Dialogue with my friend darkness

“Hello Darkness my old friend

It’s nice to see you again”

“My sweet girl why are you so restless?

Can’t find that peace you still seek?

Can’t find an ear to listen to the screams?

Well here I am my dear

I will listen as you scream in pain

Then I will take you with me

I will lay my claim

In the end it will be the same

This is how it must be

Some day soon you will see

It has always been me

I am your true friend

I will show you how your life will end

Take my hand my dear”

I take his hand

“I know darkness

You are always right

Once again you are my only friend tonight”

Together we descend

Finding strength

More than I ever have

I have to find the strength

I have to believe

That I can be better

That I can live my life some day

Without the pain I felt before

With every decision I make

With everything that I have left to give

I rise today for you

For those who are as lost as me

I rise again because I must

I have to open the door

So everyone can see

That everyone deserves a chance

To live their lives with happiness

Nyx

Still drifting

I walk this world a wanderer

Drifting from here to there

It is hard to believe I am still breathing

But here I am still wandering the land

Some days I wish I was not me

Somedays I wish I was gone

Today I sit here, still breathing

Always fighting through the pain

Always fighting to hold on

I will remain as I have always been

A wanderer running away from sin

Running away from my shame

There is no one here to blame

I left them when I drifted

Along this path in life

I had to let them go

I had to say goodbye

I will never stop moving

There is no home for me

Wandering here then moving forward

This is who I was meant to be

Nyx

Fate

Will I be alone forever

I fear I must accept my fate

The loneliness it grips me hard

The pain it rips me apart

Once again I wish I was gone

Maybe there is a place I belong

Right now as I cry in the dark

I care about nothing because I cannot

I cannot care because my whole life I have sought

The one thing I will never have

It is just not meant to be

I was meant to live this life alone

All I will ever have is me

Nyx

There is no cure

Today I wish I wasn’t me

Like I have so many days before

What I suffer from

There is no cure

As I lay here in the dark

I find comfort in my dreams

There is no pain there

I do not remember

Happiness lasting very long

No matter what I have done

No matter where I have gone

Nothing can replace what was taken from me

I cannot regrow my soul

I long for death

But darkness is not finished with me yet

I know now that I cannot be different

I was not made to feel joy or love

All I can do is hope that there is peace

From some shining light above

In the mean time

I am here

Laying in the dark

Feeling empty and broken

Because everyone is gone

Every part of me was stolen

I feel so alone

It is so hard to go on

I wish for death every single day

There is nothing that anyone can do

There is nothing that anyone can say

That will ever make me want to get up

That will make me believe anything today

Nyx

Darkness and the night

Darkness will follow me

Wherever I go

When I am alone

This is when I know

I can feel it

He is coming

There he is as the light flickers out

He looks at me and shakes his head

Darling girl why are you still not dead

Haven’t you learned anything yet

This suffering and pain

I will never let you forget

I will make you feel it

Until you cannot breathe

As you gasp for air

I will bring you there

To the cycle of hell that is your life

Don’t you long for it to end

Come with me my dear

I can make it stop

You have nothing to fear

Just take my hand and we will go

Into the darkness of the night

I take his hand

There is nothing left for me here

Nothing left for me to know

As we walk I feel my heartbeat slow

I feel myself as I start to fade

Off together we both go

Me and the only friend I know

Nyx

My world of darkness

I live in my own world of darkness

I do not see the light

I feel so alone

I feel so sad

I am still grieving over something

I never had

The sadness turns to pain

So similar than before

Except this time I feel less strength

It is hard to remember what I fight for

It hurts today

As I lay here in the dark

Wondering why I cannot be ok

With being alone again today

Nyx

Drifting

I used to think that love was the only way

To lead me to my home

But now I feel myself drifting slowly

I do not feel the pull

I have found a way

To walk this world alone

I still feel tinges of the pain

The scars still tear away

And the blood still bleeds through

But I have found a way

To stop searching for you

Nyx

A place for us

Deep within my soul

I know there are pieces left

Parts that will one day make me whole

Someday you will see

That there is so much more to me

Then the girl who walked away

There is so much more to me

Than just one story to be told

One day when I walk the earth

There will be others behind me

I will show them the way

I will show them where there is land

A place for all of us

It exists inside my heart

It is the home of the forgotten

The ones who were once lost

The ones that thought they were dammed

All they needed was compassion

I give to all of you my hand

With all my love,

Nyx