A shadow

I exist
As a shadow
I float through the world
They hear my voice
But I do not let them see through the smoke
As I flow through the air
Because I know that I can switch it off
And no longer care
A blessing and a curse
Forward than reverse
I long to be whole
But maybe this will never be
All I can do is hope

Nyx

Let go

I barely make it through

Everything that I do

No matter what I have done

I have yet to feel the sun

It does not shine upon my face

There is no warm welcoming embrace

As I find myself here

There is no one near

No one to wipe away my tears

No one to soothe me

No one to shield me from my fears

So, I just fall

Further into the dark

I see nothing in this place

So, I close my eyes

And let go

Nyx

 

Need to pretend

I would rather suffer

In any other way

Then feel the things I feel

Every single day

It does not stop this cycle

Will it ever end

When will I find peace

When will I no longer

Need to pretend

Nyx

For them

Tomorrow the sun will rise

As I close my eyes

I see the world turn black

Sometimes I want to stay this way

Keep them closed forever

There are a few things that keep me here

So I will open them again tomorrow

Push past the sorrow

And walk out the door

Not for me but for them

I will fight until the end

Nyx

Without a home

She exists alone again

There is no one there

To hold her hand

She seeks peace within herself

Because she has no choice

Forward she walks

Into the unknown

Somber still

Without a home

Nyx

For just a moment

As she walks away

The grass dies beneath her feet

The trees are blown from sight

The clouds they turn to grey

As the storm comes

She looks to the sky

As the rain falls

She closes her eyes

For just a moment she feels peace

Nyx

Shut it down

In the end I see

There will be no one beside me

I have to make myself believe

That I will be alright someday

That somehow I can make myself

Shut it down again

All the pain inside

I have to make it stop

Nyx

As I walk through the storm

He made me cry

Before I said goodbye 

There is no perfect mix 

No one who can see 

Who I really am 

Who I strive to be 

I exist and yet I do not 

All my life I have fought 

To find the balance that I need 

In order to push myself 

I need to believe 

That someday I will find 

The one thing that I need 

Someone beside me 

As I walk through the storm

Arms to embrace me 

When I need it the most

I will find you 

This I know is true 

I will not stop

Until I do 

Nyx

Which path

What do I want

Which path do I choose

How will I know

Whether I will win or lose

I fight but I do not know

Whether my feet will hit the ground

Will I stand

Or will I fall

Nyx