I kind of want to die again
It’s been a little while
It’s very hard to be alive right now
Its very hard to exist as myself in this current state that I am in
Should I do something
Should I help others in some way
Or have I already said
All there is to say
Nyx
I had to let you go again
Blood of my blood
Torn from me you will always be
By no fault of yours
Just the choice to love one of the destroyers of my life
A destroyer I will never forgive
A monster only I can see
Who cradles you in her arms
Nyx
I hear the gate slam
As I fall into the flames
All I feel is emptiness and pain
I lie in the darkness
No longer wanting to exist in this world
With the gate slammed shut
I find my resolve
I have accepted my fate
I can not save myself
From my own mind
I just want to feel the flames
For the last time
Nyx
Push him out
Let him in
Push him out
Let him in
Pain
Emptiness
More pain
I wish I could change
But I’ll probably just stay the same
I had a taste of my addiction
Now it’s gone
I just want to be dead
Nyx
I long for the darkness to take me there
Away from this life
I can no longer care
About what exists outside these walls
All I want right now is to never wake up
Darkness please come
Darkness please take me away
I give up
You have won today
Nyx
I feel empty
Alone and guarded
Tired of the pain
The others always bring
I often feel
That I am an alien in this world
That I will never really belong here
My smile
My words
I fool you all
I have never been human
I am something else
And I am still here
Every day I wake
Indifferent to each breath I take
Maybe someday the emptiness will fill
Until then here I am
An alien that walks on land
Nyx
In the darkness
I hide from you
The pain slips out
A little with each cut
Never enough to stop
Nyx
There it is again
That old familiar pain
Taking away another piece of me
What do you do
When all hope is gone
Where do you go
When there is nowhere left
There is nowhere I can feel peace for long
Nowhere that it does not hurt
Everything that is wrong with me
I see it for what it is
There is nothing more I can do right now
This is all I have left to give
My honesty shows the truth
I have never wanted to live
I am still here
Burning on the inside
Living in fear of the pain
What do you want from me
What is left for you to gain
You got what you wanted
Now leave me alone
Nyx
Will I be alone forever
I fear I must accept my fate
The loneliness it grips me hard
The pain it rips me apart
Once again I wish I was gone
Maybe there is a place I belong
Right now as I cry in the dark
I care about nothing because I cannot
I cannot care because my whole life I have sought
The one thing I will never have
It is just not meant to be
I was meant to live this life alone
All I will ever have is me
Nyx
I live in my own world of darkness
I do not see the light
I feel so alone
I feel so sad
I am still grieving over something
I never had
The sadness turns to pain
So similar than before
Except this time I feel less strength
It is hard to remember what I fight for
It hurts today
As I lay here in the dark
Wondering why I cannot be ok
With being alone again today
Nyx
Words From A Borderline 
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