Drifting

I sit here and slip away

My body shuts down

I am lost

But I want to be found

I am reaching out for help today

It is like I am looking back

Yet here I am in the present

This haze of a person with no core self

Please someone help me

Please hold my hand

Please give me the strength

Please give me the foundation

To find the ground

To stop falling

To stand

Nyx

Disclaimer

I appreciate all of my friends here. Thank you for all your kind words, all your support. It means more to me than you could ever know. ūüíē

What is Love

Love is something

I do not know

Does it linger

Does it grow

Is it fleeting

Or does it remain

Is it only there

When someone has something to gain

I do not understand this emotion

All I feel is pain

Nyx

I grab your hand 

The clouds are grey today 

The summer has slipped away

We can not stop the passing of time 

All I can do is fight for what is still mine 

As the seconds spill into the air like sand 

I take a deep breath 

And I grab your hand 

Nyx

Holding on

I keep my head held high 

Hardening my heart as the day ticks by

Questioning my emotions 

Letting my mind drift 

Listening as the ocean

Pulls in the waves 

Feeling the peace 

That this sound brings 

Holding on to who I am 

As I feel my feet dig into the sand 

Nyx 

When hope leaves you 

I sit here and reflect upon my life 

I question my emotions 

I question my decisions 

I question where I am 

How did I get here 

Where do I go 

Back to the familiar pain 

Or forward to something 

That may be the same 

I feel the panic as it rises 

Unsure which way to place my foot 

Where do you go 

When you have been here before 

What do you do 

When hope leaves you 

Nyx

In your arms 

I lay here wishing I could be 

In your arms my love 

Forever wrapped around each other 

With nights filled with kisses 

And the warmth of your embrace 

When I look in your eyes

I see your love reflect back upon my face 

My love I am so grateful 

Every time I look in your eyes

Every time I feel your arms around me 

Every time you see the pain 

And softly speak my name 

I will keep on wishing 

Until you come back to me 

In your arms is the only place 

I ever long to be 

Nyx

How I breathe today 

When I reflect

When I stop

When I think about

Where I come from

All I feel is pain

An agony so piercing

An agony so deep

It is all consuming

This agony I feel

What I wouldn’t give

For it not to be real

These images of my past

And all the pain that they bring

Thankfully they do not last

Because I shut them away

This is how I survive

This is how I breathe today

Nyx

All that is left of me 

When he looks at me I see 

Nothing but love looking back at me 

Nothing in this life is certain

As I fight this continuous storm 

What I do know is that he stays by my side 

In this battle he meets my stride 

Whether he is near or far away 

I know he will fight for me 

He is the only one who can see

All that is left of me

Nyx 

I see the light 

Through the ups and downs I see

A bright light before me

A light that beckons me to follow

It is there no matter how far I have fallen

It is there no matter where I go

I know it will still exist

This light is there

Even as I fall

Into the depths of hell

Under the tides of the sea

Under the covers at night

With my eyes closed tight

I can still see the light

Nyx

Float away 

I feel my skin burn within 

I feel my heart shatter 

I cannot help but ask myself 

Why does anything matter 

I try to make it through each day 

I try to hold my head high

I show a smile upon my face 

A smile that isn’t real 

All I want is peace from this life 

I no longer want to feel 

I wish that I was ignorant to everything 

I wish that I was ignorant to everyone 

I wish that I was dumb 

What I wish for the most is 

The ability to stay numb 

To be lost to this world forever 

To float away in the sky 

To say, so long and farewell 

Just to say goodbye 
Nyx