Lost in the dark 

I am lost in the dark 

Running so far 

It’s never fast enough 

To forget what I have seen 

Never fast enough 

To forget who I thought you were 

I thought that I would be true to you 

No matter what you do 

I was wrong 

Nyx 

 

To be free

I feel so heavy 

So weighed down

I feel the darkness 

Rise above my head 

Pulling me further 

Filling me with dread

Maybe I will make it

Maybe I will not

Maybe I will find a way 

To fix myself again 

Maybe I will wake up 

When all I want is sleep 

Maybe I will pull the blade out 

The one that’s in so deep 

Maybe I will find a way  

To be free 

Nyx

Within my dream

I see what he has done 

I see the grass that has grown brown 

I see the trees wither and die around me

I see the sky fade into grey 

I walk away from the dark  

With every tear I shed 

With every sting that this nightmare brings 

I push forward 

And as I go 

I will my heartbeat to slow 

I will my sorrow away 

I take a seed and plant it 

With my love I know it will grow 

Someday I will see the trees again 

Someday I will see the green 

Someday the sky will shine with color 

Beauty will not be forgotten 

It will be seen 

I will live my life again 

I will live within my dream 

Nyx

The clouds are closing in

Trying to push through today

But the clouds are closing in

They are there to remind me

That darkness hovers

It still exists within

Just beyond my currents thoughts

The darkness seeps through

I feel the pain as it starts to burn

Then I close my eyes and see

All the things I have seen before

And what is in front of me

The path is still there

It breaks off here again

Asking me if I want to go back

To my land of pretend

Nyx

When my soul is gone 

Sometimes despair drags me down 

Through this haze of memories 

Through years of turmoil 

My body sinks 

Until it is anchored down 

Then the rooms fills with water 

As I lay chained to the ground 

Once again I gulp for air 

Until I can no longer breathe 

This is when the emptiness comes 

This is when my soul is gone 

Nyx

Ripped apart

Live and learn they say 

Why do we have to learn

By being ripped apart

Where does the pain end 

When does this learning start 

I do not believe these words are true 

Each piece that is pulled from me 

Is another piece gone 

I was always this strong 

What I have learned is how not to fear 

But this was after being beat down 

Year after year 

Losing everything 

Again and again 

Falling further and faster 

With no where to land 

Being pushed down

Until I could not stand 

Having my head pushed under 

Until I was swallowing water 

This has made me fearless 

A monster you see 

Do you think I would be someone else

If this did not happen to me 

No I would still be me 

Nyx

Lost 

I question everything 

I question everyone

I don’t know where I am 

I don’t know what I have done

I am lost right now 

My steps have led me astray 

I hope I find my way again today 

Nyx

This monster that you made

I feel my heart stop beating  

I feel myself break in half 

Why am I always left here 

Alone in this place 

How many demons must I conquer

To forget your face 

You have destroyed 

Only to recreate 

It is too late to change 

This monster that you made 

I try to dream 

I try to float away 

Instead I scream

As I drown on the inside

Remembering all the lies 

I try to live in this moment 

But this moment does not last 

What I would not give 

To be able to erase the past

Nyx 

Lost to this world 

I feel numb 

Lost to this world

I am fading 

Fading into nothing 

I no longer care 

About anything at all

All I want to do is free fall 

Free fall to nothing 

Close my eyes 

Feel the air 

Pushing against my skin 

I feel the darkness push me further 

As I slowly disappear 

Farther and farther I fall 

Until I am merely mist in the air 

Darkness pushes me down 

He wants me to disappear 

He wants me to hit the bottom 

This is when peace will come 

This is when I will go back 

Back to where I come from

Nyx

To my readers,

This poem is how I have felt in the past, not today. Thank you all for your continued support. Peace and love. Nyx 

Drifting 

Underneath the lamplight

I lay my weary head

Thinking I might be safer

But still wishing I was dead

A drifter is what I was

I guess I still am

Drifting from here to there

Going no where

Stepping forward

Then stepping back

Waiting for the next swing

Bracing myself for the next hit

Wondering when I will lose it

Nyx