What do I want
Which path do I choose
How will I know
Whether I will win or lose
I fight but I do not know
Whether my feet will hit the ground
Will I stand
Or will I fall
Nyx
thoughts
A heart of stone
My heart has hardened
Like a ball of stone
It sits inside my chest
As it beats it cracks and crumbles
A little more each day
This is what I need
A heart covered in stone
I need to find myself
Before I can go home
Nyx
Apathy
My heart pounds in my chest
Will I ever rest
Or will I continue to wander
Lost without a home
As people come and go
I feel so alone
All I can see
Are forks in the road ahead of me
All I can feel
Is complete apathy
I have no remorse
For the decisions I have made
I do not walk in the sun
I linger in the shade
This is who I am
Who I will forever be
This is what is left of me
Nyx
Today
Today I question
Everything and everyone
Who am I
Who have I become
I feel so weary
As the anxiety
Brings me down
I feel so lost
I do not want to be found
I do not want to be consumed
By the pain that loneliness brings
By the fire that burns in my chest
I just want peace
I just want to rest
Nyx
Loneliness is what I fear
The pain
It comes and goes
Hits me in waves
Sometimes it lasts for hours
Sometimes it lasts for days
Until I shut it down
It is often soothed
By the sound of someone else
Or the sound of music
Playing in my head
Sometimes when the pain is gone
All I feel is dread
Loneliness is what I fear
Night after night
Year after year
I do not want to be alone
I want to find my home
Nyx
Truth
There is nothing you can not accomplish
When you have nothing to lose
Nyx
Hope
In my mind I see
No clear path before me
I push forward
Every day
Hoping I will find the way
Hoping that the emptiness will subside
Hoping that the pain will stop
I try to live in each moment
With hope in my heart
That I will find the peace I seek
That I will find my home
Nyx
What is Love
Love is something
I do not know
Does it linger
Does it grow
Is it fleeting
Or does it remain
Is it only there
When someone has something to gain
I do not understand this emotion
All I feel is pain
Nyx
My heart a broken stone
And another walks away
Like so many have before
That is just what they do
Before I feel the knife slam through
The loneliness and the pain
It always feels the same
Who have I become
I exist and yet
I am no one
I walk this world alone
My heart a broken stone
The cracks they chip away
A little more each day
This is the way it must be
Until there is nothing left of me
Nyx
Move on
I feel the tall grass between my fingers
As I walk along the path
My heartache lingers
As I realize I can never turn back
I see the stream as it flows forward
Centering myself today
I have to live in the moment
I have to keep myself calm
It is the only way
That I can move on
Nyx
