Facing fear

This was the first year of my life

That I stopped the cycle

The cycle that led me back

To the high of the chase

Then the low from the agony

There has been a void

That my mind used to fill

I have lived this year

Facing the thing I fear the most

I am alone

Nyx

This is not the end

Today I feel so lost

I used to be so sure of my direction

Where I was going

Who I was

Who I wanted to be

Now I feel myself grow tired

Of the frustration each day brings

Wondering what is happening to me

Feeling this lack of security

It is tearing me apart

Indecision clouds my mind

As I feel time slipping away

I feel myself falling

A little more each day

I do not know what to do

I do not know where to go

I will try to find some peace

I will try to find myself again

I do not want to feel this way

This is not the end

Nyx

Humbled

A path I thought was certain

Is no longer there for me

I know I must accept this

But the anxiety burns my chest

I was so sure of myself

So sure of who I would be

So sure of what I would do

It filled me with joy

These thoughts of the path I always dreamed of

I did not see this loss

After coming this far I had no doubts

Yet humbled I have become

Reminded that this is a fight I have not won

So quickly things can change

So quickly hope can lead to pain

I have to find a new path

I have to learn from this

I have to accept this failure

See it for what it is

This was not meant to be

I cannot let this failed dream beat me

Nyx

Faith

Uncertainty ruled my thoughts today

But self reflection guided me

Onto a better path

It showed me what I needed to see

There is no certainty in the steps we take in life

But there is faith in a future that can be bright

Nyx

New challenges

Today I wake up to new challenges

I am reminded of the uncertainty

That each day brings

And with each day a new dawn rises

Giving me the chance to start again

Giving me the energy to push myself forward

Because I either rise or fall

That decision is mine to make

With every step I do or do not take

Today I am taking a step

Because that is what I choose to do

Nyx

Addictions

Push him out

Let him in

Push him out

Let him in

Pain

Emptiness

More pain

I wish I could change

But I’ll probably just stay the same

I had a taste of my addiction

Now it’s gone

I just want to be dead

Nyx

Finding strength

More than I ever have

I have to find the strength

I have to believe

That I can be better

That I can live my life some day

Without the pain I felt before

With every decision I make

With everything that I have left to give

I rise today for you

For those who are as lost as me

I rise again because I must

I have to open the door

So everyone can see

That everyone deserves a chance

To live their lives with happiness

Nyx

Death and comfort

You are dead to me

Because that’s the way it needs to be

Get the hell away from me

Before I make you hurt

You don’t want to feel the way that I do

Just get the hell away from me

That’s all I ask of you

Nyx