I feel my heart stop beating
I feel myself break in half
Why am I always left here
Alone in this place
How many demons must I conquer
To forget your face
You have destroyed
Only to recreate
It is too late to change
This monster that you made
I try to dream
I try to float away
Instead I scream
As I drown on the inside
Remembering all the lies
I try to live in this moment
But this moment does not last
What I would not give
To be able to erase the past
Nyx
I have moments of peace
They do not last long
Then I feel the pain
As I try to sing along
Sometimes words may help me
Sometimes they do not
All I know for sure
Is peace is all I have ever sought
No matter how much I have cried
No matter how much I have fought
I have yet to find it
Maybe someday I will
Maybe someday the earth will stay still
Just maybe I will find the one
To make me feel safe from it all
To protect me from harm
Maybe he will grab my hand
Before I hit the ground
At this moment I have no hope
All I do today is
Find the strength to go on
Find the strength to cope
This loneliness will stay
It must be my eternal debt to pay
I guess I just have to except it
This is just the way it is
I have lost all hope
That someday I will truly be his
Nyx
I feel numb
Lost to this world
I am fading
Fading into nothing
I no longer care
About anything at all
All I want to do is free fall
Free fall to nothing
Close my eyes
Feel the air
Pushing against my skin
I feel the darkness push me further
As I slowly disappear
Farther and farther I fall
Until I am merely mist in the air
Darkness pushes me down
He wants me to disappear
He wants me to hit the bottom
This is when peace will come
This is when I will go back
Back to where I come from
Nyx
To my readers,
This poem is how I have felt in the past, not today. Thank you all for your continued support. Peace and love. Nyx
Once again I feel my chest cave in
I feel my head ache
I long for an escape
I long for peace from this life
I long to escape today
Go somewhere far away
Sometimes I dream of being someone else
Ignorant to the world around me
I do not want to be aware of the things I see
I just want to feel no pain
I want to know that I am sane
But here I sit the same as before
In pain yearning for peace once more
Nyx
I feel my skin burn within
I feel my heart shatter
I cannot help but ask myself
Why does anything matter
I try to make it through each day
I try to hold my head high
I show a smile upon my face
A smile that isn’t real
All I want is peace from this life
I no longer want to feel
I wish that I was ignorant to everything
I wish that I was ignorant to everyone
I wish that I was dumb
What I wish for the most is
The ability to stay numb
To be lost to this world forever
To float away in the sky
To say, so long and farewell
Just to say goodbye
Nyx
I watch as the sun rises
I watch as the sun sets
I can not help but wonder
Is this as good as it gets
These moments here and there
These moments when I find my way
These moments when I write to you
When I show you the way
I wear my heart on the outside
I do not hide it within
This is why I am so damaged
Because we live in a world
Plagued by sin
This is when I feel the pain
When I think of all the loss
When I think of what they have gained
This is when I lose the hope
That my heart will stay full
That my true nature will remain
With everything I lose
With everything they gain
Some days I feel myself slip
Into something else
Into a creature fighting to live
Into a creature with nothing left to give
Sick and tired of the evil of man
Sick of fighting for everything that I am
It is so hard to keep hope in my heart
When everyone takes a strip
Tearing it apart
There are a few pieces left of me
Still out there for the world to see
My weakness is known
My honesty is shown
My layers of beauty hide the scars
They hide the peeled back strips
They hide the darkness
The darkness that is starting to show
I fear I will never stop fighting
I fear I will never stop feeling
These strips they just keep peeling
I fear one day there will be nothing left
I fear that even the shell of who I was
Will wither away and just be gone
I wonder at this moment
If my soul will let me move on
Nyx
At this moment all I yearn for is death
All I yearn for is peace
Peace from the darkness that haunts me
Peace from the pain
What I would not give for eternal rest
To not wake up tomorrow
To not have to pretend
To just say good bye to yesterday
And cease to exist today
All is do is float past you
In this shadow of forgotten dreams
Where cob webs have formed
And cracks run through the floor
The only thing that is solid is the tomb
This slab of concrete before me
Closing me in the dark
The air is pushed out of me
As the darkness blows out the light
At this moment my will is gone
Today I submit to my friend Darkness
He has come for me
I let him take my hand as we descend
Further away from the light
Darkness is my only friend tonight
Nyx
I feel my body weighed down
It is so hard to walk
It is so hard to breathe
This weight it crushes me
Weighs me down from the outside in
At this moment I feel nothing
I am just pushed down by it all
Gulping for air
With no cry for help
No way to swim
No way to shout
This is when I give in
As the sun rises
As the sun sets
Darkness stands beside me
Placing bets
Will she join me
Will she walk away
I look at him and see the agony in the dark
I let go of his hand
Not today darkness
Leave me where I stand
Nyx
No one will find me
No one will see
What I leave behind
When I am gone
No one will see
What is left of me
Nyx
