Up and down
Down and up
Why can’t they stay the same
These emotions
That I just cannot contain
It is a form of torture
I wish on no one
I do not know how to stop them
They come and then they go
This is what happens when I stop moving
This is when it happens the most
All I can do is pray for peace
And pray that it will change
Nyx
The loneliness
It cripples me
People only care
To some degree
I see this when they walk away
Because they always leave
Today there is no light
Today I cannot see
There is only darkness
There is only pain
There are no roses
There is only rain
The agony is always there
When I let myself feel
When I let myself care
Nyx
I sit here numb
To everything around me
I feel the world cave in
As I look down at the water
I feel the apathy
As I make my choice
A choice I have made before
With every closing door
I take one last moment
To let myself feel the pain
It cuts so deep
I will never be the same
I look at the sky
Before I jump
Into the cold water below
This is where I belong
So this is where I go
When all is lost
I will take myself there
To Pandora’s box
Hoping for the darkness
Hoping for some peace
Hoping that this time
I do not come back
I just want the darkness
I just want to see the sky
I just want to see the sea
Then I want to die
Nyx
I feel my body as it starts to shut down
In this moment I have no hope
I find no ground
I fall into the darkness
Into the abyss of my mind
I no longer care
I have no sense of time
I no longer hope
I no longer fear
All I do is sit here
Falling further down
Until I find the water
And let myself drown
To my readers and the people who care about my posts,
When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret anything literally. I only say this, because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or where or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem, they are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day. Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing. I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems, I appreciate the hell out of you. Peace and Love, Nyx
Apathy is my friend
It is the only way I will survive
Disconnect or die
This is what I feel
I have known all along
That happiness isn’t real
Those moments of peace..
They never last
I am haunted by the present
I am haunted by the past
There is no escape
From the pain I feel inside
There is no escape from the memories
There is no escape from the lies
Everyone I have let in
Has thrown a brick at me
I feel myself as I sink
Below the beautiful sea
This is the only way
I will ever be free
Nyx
I die a little more inside
Every single day
What will be left of me
Once my body starts to decay
Who will stay beside me
Who will take my hand
As the bones turn into ash
As time trickles out like sand
As the pain subsides
As I start to let go
Will there be someone there
As I stare out the window
Or will I leave this world alone
Nyx
I see the bridge
So beautiful
So bright
It lights up the sky
On the darkest night
At my darkest hour
This is where I fall
Into Pandora’s box
There is no night
There is no day
This is where I rest
This is where I stay
Disclaimer
This is not a reflection of me, but a reflection of many who have suffered enough to take their own lives. Peace and love, Nyx
My world has changed again
Trying to find my home
Feeling so alone
The air sweeps me off my feet
I feel defeated, I just want to sleep
Where do you go
When you no longer know
Where you belong
No one sees me
As I fade away
There is no one watching
There is no one left
Nyx
I watch as the skies fade into gray
I am so tired of fighting alone
This is just the way it has to be
Alone I wonder into the abyss
Darkness follows behind
Playing his role in kind
This I am ok with
Because I know
Darkness is part of my mind
There is no joy without despair
There is no light without darkness
There is no beginning without an end
So I take darkness, I grab his hand
Together we descend
Nyx
The heaviness wears me down
All I want is sleep
I fight through another day
Dreaming of an empire I will build
But I may not make it
Before my skin starts to decay
I may not make it
Before the lights fade
To the dimmest shade of grey
I try not to dream of tomorrow
I try not to dream of yesterday
But this leaves me with an emptiness inside
One that will not go away
I cannot fix these fractures
They have taken their own form and shape
They have sliced away my feelings
Until there is nothing left
Self-destructive thoughts
And the longing for the dark
This is what I see today
Yet, I have stood up
As I write these words to you
I just need the strength to stay awake
I just need the strength to find myself again
I just have to make it
I just have to stand
Nyx
