There is no cure

Today I wish I wasn’t me

Like I have so many days before

What I suffer from

There is no cure

As I lay here in the dark

I find comfort in my dreams

There is no pain there

I do not remember

Happiness lasting very long

No matter what I have done

No matter where I have gone

Nothing can replace what was taken from me

I cannot regrow my soul

I long for death

But darkness is not finished with me yet

I know now that I cannot be different

I was not made to feel joy or love

All I can do is hope that there is peace

From some shining light above

In the mean time

I am here

Laying in the dark

Feeling empty and broken

Because everyone is gone

Every part of me was stolen

I feel so alone

It is so hard to go on

I wish for death every single day

There is nothing that anyone can do

There is nothing that anyone can say

That will ever make me want to get up

That will make me believe anything today

Nyx

Why I exist

Today I felt it all

I shared my tale

Of heartbreak and pain

But I also told them

What it is I fight for

Why I am still here

I have a purpose in this life

That is why I have to live it

Even though I have fallen

Many times before

Even though I will fall again

This i am sure

I will always get back up

Because they need me here

They need someone who can stand up

And take away their fear

They need someone who understands

They need someone to listen

I will be what I need to be for them

That is why I exist

That is who I am

Nyx

Darkness and the night

Darkness will follow me

Wherever I go

When I am alone

This is when I know

I can feel it

He is coming

There he is as the light flickers out

He looks at me and shakes his head

Darling girl why are you still not dead

Haven’t you learned anything yet

This suffering and pain

I will never let you forget

I will make you feel it

Until you cannot breathe

As you gasp for air

I will bring you there

To the cycle of hell that is your life

Don’t you long for it to end

Come with me my dear

I can make it stop

You have nothing to fear

Just take my hand and we will go

Into the darkness of the night

I take his hand

There is nothing left for me here

Nothing left for me to know

As we walk I feel my heartbeat slow

I feel myself as I start to fade

Off together we both go

Me and the only friend I know

Nyx

Hunger

Every day is a fight

A struggle to control myself

I get these urges

They make me need things

This hunger it is so intense

This pain that will not leave

My body craves something

Something to make me feel ok

When will I regain control

When will I find a way

I feel so lonely with no one there

No one to ask me anything about my life

I feel so saddened by what I have done

Right now I am fighting to move on

I crave attention

I crave a release from the pain

I have always longed for death

This life is all I know

This continual free fall

The hunger just wont stop

What do you do

When your own mind is against you

Nyx

My world of darkness

I live in my own world of darkness

I do not see the light

I feel so alone

I feel so sad

I am still grieving over something

I never had

The sadness turns to pain

So similar than before

Except this time I feel less strength

It is hard to remember what I fight for

It hurts today

As I lay here in the dark

Wondering why I cannot be ok

With being alone again today

Nyx

Falling

Like a moth to a flame

I fear it will always be the same

I feel my skin as it burns

I watch the world as it turns

It fades from white to black

So quickly the flames grow

Consuming me completely

I have never felt pain so deeply

Then I let myself go

Falling further and further

Down below

Inside the ground

This is where my peace is found

Nyx

Grim Reaper

Once again there is a fork in the road

Do I follow the path of comfort

Or do I stray down the darker path

The one that brings me back

The one that starts the cycle

Of pain and the longing for death

So many faces of people who once were

I barely remember them now

They just became a part of the darkness

That beckons me back

It is the same darkness

He will always be there

The grim reaper of my soul

Reminding me I lost it long ago

Nyx

Soulless

I am a blank slate

I become what you want me to be

Then it unfolds as the emptiness spreads

Until there is no life in me

I am no one

I am everyone

I am what you want to see

Then I am gone

Nyx

This is not the end

I have lived a lonely life

Many have come and gone

But Jack my dear you stood out

With all your smiles and your cheer

You became my friend

Within moments of meeting me

It was your actions, not your words

That showed me who you are

A beautiful soul who embraces life

You have walked your own path

Giving me great respect for you

Dear Jack, I believe you are not gone

You live on in my heart

You will live on in each of us

As we walk toward our separate paths

To different places in the world

You gave us another story

About a soul that was so beautiful, so bold

I am grateful to know you

You have reminded me that I am strong

I will keep fighting for both of us

Rest in peace my friend

But this is not the end

Nyx

 

Drifting

I used to think that love was the only way

To lead me to my home

But now I feel myself drifting slowly

I do not feel the pull

I have found a way

To walk this world alone

I still feel tinges of the pain

The scars still tear away

And the blood still bleeds through

But I have found a way

To stop searching for you

Nyx