Pulling me

I sit here and I feel the pain

The pain that loneliness brings 

I remind myself that I have to feel

I remind myself that I cannot shut it off or I will never heal

But the heaviness wears me down

I feel it pulling me further away

Then I feel the pain in my chest

The same pain as before

The pain that I just do not want to feel anymore

Nyx

The void

Once again I exist in the darkness

Hiding from the world

Ashamed of what I look like

Ashamed of my lack of control

Emptiness and loneliness

Is all I feel today

In this void of nothing

This void that never ends

Nyx

Trapped in hell

I hear the gate slam

As I fall into the flames

All I feel is emptiness and pain

I lie in the darkness

No longer wanting to exist in this world

With the gate slammed shut

I find my resolve

I have accepted my fate

I can not save myself

From my own mind

I just want to feel the flames

For the last time

Nyx

There is a way out of hell

Darkness has reminded me of the agony

That sadness brings

I will feel euphoria

Until it all comes crashing down

This is when I feel him near me

This is when he brings the pain

He is my reminder of who I used to be

He is my reminder of the torment I have felt

He is my reminder that everyone walked away

But today I fight him because I must

I have to remind myself

That I have always gotten back up

Every time I fell

I have to remind myself

That there is a way out of hell

Nyx

Addictions

Push him out

Let him in

Push him out

Let him in

Pain

Emptiness

More pain

I wish I could change

but I’ll probably just stay the same

I had a taste of my addiction

Now it’s gone

I just want to be dead

Nyx

Darkness please come

I long for the darkness to take me there

Away from this life

I can no longer care

About what exists outside these walls

All I want right now is to never wake up

Darkness please come

Darkness please take me away

I give up

You have won today

Nyx

Alien

I feel empty

Alone and guarded

Tired of the pain

The others always bring

I often feel

That I am an alien in this world

That I will never really belong here

My smile

My words

I fool you all

I have never been human

I am something else

And I am still here

Every day I wake

Indifferent to each breath I take

Maybe someday the emptiness will fill

Until then here I am

An alien that walks on land

Nyx