Once again I long for death
Devastated and broken
By what I have spoken
To someone who cared about me
Sometimes I wonder if the pain will rip me apart
Sometimes I wonder if the pain will stop my heart
What would I be
If I was not me
Darkness and pain
Fire and anger that spreads
Underneath my chest
Is that all that I am
This thing that should not have been
This thing that suffers in the dark
Please someone help me
Please just take me away
Dear God please just kill me today
Nyx
I kind of want to die again
It’s been a little while
It’s very hard to be alive right now
Its very hard to exist as myself in this current state that I am in
Should I do something
Should I help others in some way
Or have I already said
All there is to say
Nyx
Push him out
Let him in
Push him out
Let him in
Pain
Emptiness
More pain
I wish I could change
But I’ll probably just stay the same
I had a taste of my addiction
Now it’s gone
I just want to be dead
Nyx
Up and down
Down and up
Why can’t they stay the same
These emotions
That I just cannot contain
It is a form of torture
I wish on no one
I do not know how to stop them
They come and then they go
This is what happens when I stop moving
This is when it happens the most
All I can do is pray for peace
And pray that it will change
Nyx
The loneliness
It cripples me
People only care
To some degree
I see this when they walk away
Because they always leave
Today there is no light
Today I cannot see
There is only darkness
There is only pain
There are no roses
There is only rain
The agony is always there
When I let myself feel
When I let myself care
Nyx
I sit here numb
To everything around me
I feel the world cave in
As I look down at the water
I feel the apathy
As I make my choice
A choice I have made before
With every closing door
I take one last moment
To let myself feel the pain
It cuts so deep
I will never be the same
I look at the sky
Before I jump
Into the cold water below
This is where I belong
So this is where I go
When all is lost
I will take myself there
To Pandora’s box
Hoping for the darkness
Hoping for some peace
Hoping that this time
I do not come back
I just want the darkness
I just want to see the sky
I just want to see the sea
Then I want to die
Nyx
I feel my body as it starts to shut down
In this moment I have no hope
I find no ground
I fall into the darkness
Into the abyss of my mind
I no longer care
I have no sense of time
I no longer hope
I no longer fear
All I do is sit here
Falling further down
Until I find the water
And let myself drown
To my readers and the people who care about my posts,
When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret anything literally. I only say this, because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or where or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem, they are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day. Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing. I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems, I appreciate the hell out of you. Peace and Love, Nyx
Apathy is my friend
It is the only way I will survive
Disconnect or die
This is what I feel
I have known all along
That happiness isn’t real
Those moments of peace..
They never last
I am haunted by the present
I am haunted by the past
There is no escape
From the pain I feel inside
There is no escape from the memories
There is no escape from the lies
Everyone I have let in
Has thrown a brick at me
I feel myself as I sink
Below the beautiful sea
This is the only way
I will ever be free
Nyx
I die a little more inside
Every single day
What will be left of me
Once my body starts to decay
Who will stay beside me
Who will take my hand
As the bones turn into ash
As time trickles out like sand
As the pain subsides
As I start to let go
Will there be someone there
As I stare out the window
Or will I leave this world alone
Nyx
I see the bridge
So beautiful
So bright
It lights up the sky
On the darkest night
At my darkest hour
This is where I fall
Into Pandora’s box
There is no night
There is no day
This is where I rest
This is where I stay
Disclaimer
This is not a reflection of me, but a reflection of many who have suffered enough to take their own lives. Peace and love, Nyx
Words From The Borderline 
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