Until I slip away

You keep yourself

Just beyond my reach

When you are ready

You pull me down below

Drown me in water

Or you throw me sideways

Through the window

With all the shards of glass

And the water I cannot swallow

You torture me until I slip away

Nyx

For the ashes of what once was 

As I walk through the trees 

I feel the breeze 

It is all I have to calm me 

In this moment as I grieve 

For the wishes and dreams I did not receive 

For the ashes of what once was 

For the memories that you gave me 

For the days that I have wept 

For something that was never real

There is no one that can save me 

From the fall that has begun 

There is no one that can reverse 

All the damage you have done 

As the anger subsides 

I find my resolve 

You are just another puzzle 

I was meant to solve 

Nyx

Strength

The heaviness wears me down

All I want is sleep

I fight through another day

Dreaming of an empire I will build

But I may not make it

Before my skin starts to decay

I may not make it

Before the lights fade

To the dimmest shade of grey

I try not to dream of tomorrow

I try not to dream of yesterday

But this leaves me with an emptiness inside

One that will not go away

I cannot fix these fractures

They have taken their own form and shape

They have sliced away my feelings

Until there is nothing left

Self-destructive thoughts

And the longing for the dark

This is what I see today

Yet, I have stood up

As I write these words to you

I just need the strength to stay awake

I just need the strength to find myself again

I just have to make it

I just have to stand

Nyx

No control

The panic hits me

Then I crash

I cannot control it

There is no turning back

It starts like a tidal wave

Rising and turning

My chest starts to pound

Then it starts burning

I breathe in the air

I listen for a sound

I feel the world close in around me

As the air leaves my lungs

I have no control

Today it has won

Nyx

The tears I have not shed 

For the arms I have not felt 

For the tears I have not shed 

For the loneliness your absence brings 

For the years of torment and pain 

I hope you got what you needed from me 

I hope what you stole was worth it to you

You created a monster that day 

The day you took my innocence away 

The day you pierced the knife in 

But never stuck it all the way through 

The moments I will never forget 

The things I never wanted to see 

You buried them in the ashes of my heart 

So easy to brush away and see 

Everything you did to me 

I hope that someday your heart burns 

I hope that someday you feel the pain

In the meantime

I will keep fighting every day 

In the meantime I will survive despite you 

Because that is the only thing 

That I can do 

Nyx 

I will never stop fighting 

I feel the emptiness as it starts to grow 

I feel it slip through the cracks 

It is starting to show 

My face no longer wants to smile 

The anger inside me 

It just continues to build 

The rage it boils 

The pain burns 

As my fists clench 

I know I will fight you all 

Until my last breath I swear it 

Step in front of me I dare you 

I will not spare you 

You will lose 

Nyx

Lost in the dark 

I am lost in the dark 

Running so far 

It’s never fast enough 

To forget what I have seen 

Never fast enough 

To forget who I thought you were 

I thought that I would be true to you 

No matter what you do 

I was wrong 

Nyx 

 

To be free

I feel so heavy 

So weighed down

I feel the darkness 

Rise above my head 

Pulling me further 

Filling me with dread

Maybe I will make it

Maybe I will not

Maybe I will find a way 

To fix myself again 

Maybe I will wake up 

When all I want is sleep 

Maybe I will pull the blade out 

The one that’s in so deep 

Maybe I will find a way  

To be free 

Nyx