More than I ever have
I have to find the strength
I have to believe
That I can be better
That I can live my life some day
Without the pain I felt before
With every decision I make
With everything that I have left to give
I rise today for you
For those who are as lost as me
I rise again because I must
I have to open the door
So everyone can see
That everyone deserves a chance
To live their lives with happiness
Nyx
I walk this world a wanderer
Drifting from here to there
It is hard to believe I am still breathing
But here I am still wandering the land
Some days I wish I was not me
Somedays I wish I was gone
Today I sit here, still breathing
Always fighting through the pain
Always fighting to hold on
I will remain as I have always been
A wanderer running away from sin
Running away from my shame
There is no one here to blame
I left them when I drifted
Along this path in life
I had to let them go
I had to say goodbye
I will never stop moving
There is no home for me
Wandering here then moving forward
This is who I was meant to be
Nyx
Seconds pass into minutes
Minutes pass into hours
Hours pass into years
Will I ever really be ok
I have faced my fears
I have seen it all
There is nothing that anyone can do
To stop me today
Time is passing so quickly
Memories are fading away
What I have longed for
I have found
It is my place in this world
I am making my mark
I have been doused in water
But I still carry the spark
The will to save them
The others like me
I will let them see
That they are cared for
I will let them see
The strength I have inside of me
They have always been my home
They are my destiny
Nyx
Today I felt it all
I shared my tale
Of heartbreak and pain
But I also told them
What it is I fight for
Why I am still here
I have a purpose in this life
That is why I have to live it
Even though I have fallen
Many times before
Even though I will fall again
This i am sure
I will always get back up
Because they need me here
They need someone who can stand up
And take away their fear
They need someone who understands
They need someone to listen
I will be what I need to be for them
That is why I exist
That is who I am
Nyx
I have lived a lonely life
Many have come and gone
But Jack my dear you stood out
With all your smiles and your cheer
You became my friend
Within moments of meeting me
It was your actions, not your words
That showed me who you are
A beautiful soul who embraces life
You have walked your own path
Giving me great respect for you
Dear Jack, I believe you are not gone
You live on in my heart
You will live on in each of us
As we walk toward our separate paths
To different places in the world
You gave us another story
About a soul that was so beautiful, so bold
I am grateful to know you
You have reminded me that I am strong
I will keep fighting for both of us
Rest in peace my friend
But this is not the end
Nyx
I used to think that love was the only way
To lead me to my home
But now I feel myself drifting slowly
I do not feel the pull
I have found a way
To walk this world alone
I still feel tinges of the pain
The scars still tear away
And the blood still bleeds through
But I have found a way
To stop searching for you
Nyx
If I die today
That will be okay
Because I know longer care
Who I ever was
What I ever did
I live my life because
I must
And today I am free
Nyx
Today I rise with hope
Hoping things will stay this way
Hoping that this time
I will have a hand to hold
There is so much more to me
Then one story to be told
There are many layers
Many scars beneath my skin
If you want to know who I am
The story starts within
I am shaped from betrayal
Pain and many lies
Shaped by those who have come and gone
With no need for goodbyes
If you look at me
I will show you what lies beneath
But only if you take my hand
And wander with me today
Only if you take my hand
And accept me as I am
Broken but still breathing
Mended here and there
I have dreams that keep me going
When it hurts I take myself there
To another place and time
That exists inside my mind
Come with me and you will see
All that is left of me
Nyx
Deep within my soul
I know there are pieces left
Parts that will one day make me whole
Someday you will see
That there is so much more to me
Then the girl who walked away
There is so much more to me
Than just one story to be told
One day when I walk the earth
There will be others behind me
I will show them the way
I will show them where there is land
A place for all of us
It exists inside my heart
It is the home of the forgotten
The ones who were once lost
The ones that thought they were dammed
All they needed was compassion
I give to all of you my hand
With all my love,
Nyx
It’s all about beating them
That’s what keeps me going
I always win
My heart still beats in my chest
I feel the anger build
I will never let you destroy me
I raise my shield
I hold my sword
Come and get me
Nyx
