Once again I long for death
Devastated and broken
By what I have spoken
To someone who cared about me
Sometimes I wonder if the pain will rip me apart
Sometimes I wonder if the pain will stop my heart
What would I be
If I was not me
Darkness and pain
Fire and anger that spreads
Underneath my chest
Is that all that I am
This thing that should not have been
This thing that suffers in the dark
Please someone help me
Please just take me away
Dear God please just kill me today
Nyx
I’ve been avoiding the sunlight
I’ve been avoiding my life
I am so tired of many things
Most of all I am tired of myself
Tired of the shame
Tired of the pain
Tired of existing as I am
What is the point of life
If I am unable to live it
Why give me so much love
And then make it so hard to give it
I have to find some hope
Because I have lost it again
The pain is so extreme
The pain is too much
There has to be a reason
There has to be a way
To pull myself away from this darkness
Once again today
Nyx
My heart springs open
Creaking loudly from being closed so long
Have I found my person
Have I found my home
Have I finally found the piece
Offering me my sweet release
Have I finally found the one
After so much darkness
Is he the sun
Nyx
Feeling content is a gift
A break from sadness and pain
I am grateful for this feeling
I appreciate the lack of pain
I accept this gift
Nyx
I try to cherish these moments
These moments of clarity
These moments when I feel ok
This fleeting time has come and gone
The hours and days go faster
All I can do is hope that some day
I will find my happily ever after
Nyx
What have I become
Who was I before
I do not recognize
This face I see reflected at me
Maybe I am already
Everything I was meant to be
Nyx
My perception sees wrong intention
Is my perception real
Is this sinking feeling justified
Take take take
That’s what I see
She takes takes takes
Until there is only a shell of me
I used to want to give
But sometimes giving is not enough
I realize today
That sometimes the only answer
Is to walk away
Nyx
I wake up feeling this tension
It wraps around my heart
I wake up with good intention
But I feel this anxiety
It is there as soon as I wake
Can I get through this day
Without feeling my heart break
Can I get through this day
Feeling better at the end
Will I find myself again
Nyx
All this time I thought I was walking alone
I was wrong
There has always been a presence beside me
This presence that is trying to guide me
Guide me towards my purpose
Guide me towards peace
There is a purpose for this pain
I am reassured by this
In everything that I do
Sometimes I have to listen
Sometimes I have to see
Sometimes I have to feel
Sometimes it is just a thought
I always find the answer
I always find a way
Because my guide is beside me
Every single day
Nyx
Image source geckzilla on Flickr
Protect Your Peace
Nyx
Words From The Borderline 
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