Just another day

Once again I was fooled

I thought I would see the sun

I thought I would see the flowers bloom

I was wrong

The time will never come

There is no time for us

The clouds grow dark

The sky turns grey

Today is just another

Day like yesterday

I feel so alone

As I sit here in the dark

My heart breaks

I feel the pain again

This is what happens

This cycle that never ends

The cause does not matter

It always feels the same

There is nothing left of me

There is nothing left to gain

Anything that was human has died

A thousand times before

I exist and stand

Only for what I fight for

Nyx

The void

There is a hole

Where my heart used to be

It was ripped out

It was taken from me

The hole grows a little more each day

This feeling of despair

It takes me away

I exist as darkness

There is nothing left

Just this void in my chest

Nyx

False hope

I can have this hope

That someday I will write to you

And for longer than a few moments

A few precious hours I will not suffer

That hope dies a little more

Every single day

Today is another day

That a piece of me has been stripped away

Left to burn in the flames

Again all I feel right now is pain

Nyx

 

Dialogue with my friend darkness

“Hello Darkness my old friend

It’s nice to see you again”

“My sweet girl why are you so restless?

Can’t find that peace you still seek?

Can’t find an ear to listen to the screams?

Well here I am my dear

I will listen as you scream in pain

Then I will take you with me

I will lay my claim

In the end it will be the same

This is how it must be

Some day soon you will see

It has always been me

I am your true friend

I will show you how your life will end

Take my hand my dear”

I take his hand

“I know darkness

You are always right

Once again you are my only friend tonight”

Together we descend

That familiar feeling

I feel that familiar ache

It grips my chest again

The sadness lingers

Never far from the surface

Sadness brings this feeling

No words can truly describe it

All my life I have fought

This feeling that I must endure

I have learned I must embrace it

There is no cure

Maybe someday this will change

Maybe it will end

I just have to face this feeling

Until then

This is how it must be

I see darkness creeping toward me

I am still here my friend

But please go away

I do not have the strength

To walk with you again today

Nyx

Covered in paint and powder

She suffers in ways

That no one can see

The agony gets swept aside

By the powder she spreads across her face

Covering the darkness

Covering the scars

There is no part left to be seen

She covers it all

Underneath the paint

Underneath the skin

The darkness hides the flame

The fire that keeps her alive

The anger makes her move

When all hope is lost

Everyday a piece is taken

Living her life at this high cost

Broken and bleeding

Mended here and there

How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere

Her pleas are unheard

Her tears are unseen

She will exist as she is

A plastered doll covered in paint and powder

Living in shame

I hear her as she screams louder

While she burns from within

Nyx

Burning

There it is again

That old familiar pain

Taking away another piece of me

What do you do

When all hope is gone

Where do you go

When there is nowhere left

There is nowhere I can feel peace for long

Nowhere that it does not hurt

Everything that is wrong with me

I see it for what it is

There is nothing more I can do right now

This is all I have left to give

My honesty shows the truth

I have never wanted to live

I am still here

Burning on the inside

Living in fear of the pain

What do you want from me

What is left for you to gain

You got what you wanted

Now leave me alone

Nyx

Finding strength

More than I ever have

I have to find the strength

I have to believe

That I can be better

That I can live my life some day

Without the pain I felt before

With every decision I make

With everything that I have left to give

I rise today for you

For those who are as lost as me

I rise again because I must

I have to open the door

So everyone can see

That everyone deserves a chance

To live their lives with happiness

Nyx