I try to cherish these moments
These moments of clarity
These moments when I feel ok
This fleeting time has come and gone
The hours and days go faster
All I can do is hope that some day
I will find my happily ever after
Nyx
life
This face
What have I become
Who was I before
I do not recognize
This face I see reflected at me
Maybe I am already
Everything I was meant to be
Nyx
Walk away
My perception sees wrong intention
Is my perception real
Is this sinking feeling justified
Take take take
That’s what I see
She takes takes takes
Until there is only a shell of me
I used to want to give
But sometimes giving is not enough
I realize today
That sometimes the only answer
Is to walk away
Nyx
Will I find myself again
I wake up feeling this tension
It wraps around my heart
I wake up with good intention
But I feel this anxiety
It is there as soon as I wake
Can I get through this day
Without feeling my heart break
Can I get through this day
Feeling better at the end
Will I find myself again
Nyx
I do not walk alone
All this time I thought I was walking alone
I was wrong
There has always been a presence beside me
This presence that is trying to guide me
Guide me towards my purpose
Guide me towards peace
There is a purpose for this pain
I am reassured by this
In everything that I do
Sometimes I have to listen
Sometimes I have to see
Sometimes I have to feel
Sometimes it is just a thought
I always find the answer
I always find a way
Because my guide is beside me
Every single day
Nyx
Image source geckzilla on Flickr
Mantra for today
Protect Your Peace
Nyx
Facing fear
This was the first year of my life
That I stopped the cycle
The cycle that led me back
To the high of the chase
Then the low from the agony
There has been a void
That my mind used to fill
I have lived this year
Facing the thing I fear the most
I am alone
Nyx
This is not the end
Today I feel so lost
I used to be so sure of my direction
Where I was going
Who I was
Who I wanted to be
Now I feel myself grow tired
Of the frustration each day brings
Wondering what is happening to me
Feeling this lack of security
It is tearing me apart
Indecision clouds my mind
As I feel time slipping away
I feel myself falling
A little more each day
I do not know what to do
I do not know where to go
I will try to find some peace
I will try to find myself again
I do not want to feel this way
This is not the end
Nyx
“We should always be asking ourselves: “ Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?” Epictetus
Humbled
A path I thought was certain
Is no longer there for me
I know I must accept this
But the anxiety burns my chest
I was so sure of myself
So sure of who I would be
So sure of what I would do
It filled me with joy
These thoughts of the path I always dreamed of
I did not see this loss
After coming this far I had no doubts
Yet humbled I have become
Reminded that this is a fight I have not won
So quickly things can change
So quickly hope can lead to pain
I have to find a new path
I have to learn from this
I have to accept this failure
See it for what it is
This was not meant to be
I cannot let this failed dream beat me
Nyx
