Broken

I exist in my own hell

A busted broken shell

I break everyday

Nothing takes the pain away

There is no song that brings lasting peace

There is no wind on my face

There is no ground to walk on

There is nothing anyone can say

Because they all walk away

I wish I did not exist

But here I am

Living this life of pain

I will never be the same

I cannot fix what they have done

I was created and at the moment

My creators have won

I no longer see the beauty of the sun

I no longer see a blue sky

In this moment all I want to

Is die

Nyx

Let go

I barely make it through

Everything that I do

No matter what I have done

I have yet to feel the sun

It does not shine upon my face

There is no warm welcoming embrace

As I find myself here

There is no one near

No one to wipe away my tears

No one to soothe me

No one to shield me from my fears

So, I just fall

Further into the dark

I see nothing in this place

So, I close my eyes

And let go

Nyx

 

Keep fighting

I keep fighting

Every single day

It will never end

But I will fight anyway

It is all I have ever known

All I will ever know

I walk this world alone

My heart a ball of stone

You can not defeat me

I will build my empire

That will be my home

Nyx

Destruction

Alone I sit

Trying to make myself numb

It is not working today

As I push another away

I feel the pain in my chest

I am attracted to destruction

In this attraction I feel no shame

It is only myself

That I have to blame

I am trying to remember something good

I just cannot do it today

Nyx

As I walk through the storm

He made me cry

Before I said goodbye 

There is no perfect mix 

No one who can see 

Who I really am 

Who I strive to be 

I exist and yet I do not 

All my life I have fought 

To find the balance that I need 

In order to push myself 

I need to believe 

That someday I will find 

The one thing that I need 

Someone beside me 

As I walk through the storm

Arms to embrace me 

When I need it the most

I will find you 

This I know is true 

I will not stop

Until I do 

Nyx

Is it all in my head ?

I feel the sadness as it starts to spread

Is there something wrong

Or is it all in my head

I do not know where I am going

All is feel is my world turning

In my chest I feel the pain

The ache that never goes away

I am lost beyond this world

Everyone goes

No one will stay

When I stop it hits me hard

Bruised and broken

Beaten and scarred

I have to shut it off

I have to leave this place

There is no solace here

I feel my heart

It begins to race

When I see that look

Upon your face

Nyx

You are not alone

The best poets

Are the most tortured souls

At least that is what I believe

The ones who suffer everyday

Longing for the pain to subside

Hoping that someday they find away

To feel the peace they seek everyday

In the meantime just know

That I hope you find that love you need

That I hope that you will find a way

To smile and laugh and feel no pain

To know that there is more to life

Than this thing that we each

Continue to fight

I just hope that

We realize

That we can find each other

That we all embrace the unknown

Knowing that we are not alone

Nyx

I will not look back

The world it spins

Round and round I go

In a daze

I feel the pain

I will never be the same

I keep changing

As the leather gets thicker around me

It keeps me safe

I know longer long for anything

I know longer long for anyone

I am a warrior

Alone I walk this path

I know where I am going

I will not look back

Nyx

A warrior

At the core of who I am

There is a warrior

A fighter that I know is there

I remember when I feel the pressure build

I remember when I will my heartbeat to slow

I remember and I make myself let everything go

Because I will keep fighting

This is something I must do

I fight for me

I fight for you

Nyx

Broken

I am always reminded

Of the uncertainty in this life

Of the things that I have lost

Of the cruelty

Of the ones who look away

And the ones who do not stay

I am left a wanderer

Lost in this world

Yet driven to be more than what I am

Pushing myself every day to stand

Sometimes the pain grips me so hard

I feel myself slowly

Being torn apart

I try never to forget

What it is I fight for

I try not to forget

What it felt like

When I walked out the door

I no longer know who I am

I no longer know who I was before

I sit here broken

Longing for something I will never get

The pain it lingers

But it has not defeated me yet

Nyx