When the clouds turn dark and grey
All I want to do is fade away
Forget who I am
Forget who I was
And be someone else
Nyx
When the clouds turn dark and grey
All I want to do is fade away
Forget who I am
Forget who I was
And be someone else
Nyx
I walk this world a wanderer
Drifting from here to there
It is hard to believe I am still breathing
But here I am still wandering the land
Some days I wish I was not me
Somedays I wish I was gone
Today I sit here, still breathing
Always fighting through the pain
Always fighting to hold on
I will remain as I have always been
A wanderer running away from sin
Running away from my shame
There is no one here to blame
I left them when I drifted
Along this path in life
I had to let them go
I had to say goodbye
I will never stop moving
There is no home for me
Wandering here then moving forward
This is who I was meant to be
Nyx
Will I be alone forever
I fear I must accept my fate
The loneliness it grips me hard
The pain it rips me apart
Once again I wish I was gone
Maybe there is a place I belong
Right now as I cry in the dark
I care about nothing because I cannot
I cannot care because my whole life I have sought
The one thing I will never have
It is just not meant to be
I was meant to live this life alone
All I will ever have is me
Nyx
Today I wish I wasn’t me
Like I have so many days before
What I suffer from
There is no cure
As I lay here in the dark
I find comfort in my dreams
There is no pain there
I do not remember
Happiness lasting very long
No matter what I have done
No matter where I have gone
Nothing can replace what was taken from me
I cannot regrow my soul
I long for death
But darkness is not finished with me yet
I know now that I cannot be different
I was not made to feel joy or love
All I can do is hope that there is peace
From some shining light above
In the mean time
I am here
Laying in the dark
Feeling empty and broken
Because everyone is gone
Every part of me was stolen
I feel so alone
It is so hard to go on
I wish for death every single day
There is nothing that anyone can do
There is nothing that anyone can say
That will ever make me want to get up
That will make me believe anything today
Nyx
Darkness will follow me
Wherever I go
When I am alone
This is when I know
I can feel it
He is coming
There he is as the light flickers out
He looks at me and shakes his head
Darling girl why are you still not dead
Haven’t you learned anything yet
This suffering and pain
I will never let you forget
I will make you feel it
Until you cannot breathe
As you gasp for air
I will bring you there
To the cycle of hell that is your life
Don’t you long for it to end
Come with me my dear
I can make it stop
You have nothing to fear
Just take my hand and we will go
Into the darkness of the night
I take his hand
There is nothing left for me here
Nothing left for me to know
As we walk I feel my heartbeat slow
I feel myself as I start to fade
Off together we both go
Me and the only friend I know
Nyx
Once again there is a fork in the road
Do I follow the path of comfort
Or do I stray down the darker path
The one that brings me back
The one that starts the cycle
Of pain and the longing for death
So many faces of people who once were
I barely remember them now
They just became a part of the darkness
That beckons me back
It is the same darkness
He will always be there
The grim reaper of my soul
Reminding me I lost it long ago
Nyx
I have lived a lonely life
Many have come and gone
But Jack my dear you stood out
With all your smiles and your cheer
You became my friend
Within moments of meeting me
It was your actions, not your words
That showed me who you are
A beautiful soul who embraces life
You have walked your own path
Giving me great respect for you
Dear Jack, I believe you are not gone
You live on in my heart
You will live on in each of us
As we walk toward our separate paths
To different places in the world
You gave us another story
About a soul that was so beautiful, so bold
I am grateful to know you
You have reminded me that I am strong
I will keep fighting for both of us
Rest in peace my friend
But this is not the end
Nyx
Another day is passing
The sun begins to set
Here we go again
I lay out the cards
I place my bet
Darkness says to me
It’s a 50/50 chance
This will be your last dance
Nyx
And in the end I see
Clear blue skies in front of me
The peace has finally come
In my life you won
The suffering was great
My love turned to hate
I should be happy breathing
But this cannot be
Because you destroyed me
Nyx
There is no sunshine in the shade
The clouds are rolling in
Where does it end
When did it begin
Nyx