Another scar

With you gone

I feel so lost

I had no idea

That such a short time

Could have such a cost

I fight through the pain

Trying to find myself again

Hoping I can make it through today

I know that harsh words create fractures

I had no idea how fast we would shatter

How quickly you would turn from me

As if I never mattered

Even though the pain is raw

At least I saw who you really are

Now I just carry another scar

Nyx

For the ashes of what once was 

As I walk through the trees 

I feel the breeze 

It is all I have to calm me 

In this moment as I grieve 

For the wishes and dreams I did not receive 

For the ashes of what once was 

For the memories that you gave me 

For the days that I have wept 

For something that was never real

There is no one that can save me 

From the fall that has begun 

There is no one that can reverse 

All the damage you have done 

As the anger subsides 

I find my resolve 

You are just another puzzle 

I was meant to solve 

Nyx

The tears I have not shed 

For the arms I have not felt 

For the tears I have not shed 

For the loneliness your absence brings 

For the years of torment and pain 

I hope you got what you needed from me 

I hope what you stole was worth it to you

You created a monster that day 

The day you took my innocence away 

The day you pierced the knife in 

But never stuck it all the way through 

The moments I will never forget 

The things I never wanted to see 

You buried them in the ashes of my heart 

So easy to brush away and see 

Everything you did to me 

I hope that someday your heart burns 

I hope that someday you feel the pain

In the meantime

I will keep fighting every day 

In the meantime I will survive despite you 

Because that is the only thing 

That I can do 

Nyx 

Lost in the dark 

I am lost in the dark 

Running so far 

It’s never fast enough 

To forget what I have seen 

Never fast enough 

To forget who I thought you were 

I thought that I would be true to you 

No matter what you do 

I was wrong 

Nyx 

 

Within my dream

I see what he has done 

I see the grass that has grown brown 

I see the trees wither and die around me

I see the sky fade into grey 

I walk away from the dark  

With every tear I shed 

With every sting that this nightmare brings 

I push forward 

And as I go 

I will my heartbeat to slow 

I will my sorrow away 

I take a seed and plant it 

With my love I know it will grow 

Someday I will see the trees again 

Someday I will see the green 

Someday the sky will shine with color 

Beauty will not be forgotten 

It will be seen 

I will live my life again 

I will live within my dream 

Nyx

When my soul is gone 

Sometimes despair drags me down 

Through this haze of memories 

Through years of turmoil 

My body sinks 

Until it is anchored down 

Then the rooms fills with water 

As I lay chained to the ground 

Once again I gulp for air 

Until I can no longer breathe 

This is when the emptiness comes 

This is when my soul is gone 

Nyx

Finding balance and strength 

I hear the sound of the world outside 

As I try to find balance in my life 

I have always struggled to get by 

I have never stopped asking myself why 

I have made the decisions I have so far 

Then I reflect and tell myself 

This is who you are 

With every step forward 

And every step back 

I try to fill the pieces 

That have chipped away 

I push myself again today

To find the balance and the strength 

That I need to succeed 

Nyx

Ripped apart

Live and learn they say 

Why do we have to learn

By being ripped apart

Where does the pain end 

When does this learning start 

I do not believe these words are true 

Each piece that is pulled from me 

Is another piece gone 

I was always this strong 

What I have learned is how not to fear 

But this was after being beat down 

Year after year 

Losing everything 

Again and again 

Falling further and faster 

With no where to land 

Being pushed down

Until I could not stand 

Having my head pushed under 

Until I was swallowing water 

This has made me fearless 

A monster you see 

Do you think I would be someone else

If this did not happen to me 

No I would still be me 

Nyx

No one left 

There are some things 

I will never understand 

A love I will never see 

This was never meant for me 

The type of love bonded through blood

This is forever lost 

I fill the void in other ways 

Sometimes it has a cost 

I can fill my mind with wishes 

Dreams and hopes of love 

I can hope that I am guided 

By love shining down from up above 

But at the end of the day the truth is 

There is no one left but me 

Maybe my hardened heart 

Will someday set me free 

Maybe this is the only way 

That I was meant to be 

Nyx