No more tears today 

At this moment I trust no one 

At this moment my hope in others is gone 

I feel no joy in the company that I keep 

My heart has been ripped open

By all of the promises that have been broken

I shed no more tears today 

I have said all there is to say 

I have lost something I once had 

I no longer have the ability to retain an emotion 

I don’t even know what sadness feels like anymore 

All I know is agony 

Then I feel the apathy

Then I feel the rage 

This is all I have left 

Nyx 

Float away 

I feel my skin burn within 

I feel my heart shatter 

I cannot help but ask myself 

Why does anything matter 

I try to make it through each day 

I try to hold my head high

I show a smile upon my face 

A smile that isn’t real 

All I want is peace from this life 

I no longer want to feel 

I wish that I was ignorant to everything 

I wish that I was ignorant to everyone 

I wish that I was dumb 

What I wish for the most is 

The ability to stay numb 

To be lost to this world forever 

To float away in the sky 

To say, so long and farewell 

Just to say goodbye 
Nyx

As my heart peels away

I watch as the sun rises 

I watch as the sun sets 

I can not help but wonder 

Is this as good as it gets 

These moments here and there 

These moments when I find my way 

These moments when I write to you 

When I show you the way 

I wear my heart on the outside 

I do not hide it within 

This is why I am so damaged 

Because we live in a world 

Plagued by sin 

This is when I feel the pain 

When I think of all the loss 

When I think of what they have gained 

This is when I lose the hope 

That my heart will stay full 

That my true nature will remain 

With everything I lose 

With everything they gain 

Some days I feel myself slip 

Into something else 

Into a creature fighting to live 

Into a creature with nothing left to give 

Sick and tired of the evil of man 

Sick of fighting for everything that I am 

It is so hard to keep hope in my heart 

When everyone takes a strip 

Tearing it apart 

There are a few pieces left of me 

Still out there for the world to see 

My weakness is known 

My honesty is shown 

My layers of beauty hide the scars 

They hide the peeled back strips 

They hide the darkness 

The darkness that is starting to show

I fear I will never stop fighting 

I fear I will never stop feeling 

These strips they just keep peeling

I fear one day there will be nothing left 

I fear that even the shell of who I was 

Will wither away and just be gone 

I wonder at this moment 

If my soul will let me move on 

Nyx

Break the silence 

Sometimes I think that I am beaten 

Sometimes I think that I am done 

That is when I stop and remember 

Everything that you have done 

These actions drive me forward 

These memories that you made 

You were the one I trusted 

My life was in your hands 

Everything I did to make you proud of me 

Everything I did I wanted you to see 

I was your daughter 

I was the one you were supposed to protect 

Instead all you did was lie to me 

Confuse me with truths mixed with lies 

Until all I wanted was to escape you 

Everything I have done 

Is a result of what you did 

Everything I do 

Is a fight to beat you

You are the reason I am who I am 

Yet you are the reason I still breathe 

You are the reason I stand

Well dear father someday you will see

What you created 

What you made 

Someday you will see 

That you will never beat me 

I may be bruised 

My bones may break 

I may wake up everyday and suffer 

From eternal heartache 

But when all is lost I see what you have done 

This is what drives me forward 

This is what makes me carry on 

I will fight for those born to suffer 

What you have put me through 

I will fight through the pain 

I will fight because I have no choice 

There was no turning back when I broke the silence 

There was no turning back when I used my voice 
Nyx

Darkness follows continued…

Darkness will follow me wherever I go 

In the end everyone goes away 

Darkness tells me so

Darkness is not my enemy 

He is my reality

I try to push him aside 

But he always finds a way

He inflicts the pain 

He sees my weakness 

He sees my shame 

He knows the apathy is a mask 

He knows what lies beneath 

He is set on his task 

He will follow me into eternal rest 

Because he is the best 

Because he is part of me 

He knows who I really am 

A damaged twisted thing 

With nowhere to stand 

Nyx

I wish for peace tonight 

The loneliness grips my beating heart 

It crushes my chest 

It rips me apart 

When I sit still it all comes back 

All the pain 

All the heartache 

Everything that has been done

Everything that I wish I did 

Sometimes I wish I could delete my mind 

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time 

But most of the time I just want to escape it 

Sit still and alone and not have to take it

Without a distraction all I feel is agony 

Without a distraction all I see is darkness 

At this moment I just wish I was not me 

At this moment I would give anything for the light 

Just a break from the pain

I wish for peace tonight 

Nyx 

Bleeding Heart

I thought I was strong

But right now I am weak

I should have known all along

What my weakness was

I should have remembered

That happiness isn’t real

I should have remembered

The way that heart break makes me feel

I didn’t remember until the pain hit

I didn’t remember until my chest was burning

I didn’t remember until the world around me was shaking and turning

Well here I am

As I sit

Asking myself what is wrong with me

Blaming myself because I didn’t see

What my weakness was all along

That I am not strong

I am a bleeding heart

Doomed from the start

My bleeding heart is my weakness

Nyx

In the end 

Your past becomes a fog within you 

Underneath the skin 

I have become such a damaged thing 

Like a bird with a broken wing

I walk this world alone 

Broken but yet I move 

The only thing that drives me 

This broken busted thing 

Is that I refuse to give up

I refuse to let you fuckers win 

Bring the lies and the pain 

Give me all you’ve got 

I can take it all you mother fuckers

In the end I will still be standing 

In the end I will still be here 

In the end I am the one 

You are going to fucking fear 

Nyx

My Sun Light

I hate you and I love you

This image from my past

But a love so fierce and strong

Was never meant to last

You pulled me toward perfection

But only with your eyes

Your words were given with nothing

But false sincerity and lies

You were supposed to be the one

My shining light

My sun

 

I just edited this poem I wrote a few months ago,  it coincides with More than life, so I figured I would share this as well. 

Peace and Love,

Nyx

© Nyx0519

Image Source http://vsco.co/alexxmilnee/media/58194a5f28d061644cfc4c62

More than life

You showed me love and made me believe it was real 

You gave me the strength to move forward and the ability to feel

You married me and looked at me like I was the only one you would ever adore

You told me I would be enough, that you would never need anything more

Complete and unending love is what you said

But this can’t be true my love

Because you left me for dead

You ripped out my heart

You tore me apart

And I loved you more than my own life

There are many things that life has taught me along the way

But one thing I will never learn is how to love someone so deeply

And then just toss them away

Nyx

© Nyx0519

Image Source http://weheartit.com/pictures/marielleko