Once again

Once again I feel myself drowning 

Once again I just want to scream 

I want to float away 

I want to live in a dream 

I wish I could escape this nightmare that is my life 

I wish I could escape the pain 

I want to stop pretending 

I want it all to stop 

I want to get away from you all

Before I dive 

Before I fall 

Clarity

When it feels like the world is crashing down

I look to the sky

I breathe in the air

I start to question why

Then I realize that sometimes there is no answer

Sometimes there are no reasons

Looking at the beauty of the world brings me peace

It shows me that there is so much more to life than I see

I am grateful for these moments of clarity

I am grateful that I have the ability to see beyond me

Nyx

Deflect

I used to dream of death

Those dreams where the best I ever had

An escape from the pain

An escape from this life

An escape from the gap in my mind

A gap that is thick and sharp like a knife

Then there was apathy

The numbness from the inside out

I drifted from here to there

There were no feelings and no doubt

Now all I do is deflect

Deflect the obstacles that continue to come

When I think I am finished with one

I realize I will never be done

I guess this is just the way life is meant to be

A constant battle

A constant fight to be free

Nyx

No certainty

There is no certainty in this life

People are here

Then they are gone

Happiness turns to sorrow

Sorrow turns to hate

Sometimes you catch onto something

Sometimes you catch it too late

Nyx

My land of make believe 

I feel this weight crushing me 

I can no longer breathe

I want to stay in my land of make believe 

Where everything is how I want it to be

I want to be with the one who loves me 

In a world we have created 

In a world we will remain 

Keeping my mind in this place 

Is the only thing that keeps me sane 

Hold on

In the end what really matters 

Is that you find the one you need 

Hold onto him and do not let go 

Do not run too fast 

Do not run too slow

Just hold on to him 

Do not let the world dissuade you 

Do not let others hold you back 

Do not let obstacles block you 

Keep your head high and stay on track 

The only thing that you really need to know 

Is that love is the meaning of life 

Finding love is a gift 

A gift worth fighting for 

I will hold onto mine 

I will cherish him until the end of time

Nyx  

When I blink 

I listen as you breathe beside me

Trying to keep myself awake 

Telling myself I can do this without you

Knowing deep down that I cannot 

I listen as the cars pass below 

Staring out through the window 

Telling myself things will get better 

Knowing deep down that they won’t 

I see happiness beside me 

But when I blink it will be gone 

The irony of life is that 

When you are ready

It won’t let you move on 

Nyx 

Where I belong 

My love lays next to me 

I look at him and see 

Everything that matters 

Everything that is real 

My world has been found 

As I listen to the sound of his voice 

As I see the look of love in his eyes 

I don’t remember who I was 

I do know who I am 

I know where I belong 

In his arms where I should have been all along 

The pull

I am disconnected

No longer whole

So close we are 

So strong is the pull

I have never felt this way

I have never felt this need 

I am so grateful he comes today

I am lost without him 

I am no longer me 

I have become one with someone else 

I need him to be free

Nyx

Time for an end

It is hard to walk away 

Until I hear the things you say 

I used to think it was enough 

What is left of us 

Then I was not sure 

I started to look toward the door 

You held me under as I gulped for air 

You pushed me down 

Then you left me there 

Now I am on the outside 

Now I am looking in 

I have made up my mind 

It is time for this to end 

Nyx