When I take my last breath

/ Nyx

As the darkness consumes me

I lose all sight and hope

I can no longer see

What is behind, beside, or in front of me

It pulls me down deeper and deeper

Takes away my will to live

There is nothing I would not give

To not be me today

There is nothing I would not give

To have never lived at all

I am still alone

This I know is true

There is nothing that anyone can say

Nothing that anyone can do

That can truly bring me peace

I fear I will only find it

When my body can no longer take the pain

Burning in my chest

I fear I will only find it

When I take my last breath

To my readers and the people who care about my posts,

When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret this literally. I only say this, because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or where or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem, they are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day.  Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing, I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems I appreciate the hell out of you. 

Peace and Love,

Nyx

42 thoughts on “When I take my last breath”

  5. Ok, You hooked me!! With one poem and a disclaimer, where do I sign? Oh yeah, the follow button. Done! Loved your words and the journey of this poem. Really, loved your disclaimer!!! We will have to discuss licensing rights? LOL!

    Thanks for taking the time to visit my blog and “The One Who Always Loves Me”! It is really great to meet You!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. I know what you’re saying, I’ve found myself in the same situation of expressing myself in that way, tapping into certain thoughts, feelings and experiences without them representing where I am at that particular time. What I would say is that I’ve discovered it can be a fine line, there’s been times recently where I feel that my writing has stopped being cathartic and has almost helped to mire me in a head space that hasn’t been good for me. Like many things in life, it’s all about finding your balance I guess.

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  15. The ‘disclaimer’ is good, I think, Nyx, because people have thought that my stuff is personal/in the moment… sometimes it’s not!
    As for your poem: it’s personal, powerful, and I feel it deeply.
    Good stuff!

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    • That is not how it works for me – I’m sorry it just isn’t- an artist who paints leaves it there for people to see it how they want to. This is my expression my art. I do not want to explain the reason – the time- frame – I shouldn’t have to – it’s my self expression. Like a painting – it’s just in words

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      • You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do. Nor did I mean that you should do so. It seemed like you were going to some effort to make sure that this poem was recognized as a artistic expression and not a current life issue. I apologize for intruding.

        Liked by 1 person

      • So True! Silence is good sometimes too. Everyone is different, but for me I kind of like the “Back Story” of how things happened. I guess it’s the history buff in me. I had an American History Professor that was so popular you had to fight to get a seat in his classes because he made history so interesting. It was easy to know what was in the book, but he knew all of the whys and where-fors and how things came to be. Kind of like a novel. So, so and so shot someone. The real story is enhanced and more fully appreciated, “Sometimes”, by the prequel and how things got to where they are.

        I like to give credit to my “Inspirators”, the ones whose word or phrase was the seed of inspiration from which one of my poems grew. Different from the “boo who, who” poor me thing. Sometimes as wonderful as a poem can be it can’t explain the context from which it was born, what it was that touched your heart so much that you just had to write it?

        Or as you say a painting. Sometimes a poem is just a small part of the painting for that day or moment in time. Anyway, blah, blah blah! Sometimes Back Stories are touching and moving and can provide a thankfulness and insight too.

        Liked by 1 person

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