Shut it down

In the end I see

There will be no one beside me

I have to make myself believe

That I will be alright someday

That somehow I can make myself

Shut it down again

All the pain inside

I have to make it stop

Nyx

As I walk through the storm

He made me cry

Before I said goodbye 

There is no perfect mix 

No one who can see 

Who I really am 

Who I strive to be 

I exist and yet I do not 

All my life I have fought 

To find the balance that I need 

In order to push myself 

I need to believe 

That someday I will find 

The one thing that I need 

Someone beside me 

As I walk through the storm

Arms to embrace me 

When I need it the most

I will find you 

This I know is true 

I will not stop

Until I do 

Nyx

Which path

What do I want

Which path do I choose

How will I know

Whether I will win or lose

I fight but I do not know

Whether my feet will hit the ground

Will I stand

Or will I fall

Nyx

I want to find my home

My whole life I have suffered

When will it end

I am so tired

Of pretending I am ok

I sit here and cry

As another walks away

They come and they go

I throw them out of my life

It is never enough

I need more than they can give

I cannot breathe

As the pain grips my chest

The loneliness a reminder

Of a life lived alone

I just want to find some peace

I want to find my home

Nyx

A heart of stone

My heart has hardened

Like a ball of stone

It sits inside my chest

As it beats it cracks and crumbles

A little more each day

This is what I need

A heart covered in stone

I need to find myself

Before I can go home

Nyx

Is it all in my head ?

I feel the sadness as it starts to spread

Is there something wrong

Or is it all in my head

I do not know where I am going

All is feel is my world turning

In my chest I feel the pain

The ache that never goes away

I am lost beyond this world

Everyone goes

No one will stay

When I stop it hits me hard

Bruised and broken

Beaten and scarred

I have to shut it off

I have to leave this place

There is no solace here

I feel my heart

It begins to race

When I see that look

Upon your face

Nyx

Emptiness

As I get older

My heart grows colder

I try to accept things as they are

Knowing that I am stronger every day

As I continually search for something more

I try to be happy just being me

I want the world to see

The smile I spread on my face

But, on the inside all I feel

Is emptiness

Nyx

You are not alone

The best poets

Are the most tortured souls

At least that is what I believe

The ones who suffer everyday

Longing for the pain to subside

Hoping that someday they find away

To feel the peace they seek everyday

In the meantime just know

That I hope you find that love you need

That I hope that you will find a way

To smile and laugh and feel no pain

To know that there is more to life

Than this thing that we each

Continue to fight

I just hope that

We realize

That we can find each other

That we all embrace the unknown

Knowing that we are not alone

Nyx

I will not look back

The world it spins

Round and round I go

In a daze

I feel the pain

I will never be the same

I keep changing

As the leather gets thicker around me

It keeps me safe

I know longer long for anything

I know longer long for anyone

I am a warrior

Alone I walk this path

I know where I am going

I will not look back

Nyx

Everyday I will fight

I breathe in the air

Tell myself to let go

I try to will the anxiety away

I need to stay focused

I need to find my way

I can not give up

I will try again

To pull myself through

I need to find strength in myself

I need to find it deep inside

Because I have nothing left to fear

Because I have nothing to hide

I just have to keep breathing

Until I find the path again

Then I will walk forward

I will find the light

Every day I remember

Every day I will fight

Nyx