I am lost in the dark
Running so far
It’s never fast enough
To forget what I have seen
Never fast enough
To forget who I thought you were
I thought that I would be true to you
No matter what you do
I was wrong
Nyx
heartache
Gone
When I close my eyes I see
Your hand in front of me
When I open them it’s gone
Nyx
Finding myself again
When all is lost I look inward
Finding myself again
Nothing has gone as planned
Yet I still stand
With my head high
As the world looks smaller below
I look to the sky
Nyx
No one left
There are some things
I will never understand
A love I will never see
This was never meant for me
The type of love bonded through blood
This is forever lost
I fill the void in other ways
Sometimes it has a cost
I can fill my mind with wishes
Dreams and hopes of love
I can hope that I am guided
By love shining down from up above
But at the end of the day the truth is
There is no one left but me
Maybe my hardened heart
Will someday set me free
Maybe this is the only way
That I was meant to be
Nyx
Bleeding inside
Hopeful for a moment
Then the pain hit
I cannot control these emotions
I wish that I could
I wish that someone
Really understood
How unbearable the pain is
I sit hear bleeding inside
Trying to hold on yet again
I am so tired my friends
I just want it to end
Nyx
No more tears today
At this moment I trust no one
At this moment my hope in others is gone
I feel no joy in the company that I keep
My heart has been ripped open
By all of the promises that have been broken
I shed no more tears today
I have said all there is to say
I have lost something I once had
I no longer have the ability to retain an emotion
I don’t even know what sadness feels like anymore
All I know is agony
Then I feel the apathy
Then I feel the rage
This is all I have left
Nyx
Float away
I feel my skin burn within
I feel my heart shatter
I cannot help but ask myself
Why does anything matter
I try to make it through each day
I try to hold my head high
I show a smile upon my face
A smile that isn’t real
All I want is peace from this life
I no longer want to feel
I wish that I was ignorant to everything
I wish that I was ignorant to everyone
I wish that I was dumb
What I wish for the most is
The ability to stay numb
To be lost to this world forever
To float away in the sky
To say, so long and farewell
Just to say goodbye
Nyx
As my heart peels away
I watch as the sun rises
I watch as the sun sets
I can not help but wonder
Is this as good as it gets
These moments here and there
These moments when I find my way
These moments when I write to you
When I show you the way
I wear my heart on the outside
I do not hide it within
This is why I am so damaged
Because we live in a world
Plagued by sin
This is when I feel the pain
When I think of all the loss
When I think of what they have gained
This is when I lose the hope
That my heart will stay full
That my true nature will remain
With everything I lose
With everything they gain
Some days I feel myself slip
Into something else
Into a creature fighting to live
Into a creature with nothing left to give
Sick and tired of the evil of man
Sick of fighting for everything that I am
It is so hard to keep hope in my heart
When everyone takes a strip
Tearing it apart
There are a few pieces left of me
Still out there for the world to see
My weakness is known
My honesty is shown
My layers of beauty hide the scars
They hide the peeled back strips
They hide the darkness
The darkness that is starting to show
I fear I will never stop fighting
I fear I will never stop feeling
These strips they just keep peeling
I fear one day there will be nothing left
I fear that even the shell of who I was
Will wither away and just be gone
I wonder at this moment
If my soul will let me move on
Nyx
Break the silence
Sometimes I think that I am beaten
Sometimes I think that I am done
That is when I stop and remember
Everything that you have done
These actions drive me forward
These memories that you made
You were the one I trusted
My life was in your hands
Everything I did to make you proud of me
Everything I did I wanted you to see
I was your daughter
I was the one you were supposed to protect
Instead all you did was lie to me
Confuse me with truths mixed with lies
Until all I wanted was to escape you
Everything I have done
Is a result of what you did
Everything I do
Is a fight to beat you
You are the reason I am who I am
Yet you are the reason I still breathe
You are the reason I stand
Well dear father someday you will see
What you created
What you made
Someday you will see
That you will never beat me
I may be bruised
My bones may break
I may wake up everyday and suffer
From eternal heartache
But when all is lost I see what you have done
This is what drives me forward
This is what makes me carry on
I will fight for those born to suffer
What you have put me through
I will fight through the pain
I will fight because I have no choice
There was no turning back when I broke the silence
There was no turning back when I used my voice
Nyx
Darkness follows continued…
Darkness will follow me wherever I go
In the end everyone goes away
Darkness tells me so
Darkness is not my enemy
He is my reality
I try to push him aside
But he always finds a way
He inflicts the pain
He sees my weakness
He sees my shame
He knows the apathy is a mask
He knows what lies beneath
He is set on his task
He will follow me into eternal rest
Because he is the best
Because he is part of me
He knows who I really am
A damaged twisted thing
With nowhere to stand
Nyx
