In the end

And in the end 

I stand alone 

My skin is made of leather 

My heart is shielded in stone 

This is the way I must be 

Because they all betray me 

Nyx 

What I feel today

At this moment

The agony grips my chest

I woke with hope today

Then it went away

Why do I continue to breathe

Why do I stay

On the inside

I feel myself decay

I feel myself dying slowly

Every single day

I try to fight it

I try to smile

But sometimes I just can not do it anymore

I shield myself in darkness

Hoping for some peace

Only to find the agony

That never goes away

This is what I feel today

Nyx

Without sound

She stood there

Her hair floated in the breeze

The pain it gripped her

Brought her to her knees

She screamed but no one heard her

She stretched out her arms

But no one saw

The scars that were red and raw

The sorrow and the screams were ignored

It was easier to look away

Than to look upon this girl

So they continued forward

As she stayed behind

To suffer alone

She was left there

Inside her home of pain

She was left there

And everyday she drowned

She was lost

She was seen

But without sound

Nyx

The damned

I feel the grass beneath my fingers as I walk

I feel the breeze as it brushes my face

I see the beauty of the sky

It is so blue today

I listen to the birds

As they sing to each other

I think of the comfort they have

From one another

Yet all of it does not take the agony away

All I can do is take the comfort that it brings

Maybe someday it will bring me the peace that I seek

Maybe someday I will be content in this life

Until then I try to live as I am

I have no choice

I am one of the damned

Nyx

Loneliness is what I fear

The pain

It comes and goes

Hits me in waves

Sometimes it lasts for hours

Sometimes it lasts for days

Until I shut it down

It is often soothed

By the sound of someone else

Or the sound of music

Playing in my head

Sometimes when the pain is gone

All I feel is dread

Loneliness is what I fear

Night after night

Year after year

I do not want to be alone

I want to find my home

Nyx

Cold and still

I am lost

Dead inside

I am no one

I am nothing

I do not see the sun

I do not see the sky

I know longer feel the pain

Nothing is the same

My feet no longer move

I lay here cold and still

I have lost my will

Nyx

Inside the flame

All that was left of her

Were ashes in the breeze

She fell to her knees

But no one heard her cries

No one heard her pleas

She slowly burned away

The pain was too great

She could no longer stay

She told herself to let go

To let the fire blaze inside

Then she felt her heart slow

Amongst the fire

Inside the flame

She let herself die

Nyx

Broken

I am always reminded

Of the uncertainty in this life

Of the things that I have lost

Of the cruelty

Of the ones who look away

And the ones who do not stay

I am left a wanderer

Lost in this world

Yet driven to be more than what I am

Pushing myself every day to stand

Sometimes the pain grips me so hard

I feel myself slowly

Being torn apart

I try never to forget

What it is I fight for

I try not to forget

What it felt like

When I walked out the door

I no longer know who I am

I no longer know who I was before

I sit here broken

Longing for something I will never get

The pain it lingers

But it has not defeated me yet

Nyx

Loneliness

I ask myself why

I can not be alone

Why does the pain hit

When I sit here in silence

Why does it go away

Only when someone is near

This is what I fear

That this loneliness

Will consume me

That the pain will never leave

Why does it have to hurt so much

Why won’t it go away

Why do I have to fight this pain

Every single day

Nyx

No one

I feel the sadness

It is coming on

I do not know why

I do not know how to fix it

All I want to do is cry

I am not as strong

As I want to be

Because I can not live

Without someone beside me

This makes me weak

This person that I seek

I just want to be strong

I just want to move on

Alone with no one

Nyx