Dark thoughts

When I sit still

Some times the pain is just too much

I do not know what to do

I no longer have words to say

The pain hits me

Every single day

I do not want to think

I do not want to cry

All I want to do

Is say goodbye

Nyx

On my own

I am still floating in the air

I will not know where I am going

Until I get there

What do you do

When the world crashes down

Where do you turn

When no ones around

I keep walking forward

Somehow I do

Some days are so hard

Just to live through

Maybe some day I will find my home

Until then I will continue to walk forward

On my own

Nyx

Because of you

I have lost faith in the world

Because of you

I believe in nothing

Because of you

You had a mouth full of promises

But a pocket full of secrets

All the lies that you told me

All the things that I did not see

They almost caused my demise

Why couldn’t I see it in your eyes

Why couldn’t I see the lies

Maybe my heart will beat again someday

It does not beat today

Nyx

Disclaimer

This was inspired from the song mouthful of diamonds from the band phantogram.

Great song.

Pandora’s box

I sit here numb

To everything around me

I feel the world cave in

As I look down at the water

I feel the apathy

As I make my choice

A choice I have made before

With every closing door

I take one last moment

To let myself feel the pain

It cuts so deep

I will never be the same

I look at the sky

Before I jump

Into the cold water below

This is where I belong

So this is where I go

When all is lost

I will take myself there

To Pandora’s box

Hoping for the darkness

Hoping for some peace

Hoping that this time

I do not come back

I just want the darkness

I just want to see the sky

I just want to see the sea

Then I want to die

Nyx

Move on

I feel the tall grass between my fingers

As I walk along the path

My heartache lingers

As I realize I can never turn back

I see the stream as it flows forward

Centering myself today

I have to live in the moment

I have to keep myself calm

It is the only way

That I can move on

Nyx

Escape

Apathy is my friend

It is the only way I will survive

Disconnect or die

This is what I feel

I have known all along

That happiness isn’t real

Those moments of peace..

They never last

I am haunted by the present

I am haunted by the past

There is no escape

From the pain I feel inside

There is no escape from the memories

There is no escape from the lies

Everyone I have let in

Has thrown a brick at me

I feel myself as I sink

Below the beautiful sea

This is the only way

I will ever be free

Nyx

Fate

I watch the others

From a distance

Feeling the loneliness grow

Sometimes I smile

Sometimes I let it show

Right now I feel the pain

Deep inside my chest

It eats away

Everything that is left

It eats away the hope I once had

The image that I had is gone

The image of happiness

That I had with someone

I realize that at the end of the day

All I have is me

Maybe this is my fate

Maybe this is my destiny

Nyx

Gone

I hear the footsteps soften

As another person walks away

Deep inside I feel the pain

As my body grieves

On the surface

I wear a smile

I show no weakness

I show no pain

Another scar hardens around my heart

Another one slithered through

And now he is gone

Nyx

Who will stay beside me

I die a little more inside

Every single day

What will be left of me

Once my body starts to decay

Who will stay beside me

Who will take my hand

As the bones turn into ash

As time trickles out like sand

As the pain subsides

As I start to let go

Will there be someone there

As I stare out the window

Or will I leave this world alone

Nyx

Another scar

With you gone

I feel so lost

I had no idea

That such a short time

Could have such a cost

I fight through the pain

Trying to find myself again

Hoping I can make it through today

I know that harsh words create fractures

I had no idea how fast we would shatter

How quickly you would turn from me

As if I never mattered

Even though the pain is raw

At least I saw who you really are

Now I just carry another scar

Nyx