survive

Today

/ Nyx / 4 Comments

I’ve been avoiding the sunlight

I’ve been avoiding my life

I am so tired of many things

Most of all I am tired of myself

Tired of the shame

Tired of the pain

Tired of existing as I am

What is the point of life

If I am unable to live it

Why give me so much love

And then make it so hard to give it

I have to find some hope

Because I have lost it again

The pain is so extreme

The pain is too much

There has to be a reason

There has to be a way

To pull myself away from this darkness

Once again today

Nyx

Walk away

/ Nyx / 1 Comment

My perception sees wrong intention

Is my perception real

Is this sinking feeling justified

Take take take

That’s what I see

She takes takes takes

Until there is only a shell of me

I used to want to give

But sometimes giving is not enough

I realize today

That sometimes the only answer

Is to walk away

Nyx

This is not the end

/ Nyx / 6 Comments

Today I feel so lost

I used to be so sure of my direction

Where I was going

Who I was

Who I wanted to be

Now I feel myself grow tired

Of the frustration each day brings

Wondering what is happening to me

Feeling this lack of security

It is tearing me apart

Indecision clouds my mind

As I feel time slipping away

I feel myself falling

A little more each day

I do not know what to do

I do not know where to go

I will try to find some peace

I will try to find myself again

I do not want to feel this way

This is not the end

Nyx

A warrior with a voice

/ Nyx / 5 Comments

I feel pride in how far I have come

I have fell down more times than I can count

But I do get up eventually, and after every fall

I remember who I am now

What I have grown into

A warrior with a voice so loud and clear

That people listen now

A voice so loud and clear

That strength and passion flows through me

Maybe someday I will get to where I need to be

As long as I keep getting up I believe I will succeed

Nyx

There is a way out of hell

/ Nyx / 9 Comments

Darkness has reminded me of the agony

That sadness brings

I will feel euphoria

Until it all comes crashing down

This is when I feel him near me

This is when he brings the pain

He is my reminder of who I used to be

He is my reminder of the torment I have felt

He is my reminder that everyone walked away

But today I fight him because I must

I have to remind myself

That I have always gotten back up

Every time I fell

I have to remind myself

That there is a way out of hell

Nyx

New challenges

/ Nyx / 8 Comments

Today I wake up to new challenges

I am reminded of the uncertainty

That each day brings

And with each day a new dawn rises

Giving me the chance to start again

Giving me the energy to push myself forward

Because I either rise or fall

That decision is mine to make

With every step I do or do not take

Today I am taking a step

Because that is what I choose to do

Nyx

Rise

/ Nyx / 10 Comments

Only from the ashes of who we were

Can we rise up to become who we were meant to be

Nyx

Finding strength

/ Nyx / 7 Comments

More than I ever have

I have to find the strength

I have to believe

That I can be better

That I can live my life some day

Without the pain I felt before

With every decision I make

With everything that I have left to give

I rise today for you

For those who are as lost as me

I rise again because I must

I have to open the door

So everyone can see

That everyone deserves a chance

To live their lives with happiness

Nyx

Why I exist

/ Nyx / 4 Comments

Today I felt it all

I shared my tale

Of heartbreak and pain

But I also told them

What it is I fight for

Why I am still here

I have a purpose in this life

That is why I have to live it

Even though I have fallen

Many times before

Even though I will fall again

This i am sure

I will always get back up

Because they need me here

They need someone who can stand up

And take away their fear

They need someone who understands

They need someone to listen

I will be what I need to be for them

That is why I exist

That is who I am

Nyx

Broken

/ Nyx / 18 Comments

I exist in my own hell

A busted broken shell

I break everyday

Nothing takes the pain away

There is no song that brings lasting peace

There is no wind on my face

There is no ground to walk on

There is nothing anyone can say

Because they all walk away

I wish I did not exist

But here I am

Living this life of pain

I will never be the same

I cannot fix what they have done

I was created and at the moment

My creators have won

I no longer see the beauty of the sun

I no longer see a blue sky

In this moment all I want to

Is die

Nyx