I ask myself why
I can not be alone
Why does the pain hit
When I sit here in silence
Why does it go away
Only when someone is near
This is what I fear
That this loneliness
Will consume me
That the pain will never leave
Why does it have to hurt so much
Why won’t it go away
Why do I have to fight this pain
Every single day
Nyx
When I sit still
Some times the pain is just too much
I do not know what to do
I no longer have words to say
The pain hits me
Every single day
I do not want to think
I do not want to cry
All I want to do
Is say goodbye
Nyx
I am still floating in the air
I will not know where I am going
Until I get there
What do you do
When the world crashes down
Where do you turn
When no ones around
I keep walking forward
Somehow I do
Some days are so hard
Just to live through
Maybe some day I will find my home
Until then I will continue to walk forward
On my own
Nyx
I have lost faith in the world
Because of you
I believe in nothing
Because of you
You had a mouth full of promises
But a pocket full of secrets
All the lies that you told me
All the things that I did not see
They almost caused my demise
Why couldn’t I see it in your eyes
Why couldn’t I see the lies
Maybe my heart will beat again someday
It does not beat today
Nyx
Disclaimer
This was inspired from the song mouthful of diamonds from the band phantogram.
Great song.
I sit here numb
To everything around me
I feel the world cave in
As I look down at the water
I feel the apathy
As I make my choice
A choice I have made before
With every closing door
I take one last moment
To let myself feel the pain
It cuts so deep
I will never be the same
I look at the sky
Before I jump
Into the cold water below
This is where I belong
So this is where I go
When all is lost
I will take myself there
To Pandora’s box
Hoping for the darkness
Hoping for some peace
Hoping that this time
I do not come back
I just want the darkness
I just want to see the sky
I just want to see the sea
Then I want to die
Nyx
I feel the tall grass between my fingers
As I walk along the path
My heartache lingers
As I realize I can never turn back
I see the stream as it flows forward
Centering myself today
I have to live in the moment
I have to keep myself calm
It is the only way
That I can move on
Nyx
Apathy is my friend
It is the only way I will survive
Disconnect or die
This is what I feel
I have known all along
That happiness isn’t real
Those moments of peace..
They never last
I am haunted by the present
I am haunted by the past
There is no escape
From the pain I feel inside
There is no escape from the memories
There is no escape from the lies
Everyone I have let in
Has thrown a brick at me
I feel myself as I sink
Below the beautiful sea
This is the only way
I will ever be free
Nyx
I watch the others
From a distance
Feeling the loneliness grow
Sometimes I smile
Sometimes I let it show
Right now I feel the pain
Deep inside my chest
It eats away
Everything that is left
It eats away the hope I once had
The image that I had is gone
The image of happiness
That I had with someone
I realize that at the end of the day
All I have is me
Maybe this is my fate
Maybe this is my destiny
Nyx
I hear the footsteps soften
As another person walks away
Deep inside I feel the pain
As my body grieves
On the surface
I wear a smile
I show no weakness
I show no pain
Another scar hardens around my heart
Another one slithered through
And now he is gone
Nyx
I die a little more inside
Every single day
What will be left of me
Once my body starts to decay
Who will stay beside me
Who will take my hand
As the bones turn into ash
As time trickles out like sand
As the pain subsides
As I start to let go
Will there be someone there
As I stare out the window
Or will I leave this world alone
Nyx
