I feel so heavy
So weighed down
I feel the darkness
Rise above my head
Pulling me further
Filling me with dread
Maybe I will make it
Maybe I will not
Maybe I will find a way
To fix myself again
Maybe I will wake up
When all I want is sleep
Maybe I will pull the blade out
The one that’s in so deep
Maybe I will find a way
To be free
Nyx
Sometimes despair drags me down
Through this haze of memories
Through years of turmoil
My body sinks
Until it is anchored down
Then the rooms fills with water
As I lay chained to the ground
Once again I gulp for air
Until I can no longer breathe
This is when the emptiness comes
This is when my soul is gone
Nyx
I question everything
I question everyone
I don’t know where I am
I don’t know what I have done
I am lost right now
My steps have led me astray
I hope I find my way again today
Nyx
Hopeful for a moment
Then the pain hit
I cannot control these emotions
I wish that I could
I wish that someone
Really understood
How unbearable the pain is
I sit hear bleeding inside
Trying to hold on yet again
I am so tired my friends
I just want it to end
Nyx
I sit here and reflect upon my life
I question my emotions
I question my decisions
I question where I am
How did I get here
Where do I go
Back to the familiar pain
Or forward to something
That may be the same
I feel the panic as it rises
Unsure which way to place my foot
Where do you go
When you have been here before
What do you do
When hope leaves you
Nyx
I feel my heart stop beating
I feel myself break in half
Why am I always left here
Alone in this place
How many demons must I conquer
To forget your face
You have destroyed
Only to recreate
It is too late to change
This monster that you made
I try to dream
I try to float away
Instead I scream
As I drown on the inside
Remembering all the lies
I try to live in this moment
But this moment does not last
What I would not give
To be able to erase the past
Nyx
I have moments of peace
They do not last long
Then I feel the pain
As I try to sing along
Sometimes words may help me
Sometimes they do not
All I know for sure
Is peace is all I have ever sought
No matter how much I have cried
No matter how much I have fought
I have yet to find it
Maybe someday I will
Maybe someday the earth will stay still
Just maybe I will find the one
To make me feel safe from it all
To protect me from harm
Maybe he will grab my hand
Before I hit the ground
At this moment I have no hope
All I do today is
Find the strength to go on
Find the strength to cope
This loneliness will stay
It must be my eternal debt to pay
I guess I just have to except it
This is just the way it is
I have lost all hope
That someday I will truly be his
Nyx
I feel numb
Lost to this world
I am fading
Fading into nothing
I no longer care
About anything at all
All I want to do is free fall
Free fall to nothing
Close my eyes
Feel the air
Pushing against my skin
I feel the darkness push me further
As I slowly disappear
Farther and farther I fall
Until I am merely mist in the air
Darkness pushes me down
He wants me to disappear
He wants me to hit the bottom
This is when peace will come
This is when I will go back
Back to where I come from
Nyx
To my readers,
This poem is how I have felt in the past, not today. Thank you all for your continued support. Peace and love. Nyx
Once again I feel my chest cave in
I feel my head ache
I long for an escape
I long for peace from this life
I long to escape today
Go somewhere far away
Sometimes I dream of being someone else
Ignorant to the world around me
I do not want to be aware of the things I see
I just want to feel no pain
I want to know that I am sane
But here I sit the same as before
In pain yearning for peace once more
Nyx
I feel my skin burn within
I feel my heart shatter
I cannot help but ask myself
Why does anything matter
I try to make it through each day
I try to hold my head high
I show a smile upon my face
A smile that isn’t real
All I want is peace from this life
I no longer want to feel
I wish that I was ignorant to everything
I wish that I was ignorant to everyone
I wish that I was dumb
What I wish for the most is
The ability to stay numb
To be lost to this world forever
To float away in the sky
To say, so long and farewell
Just to say goodbye
Nyx
