This was the first year of my life
That I stopped the cycle
The cycle that led me back
To the high of the chase
Then the low from the agony
There has been a void
That my mind used to fill
I have lived this year
Facing the thing I fear the most
I am alone
Nyx
Today I feel so lost
I used to be so sure of my direction
Where I was going
Who I was
Who I wanted to be
Now I feel myself grow tired
Of the frustration each day brings
Wondering what is happening to me
Feeling this lack of security
It is tearing me apart
Indecision clouds my mind
As I feel time slipping away
I feel myself falling
A little more each day
I do not know what to do
I do not know where to go
I will try to find some peace
I will try to find myself again
I do not want to feel this way
This is not the end
Nyx
A path I thought was certain
Is no longer there for me
I know I must accept this
But the anxiety burns my chest
I was so sure of myself
So sure of who I would be
So sure of what I would do
It filled me with joy
These thoughts of the path I always dreamed of
I did not see this loss
After coming this far I had no doubts
Yet humbled I have become
Reminded that this is a fight I have not won
So quickly things can change
So quickly hope can lead to pain
I have to find a new path
I have to learn from this
I have to accept this failure
See it for what it is
This was not meant to be
I cannot let this failed dream beat me
Nyx
Uncertainty ruled my thoughts today
But self reflection guided me
Onto a better path
It showed me what I needed to see
There is no certainty in the steps we take in life
But there is faith in a future that can be bright
Nyx
Today I wake up to new challenges
I am reminded of the uncertainty
That each day brings
And with each day a new dawn rises
Giving me the chance to start again
Giving me the energy to push myself forward
Because I either rise or fall
That decision is mine to make
With every step I do or do not take
Today I am taking a step
Because that is what I choose to do
Nyx
Push him out
Let him in
Push him out
Let him in
Pain
Emptiness
More pain
I wish I could change
But I’ll probably just stay the same
I had a taste of my addiction
Now it’s gone
I just want to be dead
Nyx
More than I ever have
I have to find the strength
I have to believe
That I can be better
That I can live my life some day
Without the pain I felt before
With every decision I make
With everything that I have left to give
I rise today for you
For those who are as lost as me
I rise again because I must
I have to open the door
So everyone can see
That everyone deserves a chance
To live their lives with happiness
Nyx
You are dead to me
Because that’s the way it needs to be
Get the hell away from me
Before I make you hurt
You don’t want to feel the way that I do
Just get the hell away from me
That’s all I ask of you
Nyx
How do I make it stop
How do I escape
This hell that is my fate
Nyx
