Still drifting

I walk this world a wanderer

Drifting from here to there

It is hard to believe I am still breathing

But here I am still wandering the land

Some days I wish I was not me

Somedays I wish I was gone

Today I sit here, still breathing

Always fighting through the pain

Always fighting to hold on

I will remain as I have always been

A wanderer running away from sin

Running away from my shame

There is no one here to blame

I left them when I drifted

Along this path in life

I had to let them go

I had to say goodbye

I will never stop moving

There is no home for me

Wandering here then moving forward

This is who I was meant to be

Nyx

Fate

Will I be alone forever

I fear I must accept my fate

The loneliness it grips me hard

The pain it rips me apart

Once again I wish I was gone

Maybe there is a place I belong

Right now as I cry in the dark

I care about nothing because I cannot

I cannot care because my whole life I have sought

The one thing I will never have

It is just not meant to be

I was meant to live this life alone

All I will ever have is me

Nyx

There is no cure

Today I wish I wasn’t me

Like I have so many days before

What I suffer from

There is no cure

As I lay here in the dark

I find comfort in my dreams

There is no pain there

I do not remember

Happiness lasting very long

No matter what I have done

No matter where I have gone

Nothing can replace what was taken from me

I cannot regrow my soul

I long for death

But darkness is not finished with me yet

I know now that I cannot be different

I was not made to feel joy or love

All I can do is hope that there is peace

From some shining light above

In the mean time

I am here

Laying in the dark

Feeling empty and broken

Because everyone is gone

Every part of me was stolen

I feel so alone

It is so hard to go on

I wish for death every single day

There is nothing that anyone can do

There is nothing that anyone can say

That will ever make me want to get up

That will make me believe anything today

Nyx

Darkness and the night

Darkness will follow me

Wherever I go

When I am alone

This is when I know

I can feel it

He is coming

There he is as the light flickers out

He looks at me and shakes his head

Darling girl why are you still not dead

Haven’t you learned anything yet

This suffering and pain

I will never let you forget

I will make you feel it

Until you cannot breathe

As you gasp for air

I will bring you there

To the cycle of hell that is your life

Don’t you long for it to end

Come with me my dear

I can make it stop

You have nothing to fear

Just take my hand and we will go

Into the darkness of the night

I take his hand

There is nothing left for me here

Nothing left for me to know

As we walk I feel my heartbeat slow

I feel myself as I start to fade

Off together we both go

Me and the only friend I know

Nyx

Grim Reaper

Once again there is a fork in the road

Do I follow the path of comfort

Or do I stray down the darker path

The one that brings me back

The one that starts the cycle

Of pain and the longing for death

So many faces of people who once were

I barely remember them now

They just became a part of the darkness

That beckons me back

It is the same darkness

He will always be there

The grim reaper of my soul

Reminding me I lost it long ago

Nyx

This is not the end

I have lived a lonely life

Many have come and gone

But Jack my dear you stood out

With all your smiles and your cheer

You became my friend

Within moments of meeting me

It was your actions, not your words

That showed me who you are

A beautiful soul who embraces life

You have walked your own path

Giving me great respect for you

Dear Jack, I believe you are not gone

You live on in my heart

You will live on in each of us

As we walk toward our separate paths

To different places in the world

You gave us another story

About a soul that was so beautiful, so bold

I am grateful to know you

You have reminded me that I am strong

I will keep fighting for both of us

Rest in peace my friend

But this is not the end

Nyx

 

In the end

And in the end I see

Clear blue skies in front of me

The peace has finally come

In my life you won

The suffering was great

My love turned to hate

I should be happy breathing

But this cannot be

Because you destroyed me

Nyx