My forever 

In my mind I see fields 

Filled with flowers of color 

Filled with grass so green 

I feel the breeze

Sweep across my face 

Peace fills me in this place 

I see myself as beautiful 

As I walk slowly 

Moving with grace 

This is how I want to see myself 

Smiling in this field 

Forever feeling the breeze 

This is my escape 

This is my home 

Nyx

To be free

I feel so heavy 

So weighed down

I feel the darkness 

Rise above my head 

Pulling me further 

Filling me with dread

Maybe I will make it

Maybe I will not

Maybe I will find a way 

To fix myself again 

Maybe I will wake up 

When all I want is sleep 

Maybe I will pull the blade out 

The one that’s in so deep 

Maybe I will find a way  

To be free 

Nyx

I have to prevail

The anxiety smoothers me

I can no longer breathe

Survival is what I need

In order to succeed

The struggle to keep my head above water

It gets harder everyday

If only I could find someway

To assure I will make it

If only I could find someway

To feel safe again

As my breath leaves me

I start to feel the pain

The constant worry

It is always the same

Will I make it

Or will I fail

I know that somehow

I have to do this

I have to prevail

Nyx

Within my dream

I see what he has done 

I see the grass that has grown brown 

I see the trees wither and die around me

I see the sky fade into grey 

I walk away from the dark  

With every tear I shed 

With every sting that this nightmare brings 

I push forward 

And as I go 

I will my heartbeat to slow 

I will my sorrow away 

I take a seed and plant it 

With my love I know it will grow 

Someday I will see the trees again 

Someday I will see the green 

Someday the sky will shine with color 

Beauty will not be forgotten 

It will be seen 

I will live my life again 

I will live within my dream 

Nyx

As the water falls 

I listen as the water falls 

What a soothing sound 

I feel my body go still 

I let go of worry

I let go of sorrow 

I just sit here and listen 

As it all fades away 

Closing my eyes 

I find some peace today 

Nyx

Loving you

When I heard you say your name 

I knew I would never be the same 

Something changed in me that day 

That interest grew with words you said 

Dreams were formed inside my head

Then I felt the pull 

Then I felt your skin

I knew then that I was lost 

I gave you my heart that day 

You took it when I saw your eyes 

When the force made me look into them 

You took it when you did not leave 

You never faltered 

You never swayed 

You believed in me 

And I know that you still do 

This is why I know 

I will never stop loving you 

Because there is nothing 

That your love for me 

Will not carry me through 

Nyx

Finding balance and strength 

I hear the sound of the world outside 

As I try to find balance in my life 

I have always struggled to get by 

I have never stopped asking myself why 

I have made the decisions I have so far 

Then I reflect and tell myself 

This is who you are 

With every step forward 

And every step back 

I try to fill the pieces 

That have chipped away 

I push myself again today

To find the balance and the strength 

That I need to succeed 

Nyx

Ready for battle

I hear the raindrops 

Tick off my armor 

As I stand in the valley 

Ready for battle 

I hold my sword to the sky 

As I watch you quiver with fear 

I look in your eyes 

Before I say good bye 

Nyx

Finding myself again

When all is lost I look inward 

Finding myself again 

Nothing has gone as planned 

Yet I still stand 

With my head high 

As the world looks smaller below 

I look to the sky 

Nyx

Ripped apart

Live and learn they say 

Why do we have to learn

By being ripped apart

Where does the pain end 

When does this learning start 

I do not believe these words are true 

Each piece that is pulled from me 

Is another piece gone 

I was always this strong 

What I have learned is how not to fear 

But this was after being beat down 

Year after year 

Losing everything 

Again and again 

Falling further and faster 

With no where to land 

Being pushed down

Until I could not stand 

Having my head pushed under 

Until I was swallowing water 

This has made me fearless 

A monster you see 

Do you think I would be someone else

If this did not happen to me 

No I would still be me 

Nyx