To be free

I feel so heavy 

So weighed down

I feel the darkness 

Rise above my head 

Pulling me further 

Filling me with dread

Maybe I will make it

Maybe I will not

Maybe I will find a way 

To fix myself again 

Maybe I will wake up 

When all I want is sleep 

Maybe I will pull the blade out 

The one that’s in so deep 

Maybe I will find a way  

To be free 

Nyx

When my soul is gone 

Sometimes despair drags me down 

Through this haze of memories 

Through years of turmoil 

My body sinks 

Until it is anchored down 

Then the rooms fills with water 

As I lay chained to the ground 

Once again I gulp for air 

Until I can no longer breathe 

This is when the emptiness comes 

This is when my soul is gone 

Nyx

Lost 

I question everything 

I question everyone

I don’t know where I am 

I don’t know what I have done

I am lost right now 

My steps have led me astray 

I hope I find my way again today 

Nyx

Bleeding inside 

Hopeful for a moment 

Then the pain hit 

I cannot control these emotions 

I wish that I could 

I wish that someone 

Really understood 

How unbearable the pain is 

I sit hear bleeding inside 

Trying to hold on yet again 

I am so tired my friends

I just want it to end 

Nyx

When hope leaves you 

I sit here and reflect upon my life 

I question my emotions 

I question my decisions 

I question where I am 

How did I get here 

Where do I go 

Back to the familiar pain 

Or forward to something 

That may be the same 

I feel the panic as it rises 

Unsure which way to place my foot 

Where do you go 

When you have been here before 

What do you do 

When hope leaves you 

Nyx

This monster that you made

I feel my heart stop beating  

I feel myself break in half 

Why am I always left here 

Alone in this place 

How many demons must I conquer

To forget your face 

You have destroyed 

Only to recreate 

It is too late to change 

This monster that you made 

I try to dream 

I try to float away 

Instead I scream

As I drown on the inside

Remembering all the lies 

I try to live in this moment 

But this moment does not last 

What I would not give 

To be able to erase the past

Nyx 

I have lost all hope 

I have moments of peace 

They do not last long 

Then I feel the pain 

As I try to sing along 

Sometimes words may help me

Sometimes they do not 

All I know for sure 

Is peace is all I have ever sought 

No matter how much I have cried 

No matter how much I have fought 

I have yet to find it 

Maybe someday I will 

Maybe someday the earth will stay still 

Just maybe I will find the one 

To make me feel safe from it all

To protect me from harm 

Maybe he will grab my hand 

Before I hit the ground 

At this moment I have no hope 

All I do today is

Find the strength to go on 

Find the strength to cope 

This loneliness will stay 

It must be my eternal debt to pay 

I guess I just have to except it 

This is just the way it is 

I have lost all hope 

That someday I will truly be his 

Nyx

Lost to this world 

I feel numb 

Lost to this world

I am fading 

Fading into nothing 

I no longer care 

About anything at all

All I want to do is free fall 

Free fall to nothing 

Close my eyes 

Feel the air 

Pushing against my skin 

I feel the darkness push me further 

As I slowly disappear 

Farther and farther I fall 

Until I am merely mist in the air 

Darkness pushes me down 

He wants me to disappear 

He wants me to hit the bottom 

This is when peace will come 

This is when I will go back 

Back to where I come from

Nyx

To my readers,

This poem is how I have felt in the past, not today. Thank you all for your continued support. Peace and love. Nyx 

Yearning for peace

Once again I feel my chest cave in

I feel my head ache 

I long for an escape 

I long for peace from this life 

I long to escape today 

Go somewhere far away 

Sometimes I dream of being someone else 

Ignorant to the world around me 

I do not want to be aware of the things I see

I just want to feel no pain 

I want to know that I am sane 

But here I sit the same as before 

In pain yearning for peace once more 
Nyx

Float away 

I feel my skin burn within 

I feel my heart shatter 

I cannot help but ask myself 

Why does anything matter 

I try to make it through each day 

I try to hold my head high

I show a smile upon my face 

A smile that isn’t real 

All I want is peace from this life 

I no longer want to feel 

I wish that I was ignorant to everything 

I wish that I was ignorant to everyone 

I wish that I was dumb 

What I wish for the most is 

The ability to stay numb 

To be lost to this world forever 

To float away in the sky 

To say, so long and farewell 

Just to say goodbye 
Nyx