Trapped in hell

I hear the gate slam

As I fall into the flames

All I feel is emptiness and pain

I lie in the darkness

No longer wanting to exist in this world

With the gate slammed shut

I find my resolve

I have accepted my fate

I can not save myself

From my own mind

I just want to feel the flames

For the last time

Nyx

Rise

Only from the ashes of who we were

Can we rise up to become who we were meant to be

Nyx

Addictions

Push him out

Let him in

Push him out

Let him in

Pain

Emptiness

More pain

I wish I could change

But I’ll probably just stay the same

I had a taste of my addiction

Now it’s gone

I just want to be dead

Nyx

Tick tock

I hear the tick

Of each moment in time

It comforts me

I know that with each tick I come closer to my end

I can’t wait for that last tick

Tick tock

Nyx

Alien

I feel empty

Alone and guarded

Tired of the pain

The others always bring

I often feel

That I am an alien in this world

That I will never really belong here

My smile

My words

I fool you all

I have never been human

I am something else

And I am still here

Every day I wake

Indifferent to each breath I take

Maybe someday the emptiness will fill

Until then here I am

An alien that walks on land

Nyx

Solace in the dark

Sitting in the dark

Crying again

Letting go of another person

Another strip of my heart is gone

The pain is so great

That I have to shut down

If I didn’t I would break completely

There is no coming back from this

There is no way to change it

I’m still here breathing

Enduring it all

I feel comfort in this time

I have found solitude

I have found solace in the darkness

It is where I belong

There is no human for me

There never will be

Nyx

False hope

I can have this hope

That someday I will write to you

And for longer than a few moments

A few precious hours I will not suffer

That hope dies a little more

Every single day

Today is another day

That a piece of me has been stripped away

Left to burn in the flames

Again all I feel right now is pain

Nyx

 

Covered in paint and powder

She suffers in ways

That no one can see

The agony gets swept aside

By the powder she spreads across her face

Covering the darkness

Covering the scars

There is no part left to be seen

She covers it all

Underneath the paint

Underneath the skin

The darkness hides the flame

The fire that keeps her alive

The anger makes her move

When all hope is lost

Everyday a piece is taken

Living her life at this high cost

Broken and bleeding

Mended here and there

How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere

Her pleas are unheard

Her tears are unseen

She will exist as she is

A plastered doll covered in paint and powder

Living in shame

I hear her as she screams louder

While she burns from within

Nyx

Burning

There it is again

That old familiar pain

Taking away another piece of me

What do you do

When all hope is gone

Where do you go

When there is nowhere left

There is nowhere I can feel peace for long

Nowhere that it does not hurt

Everything that is wrong with me

I see it for what it is

There is nothing more I can do right now

This is all I have left to give

My honesty shows the truth

I have never wanted to live

I am still here

Burning on the inside

Living in fear of the pain

What do you want from me

What is left for you to gain

You got what you wanted

Now leave me alone

Nyx