Today

I’ve been avoiding the sunlight

I’ve been avoiding my life

I am so tired of many things

Most of all I am tired of myself

Tired of the shame

Tired of the pain

Tired of existing as I am

What is the point of life

If I am unable to live it

Why give me so much love

And then make it so hard to give it

I have to find some hope

Because I have lost it again

The pain is so extreme

The pain is too much

There has to be a reason

There has to be a way

To pull myself away from this darkness

Once again today

Nyx

Dancing Together

I see us in a dream

Dancing around the room together

Smiles are all I see

Laughter is all I hear

In this haze that could be today

In this haze that could be tomorrow

Or from a different time and place

These memories flood me

That my soul could not erase

Of us dancing together

I believe we are more than this lifetime

You were always mine

Nyx

Reality

Some days I just want to sleep

It’s like I can no longer feel

There is no good

There is no bad

There is just this monotonous reality

Nyx

Content

Feeling content is a gift

A break from sadness and pain

I am grateful for this feeling

I appreciate the lack of pain

I accept this gift

Nyx

Will I find myself again

I wake up feeling this tension

It wraps around my heart

I wake up with good intention

But I feel this anxiety

It is there as soon as I wake

Can I get through this day

Without feeling my heart break

Can I get through this day

Feeling better at the end

Will I find myself again

Nyx

I do not walk alone

All this time I thought I was walking alone

I was wrong

There has always been a presence beside me

This presence that is trying to guide me

Guide me towards my purpose

Guide me towards peace

There is a purpose for this pain

I am reassured by this

In everything that I do

Sometimes I have to listen

Sometimes I have to see

Sometimes I have to feel

Sometimes it is just a thought

I always find the answer

I always find a way

Because my guide is beside me

Every single day

Nyx

Image source geckzilla on Flickr

A warrior with a voice

I feel pride in how far I have come

I have fell down more times than I can count

But I do get up eventually, and after every fall

I remember who I am now

What I have grown into

A warrior with a voice so loud and clear

That people listen now

A voice so loud and clear

That strength and passion flows through me

Maybe someday I will get to where I need to be

As long as I keep getting up I believe I will succeed

Nyx

Faith

Uncertainty ruled my thoughts today

But self reflection guided me

Onto a better path

It showed me what I needed to see

There is no certainty in the steps we take in life

But there is faith in a future that can be bright

Nyx

There is a way out of hell

Darkness has reminded me of the agony

That sadness brings

I will feel euphoria

Until it all comes crashing down

This is when I feel him near me

This is when he brings the pain

He is my reminder of who I used to be

He is my reminder of the torment I have felt

He is my reminder that everyone walked away

But today I fight him because I must

I have to remind myself

That I have always gotten back up

Every time I fell

I have to remind myself

That there is a way out of hell

Nyx

New challenges

Today I wake up to new challenges

I am reminded of the uncertainty

That each day brings

And with each day a new dawn rises

Giving me the chance to start again

Giving me the energy to push myself forward

Because I either rise or fall

That decision is mine to make

With every step I do or do not take

Today I am taking a step

Because that is what I choose to do

Nyx