There are so many words that I have said
There are so many words that I have written
None of it really matters
When I am talking into the wind
When a face becomes a shadow
Where a person used to be
The words they are so hollow
No one ever really hears me
I am not a person
I am a just a thing
All I can do is hope
That my heart will beat someday
In the meantime, I sit here
I have nothing left to say
Nyx
Sitting in the dark
Crying again
Letting go of another person
Another strip of my heart is gone
The pain is so great
That I have to shut down
If I didn’t I would break completely
There is no coming back from this
There is no way to change it
I’m still here breathing
Enduring it all
I feel comfort in this time
I have found solitude
I have found solace in the darkness
It is where I belong
There is no human for me
There never will be
Nyx
I can have this hope
That someday I will write to you
And for longer than a few moments
A few precious hours I will not suffer
That hope dies a little more
Every single day
Today is another day
That a piece of me has been stripped away
Left to burn in the flames
Again all I feel right now is pain
Nyx
“Hello Darkness my old friend
It’s nice to see you again”
“My sweet girl why are you so restless?
Can’t find that peace you still seek?
Can’t find an ear to listen to the screams?
Well here I am my dear
I will listen as you scream in pain
Then I will take you with me
I will lay my claim
In the end it will be the same
This is how it must be
Some day soon you will see
It has always been me
I am your true friend
I will show you how your life will end
Take my hand my dear”
I take his hand
“I know darkness
You are always right
Once again you are my only friend tonight”
Together we descend
I feel that familiar ache
It grips my chest again
The sadness lingers
Never far from the surface
Sadness brings this feeling
No words can truly describe it
All my life I have fought
This feeling that I must endure
I have learned I must embrace it
There is no cure
Maybe someday this will change
Maybe it will end
I just have to face this feeling
Until then
This is how it must be
I see darkness creeping toward me
I am still here my friend
But please go away
I do not have the strength
To walk with you again today
Nyx
She suffers in ways
That no one can see
The agony gets swept aside
By the powder she spreads across her face
Covering the darkness
Covering the scars
There is no part left to be seen
She covers it all
Underneath the paint
Underneath the skin
The darkness hides the flame
The fire that keeps her alive
The anger makes her move
When all hope is lost
Everyday a piece is taken
Living her life at this high cost
Broken and bleeding
Mended here and there
How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere
Her pleas are unheard
Her tears are unseen
She will exist as she is
A plastered doll covered in paint and powder
Living in shame
I hear her as she screams louder
While she burns from within
Nyx
Imagine the worst pain you have ever felt
When your heart was broken
When you were broken
Imagine having that pain
Over and over again
Every single day
All due to the words of someone else
Whoever is filling the void
My unattractive sickness
Is that what you see
Welcome to my reality
Nyx
The sadness hits me
As soon as I close the door
I feel the hate for myself
More than anything else
The hate, the shame, and my hollow soul
Nyx
There it is again
That old familiar pain
Taking away another piece of me
What do you do
When all hope is gone
Where do you go
When there is nowhere left
There is nowhere I can feel peace for long
Nowhere that it does not hurt
Everything that is wrong with me
I see it for what it is
There is nothing more I can do right now
This is all I have left to give
My honesty shows the truth
I have never wanted to live
I am still here
Burning on the inside
Living in fear of the pain
What do you want from me
What is left for you to gain
You got what you wanted
Now leave me alone
Nyx
When the clouds turn dark and grey
All I want to do is fade away
Forget who I am
Forget who I was
And be someone else
Nyx
