Happily ever after

I try to cherish these moments

These moments of clarity

These moments when I feel ok

This fleeting time has come and gone

The hours and days go faster

All I can do is hope that some day

I will find my happily ever after

Nyx

This face

What have I become

Who was I before

I do not recognize

This face I see reflected at me

Maybe I am already

Everything I was meant to be

Nyx

Walk away

My perception sees wrong intention

Is my perception real

Is this sinking feeling justified

Take take take

That’s what I see

She takes takes takes

Until there is only a shell of me

I used to want to give

But sometimes giving is not enough

I realize today

That sometimes the only answer

Is to walk away

Nyx

Will I find myself again

I wake up feeling this tension

It wraps around my heart

I wake up with good intention

But I feel this anxiety

It is there as soon as I wake

Can I get through this day

Without feeling my heart break

Can I get through this day

Feeling better at the end

Will I find myself again

Nyx

I do not walk alone

All this time I thought I was walking alone

I was wrong

There has always been a presence beside me

This presence that is trying to guide me

Guide me towards my purpose

Guide me towards peace

There is a purpose for this pain

I am reassured by this

In everything that I do

Sometimes I have to listen

Sometimes I have to see

Sometimes I have to feel

Sometimes it is just a thought

I always find the answer

I always find a way

Because my guide is beside me

Every single day

Nyx

Image source geckzilla on Flickr

Facing fear

This was the first year of my life

That I stopped the cycle

The cycle that led me back

To the high of the chase

Then the low from the agony

There has been a void

That my mind used to fill

I have lived this year

Facing the thing I fear the most

I am alone

Nyx

This is not the end

Today I feel so lost

I used to be so sure of my direction

Where I was going

Who I was

Who I wanted to be

Now I feel myself grow tired

Of the frustration each day brings

Wondering what is happening to me

Feeling this lack of security

It is tearing me apart

Indecision clouds my mind

As I feel time slipping away

I feel myself falling

A little more each day

I do not know what to do

I do not know where to go

I will try to find some peace

I will try to find myself again

I do not want to feel this way

This is not the end

Nyx

“We should always be asking ourselves: “ Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?” Epictetus

Humbled

A path I thought was certain

Is no longer there for me

I know I must accept this

But the anxiety burns my chest

I was so sure of myself

So sure of who I would be

So sure of what I would do

It filled me with joy

These thoughts of the path I always dreamed of

I did not see this loss

After coming this far I had no doubts

Yet humbled I have become

Reminded that this is a fight I have not won

So quickly things can change

So quickly hope can lead to pain

I have to find a new path

I have to learn from this

I have to accept this failure

See it for what it is

This was not meant to be

I cannot let this failed dream beat me

Nyx