Self hate and loathing is all I feel
Self hate and loathing is all I feel
agony
Trapped in hell
I hear the gate slam
As I fall into the flames
All I feel is emptiness and pain
I lie in the darkness
No longer wanting to exist in this world
With the gate slammed shut
I find my resolve
I have accepted my fate
I can not save myself
From my own mind
I just want to feel the flames
For the last time
Nyx
Rise
Only from the ashes of who we were
Can we rise up to become who we were meant to be
Nyx
Addictions
Push him out
Let him in
Push him out
Let him in
Pain
Emptiness
More pain
I wish I could change
but I’ll probably just stay the same
I had a taste of my addiction
Now it’s gone
I just want to be dead
Nyx
Tick tock
I hear the tick
Of each moment in time
It comforts me
I know that with each tick I come closer to my end
I can’t wait for that last tick
Tick tock
Nyx
Bang
There’s the pain
If I go out
It will be with a bang
Nyx
Alien
I feel empty
Alone and guarded
Tired of the pain
The others always bring
I often feel
That I am an alien in this world
That I will never really belong here
My smile
My words
I fool you all
I have never been human
I am something else
And I am still here
Every day I wake
Indifferent to each breath I take
Maybe someday the emptiness will fill
Until then here I am
An alien that walks on land
Nyx
Solace in the dark
Sitting in the dark
Crying again
Letting go of another person
Another strip of my heart is gone
The pain is so great
That I have to shut down
If I didn’t I would break completely
There is no coming back from this
There is no way to change it
I’m still here breathing
Enduring it all
I feel comfort in this time
I have found solitude
I have found solace in the darkness
It is where I belong
There is no human for me
There never will be
Nyx
False hope
I can have this hope
That someday I will write to you
And for longer than a few moments
A few precious hours I will not suffer
That hope dies a little more
Every single day
Today is another day
That a piece of me has been stripped away
Left to burn in the flames
Again all I feel right now is pain
Nyx
Covered in paint and powder
She suffers in ways
That no one can see
The agony gets swept aside
By the powder she spreads across her face
Covering the darkness
Covering the scars
There is no part left to be seen
She covers it all
Underneath the paint
Underneath the skin
The darkness hides the flame
The fire that keeps her alive
The anger makes her move
When all hope is lost
Everyday a piece is taken
Living her life at this high cost
Broken and bleeding
Mended here and there
How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere
Her pleas are unheard
Her tears are unseen
She will exist as she is
A plastered doll covered in paint and powder
Living in shame
I hear her as she screams louder
While she burns from within
Nyx
