Like I have so many days before

What I suffer from

There is no cure

As I lay here in the dark

I find comfort in my dreams

There is no pain there

I do not remember

Happiness lasting very long

No matter what I have done

No matter where I have gone

Nothing can replace what was taken from me

I cannot regrow my soul

I long for death

But darkness is not finished with me yet

I know now that I cannot be different

I was not made to feel joy or love

All I can do is hope that there is peace

From some shining light above

In the mean time

I am here

Laying in the dark

Feeling empty and broken

Because everyone is gone

Every part of me was stolen

I feel so alone

It is so hard to go on

I wish for death every single day

There is nothing that anyone can do

There is nothing that anyone can say

That will ever make me want to get up

That will make me believe anything today

Nyx

Why I exist

Today I felt it all

I shared my tale

Of heartbreak and pain

But I also told them

What it is I fight for

Why I am still here

I have a purpose in this life

That is why I have to live it

Even though I have fallen

Many times before

Even though I will fall again

This i am sure

I will always get back up

Because they need me here

They need someone who can stand up

And take away their fear

They need someone who understands

They need someone to listen

I will be what I need to be for them

That is why I exist

That is who I am

Nyx

Darkness and the night

Darkness will follow me

Wherever I go

When I am alone

This is when I know

I can feel it

He is coming

There he is as the light flickers out

He looks at me and shakes his head

Darling girl why are you still not dead

Haven’t you learned anything yet

This suffering and pain

I will never let you forget

I will make you feel it

Until you cannot breathe

As you gasp for air

I will bring you there

To the cycle of hell that is your life

Don’t you long for it to end

Come with me my dear

I can make it stop

You have nothing to fear

Just take my hand and we will go

Into the darkness of the night

I take his hand

There is nothing left for me here

Nothing left for me to know

As we walk I feel my heartbeat slow

I feel myself as I start to fade

Off together we both go

Me and the only friend I know

Nyx

On my own

I am still floating in the air

I will not know where I am going

Until I get there

What do you do

When the world crashes down

Where do you turn

When no ones around

I keep walking forward

Somehow I do

Some days are so hard

Just to live through

Maybe some day I will find my home

Until then I will continue to walk forward

On my own

Nyx

Together we descend 

I watch as the skies fade into gray 

I am so tired of fighting alone 

This is just the way it has to be 

Alone I wonder into the abyss 

Darkness follows behind 

Playing his role in kind 

This I am ok with 

Because I know 

Darkness is part of my mind 

There is no joy without despair 

There is no light without darkness

There is no beginning without an end 

So I take darkness, I grab his hand 

Together we descend 

Nyx 

Finding myself again

When all is lost I look inward 

Finding myself again 

Nothing has gone as planned 

Yet I still stand 

With my head high 

As the world looks smaller below 

I look to the sky 

Nyx

Ripped apart

Live and learn they say 

Why do we have to learn

By being ripped apart

Where does the pain end 

When does this learning start 

I do not believe these words are true 

Each piece that is pulled from me 

Is another piece gone 

I was always this strong 

What I have learned is how not to fear 

But this was after being beat down 

Year after year 

Losing everything 

Again and again 

Falling further and faster 

With no where to land 

Being pushed down

Until I could not stand 

Having my head pushed under 

Until I was swallowing water 

This has made me fearless 

A monster you see 

Do you think I would be someone else

If this did not happen to me 

No I would still be me 

Nyx

Your end 

I raise my head higher

Never looking down 

My goal is to stay this predator that I am 

In my empire I will stand 

Without doubt, anger, or fear 

My enemies will quiver when I am near 

If you face me you will lose 

In the end I always win 

Play your hand my friend 

It will be your end 

Nyx