Destruction

Alone I sit

Trying to make myself numb

It is not working today

As I push another away

I feel the pain in my chest

I am attracted to destruction

In this attraction I feel no shame

It is only myself

That I have to blame

I am trying to remember something good

I just cannot do it today

Nyx

There is only rain

The loneliness

It cripples me

People only care

To some degree

I see this when they walk away

Because they always leave

Today there is no light

Today I cannot see

There is only darkness

There is only pain

There are no roses

There is only rain

The agony is always there

When I let myself feel

When I let myself care

Nyx

Lost

I do not know where I am going

My footsteps pound upon the ground

I have nothing to hold onto

I walk forward

There is no sound

No voice to lead the way

I just feel lost

I feel so lost today

Nyx

Is it all in my head ?

I feel the sadness as it starts to spread

Is there something wrong

Or is it all in my head

I do not know where I am going

All is feel is my world turning

In my chest I feel the pain

The ache that never goes away

I am lost beyond this world

Everyone goes

No one will stay

When I stop it hits me hard

Bruised and broken

Beaten and scarred

I have to shut it off

I have to leave this place

There is no solace here

I feel my heart

It begins to race

When I see that look

Upon your face

Nyx

Emptiness

As I get older

My heart grows colder

I try to accept things as they are

Knowing that I am stronger every day

As I continually search for something more

I try to be happy just being me

I want the world to see

The smile I spread on my face

But, on the inside all I feel

Is emptiness

Nyx

I will not look back

The world it spins

Round and round I go

In a daze

I feel the pain

I will never be the same

I keep changing

As the leather gets thicker around me

It keeps me safe

I know longer long for anything

I know longer long for anyone

I am a warrior

Alone I walk this path

I know where I am going

I will not look back

Nyx

In the end

And in the end 

I stand alone 

My skin is made of leather 

My heart is shielded in stone 

This is the way I must be 

Because they all betray me 

Nyx 

What I feel today

At this moment

The agony grips my chest

I woke with hope today

Then it went away

Why do I continue to breathe

Why do I stay

On the inside

I feel myself decay

I feel myself dying slowly

Every single day

I try to fight it

I try to smile

But sometimes I just can not do it anymore

I shield myself in darkness

Hoping for some peace

Only to find the agony

That never goes away

This is what I feel today

Nyx

Without sound

She stood there

Her hair floated in the breeze

The pain it gripped her

Brought her to her knees

She screamed but no one heard her

She stretched out her arms

But no one saw

The scars that were red and raw

The sorrow and the screams were ignored

It was easier to look away

Than to look upon this girl

So they continued forward

As she stayed behind

To suffer alone

She was left there

Inside her home of pain

She was left there

And everyday she drowned

She was lost

She was seen

But without sound

Nyx

The damned

I feel the grass beneath my fingers as I walk

I feel the breeze as it brushes my face

I see the beauty of the sky

It is so blue today

I listen to the birds

As they sing to each other

I think of the comfort they have

From one another

Yet all of it does not take the agony away

All I can do is take the comfort that it brings

Maybe someday it will bring me the peace that I seek

Maybe someday I will be content in this life

Until then I try to live as I am

I have no choice

I am one of the damned

Nyx