The pain
It comes and goes
Hits me in waves
Sometimes it lasts for hours
Sometimes it lasts for days
Until I shut it down
It is often soothed
By the sound of someone else
Or the sound of music
Playing in my head
Sometimes when the pain is gone
All I feel is dread
Loneliness is what I fear
Night after night
Year after year
I do not want to be alone
I want to find my home
Nyx
There is nothing you can not accomplish
When you have nothing to lose
Nyx
In my mind I see
No clear path before me
I push forward
Every day
Hoping I will find the way
Hoping that the emptiness will subside
Hoping that the pain will stop
I try to live in each moment
With hope in my heart
That I will find the peace I seek
That I will find my home
Nyx
Love is something
I do not know
Does it linger
Does it grow
Is it fleeting
Or does it remain
Is it only there
When someone has something to gain
I do not understand this emotion
All I feel is pain
Nyx
And another walks away
Like so many have before
That is just what they do
Before I feel the knife slam through
The loneliness and the pain
It always feels the same
Who have I become
I exist and yet
I am no one
I walk this world alone
My heart a broken stone
The cracks they chip away
A little more each day
This is the way it must be
Until there is nothing left of me
Nyx
I feel the tall grass between my fingers
As I walk along the path
My heartache lingers
As I realize I can never turn back
I see the stream as it flows forward
Centering myself today
I have to live in the moment
I have to keep myself calm
It is the only way
That I can move on
Nyx
As another door closes
I look out to the sea
What am I looking for
What will set me free
Nyx
The path before me
Filled with branches and thorns
I had to step away
I see a new path ahead
Let’s see where it leads today
Nyx
I am sitting here
Alone again
Silent and still
I wish I could say
That I am fine
But I would only be lying
Let them sleep
As I bury the pain again
Let the apathy set it
So I can wake up again tomorrow
I feel the emptiness fill me
As I listen to the sounds of the night
As I embrace the serenity of the darkness
And find comfort in the stars
In a few hours a new day will start
Once again I am reminded
What being alone means
I am lost in my own world
Where hope lies within my dreams
Nyx
I feel my chest start pounding
But I can not control it
The anxiety is growing
There is nothing I can do
This is the side effect
Reminding me of what I went through
I can not change
What I have done
I can not change the past
All I can do is keep moving
All I can do is keep fighting
Until I have won
Nyx
