Fate

Will I be alone forever

I fear I must accept my fate

The loneliness it grips me hard

The pain it rips me apart

Once again I wish I was gone

Maybe there is a place I belong

Right now as I cry in the dark

I care about nothing because I cannot

I cannot care because my whole life I have sought

The one thing I will never have

It is just not meant to be

I was meant to live this life alone

All I will ever have is me

Nyx

My world of darkness

I live in my own world of darkness

I do not see the light

I feel so alone

I feel so sad

I am still grieving over something

I never had

The sadness turns to pain

So similar than before

Except this time I feel less strength

It is hard to remember what I fight for

It hurts today

As I lay here in the dark

Wondering why I cannot be ok

With being alone again today

Nyx

Loneliness

I ask myself why

I can not be alone

Why does the pain hit

When I sit here in silence

Why does it go away

Only when someone is near

This is what I fear

That this loneliness

Will consume me

That the pain will never leave

Why does it have to hurt so much

Why won’t it go away

Why do I have to fight this pain

Every single day

Nyx

Dark thoughts

When I sit still

Some times the pain is just too much

I do not know what to do

I no longer have words to say

The pain hits me

Every single day

I do not want to think

I do not want to cry

All I want to do

Is say goodbye

Nyx

On my own

I am still floating in the air

I will not know where I am going

Until I get there

What do you do

When the world crashes down

Where do you turn

When no ones around

I keep walking forward

Somehow I do

Some days are so hard

Just to live through

Maybe some day I will find my home

Until then I will continue to walk forward

On my own

Nyx

Because of you

I have lost faith in the world

Because of you

I believe in nothing

Because of you

You had a mouth full of promises

But a pocket full of secrets

All the lies that you told me

All the things that I did not see

They almost caused my demise

Why couldn’t I see it in your eyes

Why couldn’t I see the lies

Maybe my heart will beat again someday

It does not beat today

Nyx

Disclaimer

This was inspired from the song mouthful of diamonds from the band phantogram.

Great song.

Pandora’s box

I sit here numb

To everything around me

I feel the world cave in

As I look down at the water

I feel the apathy

As I make my choice

A choice I have made before

With every closing door

I take one last moment

To let myself feel the pain

It cuts so deep

I will never be the same

I look at the sky

Before I jump

Into the cold water below

This is where I belong

So this is where I go

When all is lost

I will take myself there

To Pandora’s box

Hoping for the darkness

Hoping for some peace

Hoping that this time

I do not come back

I just want the darkness

I just want to see the sky

I just want to see the sea

Then I want to die

Nyx

Move on

I feel the tall grass between my fingers

As I walk along the path

My heartache lingers

As I realize I can never turn back

I see the stream as it flows forward

Centering myself today

I have to live in the moment

I have to keep myself calm

It is the only way

That I can move on

Nyx

Escape

Apathy is my friend

It is the only way I will survive

Disconnect or die

This is what I feel

I have known all along

That happiness isn’t real

Those moments of peace..

They never last

I am haunted by the present

I am haunted by the past

There is no escape

From the pain I feel inside

There is no escape from the memories

There is no escape from the lies

Everyone I have let in

Has thrown a brick at me

I feel myself as I sink

Below the beautiful sea

This is the only way

I will ever be free

Nyx