The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. Marcel Proust
thoughts
This monster that you made
I feel my heart stop beating
I feel myself break in half
Why am I always left here
Alone in this place
How many demons must I conquer
To forget your face
You have destroyed
Only to recreate
It is too late to change
This monster that you made
I try to dream
I try to float away
Instead I scream
As I drown on the inside
Remembering all the lies
I try to live in this moment
But this moment does not last
What I would not give
To be able to erase the past
Nyx
What will come next
Today I wake
Weary with dread
Wondering
What will come next
Nyx
The tide
I try to push the feeling away
But as the panic rises
I have no control
It bursts through me like a tidal wave
There is nothing I can do today
The tide has blown me away
Nyx
Drifting
Underneath the lamplight
I lay my weary head
Thinking I might be safer
But still wishing I was dead
A drifter is what I was
I guess I still am
Drifting from here to there
Going no where
Stepping forward
Then stepping back
Waiting for the next swing
Bracing myself for the next hit
Wondering when I will lose it
Nyx
Not sorry
“I am not sorry for what I had to become in order to survive.” Schuyler Peck
Believe in you
There are moments when I lose hope in everyone
Then I realize that I do not need them
The only thing I need
Is to believe in me
Nyx
Never slowing down
As my world spins and spins around me
My thoughts a shattered mess
I stop to think to myself
When is the next test
Waiting for the next battle
Never resting
Never slowing down
Feeling chained and completely bound
I only feel peace
When I listen to the sound
The music soothes my ranting mind
When I am chained and completely bound
By everything that crashes through my head
When I think to myself I’d be better off dead
When I want to be surrounded by nothing
I find the one thing that makes me feel human
The one thing that is always there
Peace is what I find
When music soothes my mind
Nyx
All that is left of me
When he looks at me I see
Nothing but love looking back at me
Nothing in this life is certain
As I fight this continuous storm
What I do know is that he stays by my side
In this battle he meets my stride
Whether he is near or far away
I know he will fight for me
He is the only one who can see
All that is left of me
Nyx
Another dawn
I climb out of the dark
Just to be pulled back in
Another day has dawned
Let the games begin
