Free Fall

There it is again

The calm that slows my beating heart

I am so grateful for the sound of music as it soothes my soul

It fills the void… the sinking growing black hole

Today it’s Tom Petty that makes me smile

Telling me to free fall out into nothing

To jump and leave this world for a while

Nyx

 

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Loved beyond time

I want to be loved beyond measure

I want to feel completely happy and free

I want to hold the hand of my one true love and feel him beside me

I want to smile and laugh

I want to run into his arms

I want that moment to last forever

I want that moment to stay in my mind…

I want a love that will surpass the end of time

Another place and time

Today my heart feels heavy…with sadness and pain 

Sometimes I wish I could float away… 

Live a life in another place…in another time 

Be with people who love me…be with a family that is mine

A family that loves me through the good and bad days…a family who will stand beside me till the end 

I am like smoke…I flow by…but no one can see

The sorrow and shame that was my life…the sorrow buried inside of me

 

 

Darkness # 4

Need to stay in motion 

Need to pass the time 

If I don’t he will catch me 

He will creep into my mind

He brings back the pain…takes me back in time 

So I continue to move too fast 

My mind spins so quickly… I forget what I have done 

Darkness sees me flustered and thinks that he has won 

My heart races…but I stay in motion anyway 

This is a small price to pay…if it keeps him away 

I will never stop fighting you my darkness 

Someday you will see…that you will keep thinking you won…but you will never beat me 

Nyx

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Sometimes #2

So here I sit alone

I try to calm my brain

My thoughts again so jumbled

I know that I’m not sane

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me

Sometimes I want to run away

Sometimes I wish I could see myself as the same person every day

Sometimes I wish I could see myself the way others do

Just to see what I look like to them

I wonder if there smiles are genuine…or are they just pretend

I want to love myself…but that is so hard to do

When all I see are my imperfections and all of the mistakes I make

I need to stop picking myself apart

I’m not sure how much more I can take

True love

And time keeps moving forward

As days just pass me by

My life continues to move me toward an eventual goodbye

Life ticks by so quickly it’s hard to keep track

To remember moments clearly and to hold myself back

Beauty fades with age and the passing of time

I wish someone would claim me…just as I wish I could make him mine

I would rather spend a lifetime with true love then fade away without it

I just don’t know if it exists and this burdens my heart

We all think we feel it when we find someone we love…but as years pass this changes as feelings start to fade

So here I sit and wonder… does true love really exist

Or is it meant to end after that endearing first kiss

Quick Sand

How do you fix a miserable person

Misery I should have seen all along

The misery brings me down into this pit of despair

I can’t take it anymore…I just want to escape

I feel trapped in a cage and no one has the key

I feel myself sinking into sand…I can barely see

Someone please pull me out…I don’t know what to do

I was so happy and now I am so sad

I walk the world alone and yet I have these strings

These strings pulling me down in the quick sand

Please someone reach out and give me your hand

Music # 2

My mind races

As my heart paces

My thoughts a jumbled mess

I try to still my mind…try not to think about the stress

I need my music…I need to sing

This is my solace…my music…my voice

I feel trapped…I feel contained

I want someone to release me

I am so grateful for the sound and the passion that music brings

In this moment I am free

I was wrong 

Still looking for something that I will never find

An extension of myself…my other half

I used to think I would find you

I used to think you existed

I was wrong