I wake up feeling this tension
It wraps around my heart
I wake up with good intention
But I feel this anxiety
It is there as soon as I wake
Can I get through this day
Without feeling my heart break
Can I get through this day
Feeling better at the end
Will I find myself again
Nyx
I am lost again today
I am just a hole
A black mass
Of never ending nothing
Never ending nothing
Nyx
Today I felt myself fall backward
Into the sadness and the pain
The longing to escape was so great
Even greater than my own self hate
Slowly I took myself away from the darkness
Because I had to
Instead of thinking of the sadness
Instead of thinking of the things I have lost
I thought of the things I do have
I thought of the things I have fought for
Sometimes it feels like I go back to the beginning
The beginning of a journey through hell
I just have to remind myself that I have already been there
I have already come this far
I have to say to myself this darkness
It is not who you are
Nyx
All this time I thought I was walking alone
I was wrong
There has always been a presence beside me
This presence that is trying to guide me
Guide me towards my purpose
Guide me towards peace
There is a purpose for this pain
I am reassured by this
In everything that I do
Sometimes I have to listen
Sometimes I have to see
Sometimes I have to feel
Sometimes it is just a thought
I always find the answer
I always find a way
Because my guide is beside me
Every single day
Nyx
Image source geckzilla on Flickr
Protect Your Peace
Nyx
I listen as the world moves around me
Self hate is boiling inside
Bubbling over into reality
Nyx
A path I thought was certain
Is no longer there for me
I know I must accept this
But the anxiety burns my chest
I was so sure of myself
So sure of who I would be
So sure of what I would do
It filled me with joy
These thoughts of the path I always dreamed of
I did not see this loss
After coming this far I had no doubts
Yet humbled I have become
Reminded that this is a fight I have not won
So quickly things can change
So quickly hope can lead to pain
I have to find a new path
I have to learn from this
I have to accept this failure
See it for what it is
This was not meant to be
I cannot let this failed dream beat me
Nyx
I am alone again
My thoughts have slowed down
I slept and then woke up to sadness
Once again not knowing what to do
At least I have my furry companions
They lay beside me now
Taking away a little piece of the pain
That pulls the rest of me away
My will is broken
The sadness is too strong
It keeps me trapped here in the darkness
Wishing it will end
Wishing I will see the light again
No matter what I do
No matter what I say
No matter where I go
The sadness never goes away
It is like an endless pit
That nothing will ever fill
I can climb it and think I’m getting better
I can climb so high
Then I scream
Then I shout
But I fear I will never make it out
Nyx
I hear the gate slam
As I fall into the flames
All I feel is emptiness and pain
I lie in the darkness
No longer wanting to exist in this world
With the gate slammed shut
I find my resolve
I have accepted my fate
I can not save myself
From my own mind
I just want to feel the flames
For the last time
Nyx
Darkness has reminded me of the agony
That sadness brings
I will feel euphoria
Until it all comes crashing down
This is when I feel him near me
This is when he brings the pain
He is my reminder of who I used to be
He is my reminder of the torment I have felt
He is my reminder that everyone walked away
But today I fight him because I must
I have to remind myself
That I have always gotten back up
Every time I fell
I have to remind myself
That there is a way out of hell
Nyx
Words From A Borderline 
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