In the end

And in the end 

I stand alone 

My skin is made of leather 

My heart is shielded in stone 

This is the way I must be 

Because they all betray me 

Nyx 

Loneliness is what I fear

The pain

It comes and goes

Hits me in waves

Sometimes it lasts for hours

Sometimes it lasts for days

Until I shut it down

It is often soothed

By the sound of someone else

Or the sound of music

Playing in my head

Sometimes when the pain is gone

All I feel is dread

Loneliness is what I fear

Night after night

Year after year

I do not want to be alone

I want to find my home

Nyx

I will not stop

There is no rhyme or reason

For the way I feel

All that I can say

Is that the agony is real

It comes in waves

This feeling of despair

Sometimes it hits me hard

Then it is not there

This feeling slowly wears me down

As the days pass by

It wears me down so much

That all I can do is cry

As strong as I try to be

It never defeats the agony

But here I am once again

Pulling myself up

Making myself stand

It is all that I can do

It is all that I have ever done

I will not stop

Until I have won

Nyx

Treading water

Today I feel broken

As I push myself to do

What needs to be done

Once again relying on no one

Every turn leads to a wall

Before the foundation gives

Before I fall

I see the water below

It lies beneath as the ground gives way

I am treading water today

Nyx

My heart a broken stone

And another walks away

Like so many have before

That is just what they do

Before I feel the knife slam through

The loneliness and the pain

It always feels the same

Who have I become

I exist and yet

I am no one

I walk this world alone

My heart a broken stone

The cracks they chip away

A little more each day

This is the way it must be

Until there is nothing left of me

Nyx

No one

I feel the ice

Pressed against my skin

I feel the air compress

As my chest caves in

I hear myself

As I gasp for air

There is no one there

Nyx

Obstacles

With every obstacle that I face

I know there will be another

To take its place

It does not matter

Let them come

As long as I am still breathing

I will not stop

Until I have won

Nyx

Depression

Today I feel so hollow

The depression it hits me hard

There is no thought

There is no action

That makes me feel this way

It is just a feeling that I live with

Every single day

Sometimes I forget

Until I sit still

Then I realize that this depression

It is real

There is no rhyme or reason

For the way I feel

I sit here alone in silence

Hoping this feeling will end

This is when I try to escape

This is when I pretend

Nyx

Disclaimer: When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret anything literally. I only say this, because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or where or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem, they are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day.  Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing, I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems, I appreciate the hell out of you. 

Gone

I hear the footsteps soften

As another person walks away

Deep inside I feel the pain

As my body grieves

On the surface

I wear a smile

I show no weakness

I show no pain

Another scar hardens around my heart

Another one slithered through

And now he is gone

Nyx

No one left

My world has changed again

Trying to find my home

Feeling so alone

The air sweeps me off my feet

I feel defeated, I just want to sleep

Where do you go

When you no longer know

Where you belong

No one sees me

As I fade away

There is no one watching

There is no one left

Nyx