The changing season

As the leaves fall around me

I see the beauty in the changing season

Sometimes there is no need to reason

Everything that people do

I try to remember that when I feel pain

I have to look inside myself again

Find the inner beauty of who I am

As I find the ground

I need to walk on again

Nyx

A new path

The path before me

Filled with branches and thorns

I had to step away

I see a new path ahead

Let’s see where it leads today

Nyx

 

Still as stone

I stand alone in the valley

Still as stone I wait

I hear the footsteps

I know it is too late

I brace myself

Listening as he comes closer

I am ready

Nyx

Hope lies within my dreams 

I am sitting here 

Alone again 

Silent and still 

I wish I could say 

That I am fine 

But I would only be lying 

Let them sleep 

As I bury the pain again

Let the apathy set it 

So I can wake up again tomorrow 

I feel the emptiness fill me 

As I listen to the sounds of the night 

As I embrace the serenity of the darkness 

And find comfort in the stars 

In a few hours a new day will start 

Once again I am reminded 

What being alone means 

I am lost in my own world 

Where hope lies within my dreams 

Nyx 

Side effects 

I feel my chest start pounding

But I can not control it 

The anxiety is growing 

There is nothing I can do 

This is the side effect 

Reminding me of what I went through 

I can not change 

What I have done 

I can not change the past 

All I can do is keep moving 

All I can do is keep fighting 

Until I have won 

Nyx

Hold on 

How did I get here 

My world has changed 

Right before my eyes 

One decision 

One step forward 

And once again 

My life before is gone 

In a blink that reality 

No longer exists 

In this moment my world is foreign 

I do not know where I am 

I do not know where I am going 

All I can do is 

Hold onto what is left of me 

And hope that this is the anchor 

To keep me alive 

Nyx

Never again 

I feel the pain 

As I grow weary again 

There are some things 

I will never understand 

All I know for sure 

Is that I will never be controlled again 

Nyx

With the rising sun

Sometimes I see flashes 

Memories from before 

I see where I have been 

I see what I have done 

I do not want to see 

These things that haunt me 

All I want is peace 

I want to breathe again 

Hopefully I will find it soon

Before I lose the light from the moon 

I just need to find the way 

Before the moon is gone 

Before the morning comes 

With the rising sun 

Nyx

Resilience 

I walk forward 

Not looking back

Trusting in my instincts 

Finding my resolve 

Every day I fight 

Every day I see 

The resilience that is there 

Built up inside of me 

There is no certainty 

In this life 

This I know is true 

The only thing I do know 

Is that you have to believe in you

Nyx

For the ashes of what once was 

As I walk through the trees 

I feel the breeze 

It is all I have to calm me 

In this moment as I grieve 

For the wishes and dreams I did not receive 

For the ashes of what once was 

For the memories that you gave me 

For the days that I have wept 

For something that was never real

There is no one that can save me 

From the fall that has begun 

There is no one that can reverse 

All the damage you have done 

As the anger subsides 

I find my resolve 

You are just another puzzle 

I was meant to solve 

Nyx