Treading water

Today I feel broken

As I push myself to do

What needs to be done

Once again relying on no one

Every turn leads to a wall

Before the foundation gives

Before I fall

I see the water below

It lies beneath as the ground gives way

I am treading water today

Nyx

God give me strength

How much more

Can I take

I just do not know

I feel ripped to the core

I care about nothing

I am so close to ending it

God give me strength

I’ve been fighting for so long

God give me the strength

To go on

Nyx

Pandora’s box

I sit here numb

To everything around me

I feel the world cave in

As I look down at the water

I feel the apathy

As I make my choice

A choice I have made before

With every closing door

I take one last moment

To let myself feel the pain

It cuts so deep

I will never be the same

I look at the sky

Before I jump

Into the cold water below

This is where I belong

So this is where I go

When all is lost

I will take myself there

To Pandora’s box

Hoping for the darkness

Hoping for some peace

Hoping that this time

I do not come back

I just want the darkness

I just want to see the sky

I just want to see the sea

Then I want to die

Nyx

Escape

Apathy is my friend

It is the only way I will survive

Disconnect or die

This is what I feel

I have known all along

That happiness isn’t real

Those moments of peace..

They never last

I am haunted by the present

I am haunted by the past

There is no escape

From the pain I feel inside

There is no escape from the memories

There is no escape from the lies

Everyone I have let in

Has thrown a brick at me

I feel myself as I sink

Below the beautiful sea

This is the only way

I will ever be free

Nyx

Fate

I watch the others

From a distance

Feeling the loneliness grow

Sometimes I smile

Sometimes I let it show

Right now I feel the pain

Deep inside my chest

It eats away

Everything that is left

It eats away the hope I once had

The image that I had is gone

The image of happiness

That I had with someone

I realize that at the end of the day

All I have is me

Maybe this is my fate

Maybe this is my destiny

Nyx

Who will stay beside me

I die a little more inside

Every single day

What will be left of me

Once my body starts to decay

Who will stay beside me

Who will take my hand

As the bones turn into ash

As time trickles out like sand

As the pain subsides

As I start to let go

Will there be someone there

As I stare out the window

Or will I leave this world alone

Nyx

The bridge

I see the bridge

So beautiful

So bright

It lights up the sky

On the darkest night

At my darkest hour

This is where I fall

Into Pandora’s box

There is no night

There is no day

This is where I rest

This is where I stay

Disclaimer

This is not a reflection of me, but a reflection of many who have suffered enough to take their own lives. Peace and love, Nyx

Together we descend 

I watch as the skies fade into gray 

I am so tired of fighting alone 

This is just the way it has to be 

Alone I wonder into the abyss 

Darkness follows behind 

Playing his role in kind 

This I am ok with 

Because I know 

Darkness is part of my mind 

There is no joy without despair 

There is no light without darkness

There is no beginning without an end 

So I take darkness, I grab his hand 

Together we descend 

Nyx