Content

Feeling content is a gift

A break from sadness and pain

I am grateful for this feeling

I appreciate the lack of pain

I accept this gift

Nyx

Exist as I am

It is hard to ignore this loneliness

I feel this need for connection

A connection to someone else

In the meantime I lay here

Listening as the clock keeps ticking

Aware of time that is passing by

Knowing that being here alone is not enough

But accepting it anyway

This is what is best

I will keep trying to be better

I will exist as I am

Nyx

This face

What have I become

Who was I before

I do not recognize

This face I see reflected at me

Maybe I am already

Everything I was meant to be

Nyx

Walk away

My perception sees wrong intention

Is my perception real

Is this sinking feeling justified

Take take take

That’s what I see

She takes takes takes

Until there is only a shell of me

I used to want to give

But sometimes giving is not enough

I realize today

That sometimes the only answer

Is to walk away

Nyx

Let the games begin

Some days are so hard

When my mind is against me

Making things harder than they need to be

So I fight to stop these thoughts

It seems I never really win

I rise again today

Let the games begin

Nyx

This is not the end

Today I feel so lost

I used to be so sure of my direction

Where I was going

Who I was

Who I wanted to be

Now I feel myself grow tired

Of the frustration each day brings

Wondering what is happening to me

Feeling this lack of security

It is tearing me apart

Indecision clouds my mind

As I feel time slipping away

I feel myself falling

A little more each day

I do not know what to do

I do not know where to go

I will try to find some peace

I will try to find myself again

I do not want to feel this way

This is not the end

Nyx

“We should always be asking ourselves: “ Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?” Epictetus

Humbled

A path I thought was certain

Is no longer there for me

I know I must accept this

But the anxiety burns my chest

I was so sure of myself

So sure of who I would be

So sure of what I would do

It filled me with joy

These thoughts of the path I always dreamed of

I did not see this loss

After coming this far I had no doubts

Yet humbled I have become

Reminded that this is a fight I have not won

So quickly things can change

So quickly hope can lead to pain

I have to find a new path

I have to learn from this

I have to accept this failure

See it for what it is

This was not meant to be

I cannot let this failed dream beat me

Nyx

Faith

Uncertainty ruled my thoughts today

But self reflection guided me

Onto a better path

It showed me what I needed to see

There is no certainty in the steps we take in life

But there is faith in a future that can be bright

Nyx

There is a way out of hell

Darkness has reminded me of the agony

That sadness brings

I will feel euphoria

Until it all comes crashing down

This is when I feel him near me

This is when he brings the pain

He is my reminder of who I used to be

He is my reminder of the torment I have felt

He is my reminder that everyone walked away

But today I fight him because I must

I have to remind myself

That I have always gotten back up

Every time I fell

I have to remind myself

That there is a way out of hell

Nyx