A bird with a broken wing

I had to let you go

That short lived feeling

Has long passed

I need to find a way

To be ok today

I need to find a way

To stop the pain again

What the hell do I do

When all I want is to escape

To feel something else

Besides this eternal heartache

I know longer care

If I win or lose

I know longer know

Who I even am

All I have ever done

Is fight to want to live

Without this dream I have

There is nothing left to give

A wanderer is what I am

A warrior as well

I hold my shield up

But my arms they grow weary

And sometimes I take a hit

When I let the shield fall

This is when you see it all

The pain is on my face

The plastered pieces start to crumple

And the fissures and scars all show

This is what I am

A scarred and broken thing

Like a beautiful bird

With a broken wing

I cannot sing

I cannot fly

The truth is that every day

What I long for

Is to simply die

I try to see the beauty in the world

I try to look toward the sky

I try to ask myself questions

I start to wonder why

Peace has not found me

This is when I cry

Nyx

Down below

Like a moth to a flame

I fear it will always be the same

I feel my skin as it burns

I watch the world as it turns

It fades from white to black

So quickly the flames grow

Consuming me completely

I have never felt pain so deeply

Then I let myself go

Falling further and further

Down below

Inside the ground

This is where my peace is found

Disclaimer- this is not about dying. It is about letting go, and extinguishing the flame with the earth below.

Peace and Love,

Nyx

Walk away

I see those eyes

Glare through the night

The blue so beautiful and bright

Beyond those eyes

A hollow soul lies

With no empathy or emotion

No capability of devotion

A predator waiting for prey

He eats you

Then tosses you away

You will pine for him

Because he draws you in

His fake smile shows no remorse

Because he does not care about you

He will rip you apart

Then tear out your heart

You will be left there to bleed

Until you gain the strength

To quench the need

And walk away

Nyx

Without a home

She exists alone again

There is no one there

To hold her hand

She seeks peace within herself

Because she has no choice

Forward she walks

Into the unknown

Somber still

Without a home

Nyx

Shut it down

In the end I see

There will be no one beside me

I have to make myself believe

That I will be alright someday

That somehow I can make myself

Shut it down again

All the pain inside

I have to make it stop

Nyx

Destruction

Alone I sit

Trying to make myself numb

It is not working today

As I push another away

I feel the pain in my chest

I am attracted to destruction

In this attraction I feel no shame

It is only myself

That I have to blame

I am trying to remember something good

I just cannot do it today

Nyx

There is only rain

The loneliness

It cripples me

People only care

To some degree

I see this when they walk away

Because they always leave

Today there is no light

Today I cannot see

There is only darkness

There is only pain

There are no roses

There is only rain

The agony is always there

When I let myself feel

When I let myself care

Nyx

You are not alone

The best poets

Are the most tortured souls

At least that is what I believe

The ones who suffer everyday

Longing for the pain to subside

Hoping that someday they find away

To feel the peace they seek everyday

In the meantime just know

That I hope you find that love you need

That I hope that you will find a way

To smile and laugh and feel no pain

To know that there is more to life

Than this thing that we each

Continue to fight

I just hope that

We realize

That we can find each other

That we all embrace the unknown

Knowing that we are not alone

Nyx

Battle

I hold my sword toward the sky

I feel everything

All the pain

All the loss

All the sorrow

I take the blade

I slice my hand

I watch the blood drip

Into the sand

In this moment I swear to myself

I will not fail

I will not stop

I look upon my enemy

I tell him to stand

Nyx

Loneliness is what I fear

The pain

It comes and goes

Hits me in waves

Sometimes it lasts for hours

Sometimes it lasts for days

Until I shut it down

It is often soothed

By the sound of someone else

Or the sound of music

Playing in my head

Sometimes when the pain is gone

All I feel is dread

Loneliness is what I fear

Night after night

Year after year

I do not want to be alone

I want to find my home

Nyx