Finding strength

More than I ever have

I have to find the strength

I have to believe

That I can be better

That I can live my life some day

Without the pain I felt before

With every decision I make

With everything that I have left to give

I rise today for you

For those who are as lost as me

I rise again because I must

I have to open the door

So everyone can see

That everyone deserves a chance

To live their lives with happiness

Nyx

Death and comfort

You are dead to me

Because that’s the way it needs to be

Get the hell away from me

Before I make you hurt

You don’t want to feel the way that I do

Just get the hell away from me

That’s all I ask of you

Nyx

My home

Seconds pass into minutes

Minutes pass into hours

Hours pass into years

Will I ever really be ok

I have faced my fears

I have seen it all

There is nothing that anyone can do

To stop me today

Time is passing so quickly

Memories are fading away

What I have longed for

I have found

It is my place in this world

I am making my mark

I have been doused in water

But I still carry the spark

The will to save them

The others like me

I will let them see

That they are cared for

I will let them see

The strength I have inside of me

They have always been my home

They are my destiny

Nyx

This is not the end

I have lived a lonely life

Many have come and gone

But Jack my dear you stood out

With all your smiles and your cheer

You became my friend

Within moments of meeting me

It was your actions, not your words

That showed me who you are

A beautiful soul who embraces life

You have walked your own path

Giving me great respect for you

Dear Jack, I believe you are not gone

You live on in my heart

You will live on in each of us

As we walk toward our separate paths

To different places in the world

You gave us another story

About a soul that was so beautiful, so bold

I am grateful to know you

You have reminded me that I am strong

I will keep fighting for both of us

Rest in peace my friend

But this is not the end

Nyx

 

Drifting

I used to think that love was the only way

To lead me to my home

But now I feel myself drifting slowly

I do not feel the pull

I have found a way

To walk this world alone

I still feel tinges of the pain

The scars still tear away

And the blood still bleeds through

But I have found a way

To stop searching for you

Nyx

A place for us

Deep within my soul

I know there are pieces left

Parts that will one day make me whole

Someday you will see

That there is so much more to me

Then the girl who walked away

There is so much more to me

Than just one story to be told

One day when I walk the earth

There will be others behind me

I will show them the way

I will show them where there is land

A place for all of us

It exists inside my heart

It is the home of the forgotten

The ones who were once lost

The ones that thought they were dammed

All they needed was compassion

I give to all of you my hand

With all my love,

Nyx

I win

It’s all about beating them

That’s what keeps me going

I always win

My heart still beats in my chest

I feel the anger build

I will never let you destroy me

I raise my shield

I hold my sword

Come and get me

Nyx

Today I fight

Today I am fighting

The void within my soul

If I do not it will destroy me

Everything will fade away

No one else can save me

Because no one else can see

The abyss that is beneath me

The pain that pulls me down

I have to find away

I have to save myself today

Nyx

Born in sin

She walked the world alone

Fighting through the images

Flashing through her mind

Always with a smile

Always so kind

Underneath it all

She feels herself rotting from within

She is not from this world

She was born in sin

Yet she exists

And she will keep fighting

She will win

Nyx

Falling

I sit here and slip away

My body shuts down

I am lost

But I want to be found

I am reaching out for help today

It is like I am looking back

Yet here I am in the present

This haze of a person with no core self

Please someone help me

Please hold my hand

Please give me the strength

Please give me the foundation

To find the ground

To stop falling

To stand

Nyx

Disclaimer

I appreciate all of my friends here. Thank you for all your kind words, all your support. It means more to me than you could ever know. 💕