Which path

What do I want

Which path do I choose

How will I know

Whether I will win or lose

I fight but I do not know

Whether my feet will hit the ground

Will I stand

Or will I fall

Nyx

A heart of stone

My heart has hardened

Like a ball of stone

It sits inside my chest

As it beats it cracks and crumbles

A little more each day

This is what I need

A heart covered in stone

I need to find myself

Before I can go home

Nyx

Apathy

My heart pounds in my chest

Will I ever rest

Or will I continue to wander

Lost without a home

As people come and go

I feel so alone

All I can see

Are forks in the road ahead of me

All I can feel

Is complete apathy

I have no remorse

For the decisions I have made

I do not walk in the sun

I linger in the shade

This is who I am

Who I will forever be

This is what is left of me

Nyx

Today

Today I question

Everything and everyone

Who am I

Who have I become

I feel so weary

As the anxiety

Brings me down

I feel so lost

I do not want to be found

I do not want to be consumed

By the pain that loneliness brings

By the fire that burns in my chest

I just want peace

I just want to rest

Nyx

Loneliness is what I fear

The pain

It comes and goes

Hits me in waves

Sometimes it lasts for hours

Sometimes it lasts for days

Until I shut it down

It is often soothed

By the sound of someone else

Or the sound of music

Playing in my head

Sometimes when the pain is gone

All I feel is dread

Loneliness is what I fear

Night after night

Year after year

I do not want to be alone

I want to find my home

Nyx

Hope

In my mind I see

No clear path before me

I push forward

Every day

Hoping I will find the way

Hoping that the emptiness will subside

Hoping that the pain will stop

I try to live in each moment

With hope in my heart

That I will find the peace I seek

That I will find my home

Nyx

What is Love

Love is something

I do not know

Does it linger

Does it grow

Is it fleeting

Or does it remain

Is it only there

When someone has something to gain

I do not understand this emotion

All I feel is pain

Nyx

My heart a broken stone

And another walks away

Like so many have before

That is just what they do

Before I feel the knife slam through

The loneliness and the pain

It always feels the same

Who have I become

I exist and yet

I am no one

I walk this world alone

My heart a broken stone

The cracks they chip away

A little more each day

This is the way it must be

Until there is nothing left of me

Nyx

Move on

I feel the tall grass between my fingers

As I walk along the path

My heartache lingers

As I realize I can never turn back

I see the stream as it flows forward

Centering myself today

I have to live in the moment

I have to keep myself calm

It is the only way

That I can move on

Nyx