Solace in the dark

Sitting in the dark

Crying again

Letting go of another person

Another strip of my heart is gone

The pain is so great

That I have to shut down

If I didn’t I would break completely

There is no coming back from this

There is no way to change it

I’m still here breathing

Enduring it all

I feel comfort in this time

I have found solitude

I have found solace in the darkness

It is where I belong

There is no human for me

There never will be

Nyx

False hope

I can have this hope

That someday I will write to you

And for longer than a few moments

A few precious hours I will not suffer

That hope dies a little more

Every single day

Today is another day

That a piece of me has been stripped away

Left to burn in the flames

Again all I feel right now is pain

Nyx

 

That familiar feeling

I feel that familiar ache

It grips my chest again

The sadness lingers

Never far from the surface

Sadness brings this feeling

No words can truly describe it

All my life I have fought

This feeling that I must endure

I have learned I must embrace it

There is no cure

Maybe someday this will change

Maybe it will end

I just have to face this feeling

Until then

This is how it must be

I see darkness creeping toward me

I am still here my friend

But please go away

I do not have the strength

To walk with you again today

Nyx

Covered in paint and powder

She suffers in ways

That no one can see

The agony gets swept aside

By the powder she spreads across her face

Covering the darkness

Covering the scars

There is no part left to be seen

She covers it all

Underneath the paint

Underneath the skin

The darkness hides the flame

The fire that keeps her alive

The anger makes her move

When all hope is lost

Everyday a piece is taken

Living her life at this high cost

Broken and bleeding

Mended here and there

How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere

Her pleas are unheard

Her tears are unseen

She will exist as she is

A plastered doll covered in paint and powder

Living in shame

I hear her as she screams louder

While she burns from within

Nyx

Welcome

Imagine the worst pain you have ever felt

When your heart was broken

When you were broken

Imagine having that pain

Over and over again

Every single day

All due to the words of someone else

Whoever is filling the void

My unattractive sickness

Is that what you see

Welcome to my reality

Nyx

Burning

There it is again

That old familiar pain

Taking away another piece of me

What do you do

When all hope is gone

Where do you go

When there is nowhere left

There is nowhere I can feel peace for long

Nowhere that it does not hurt

Everything that is wrong with me

I see it for what it is

There is nothing more I can do right now

This is all I have left to give

My honesty shows the truth

I have never wanted to live

I am still here

Burning on the inside

Living in fear of the pain

What do you want from me

What is left for you to gain

You got what you wanted

Now leave me alone

Nyx

Death and comfort

You are dead to me

Because that’s the way it needs to be

Get the hell away from me

Before I make you hurt

You don’t want to feel the way that I do

Just get the hell away from me

That’s all I ask of you

Nyx

Still drifting

I walk this world a wanderer

Drifting from here to there

It is hard to believe I am still breathing

But here I am still wandering the land

Some days I wish I was not me

Somedays I wish I was gone

Today I sit here, still breathing

Always fighting through the pain

Always fighting to hold on

I will remain as I have always been

A wanderer running away from sin

Running away from my shame

There is no one here to blame

I left them when I drifted

Along this path in life

I had to let them go

I had to say goodbye

I will never stop moving

There is no home for me

Wandering here then moving forward

This is who I was meant to be

Nyx

Fate

Will I be alone forever

I fear I must accept my fate

The loneliness it grips me hard

The pain it rips me apart

Once again I wish I was gone

Maybe there is a place I belong

Right now as I cry in the dark

I care about nothing because I cannot

I cannot care because my whole life I have sought

The one thing I will never have

It is just not meant to be

I was meant to live this life alone

All I will ever have is me

Nyx