I feel my heart stop beating
I feel myself break in half
Why am I always left here
Alone in this place
How many demons must I conquer
To forget your face
You have destroyed
Only to recreate
It is too late to change
This monster that you made
I try to dream
I try to float away
Instead I scream
As I drown on the inside
Remembering all the lies
I try to live in this moment
But this moment does not last
What I would not give
To be able to erase the past
Nyx
When I reflect
When I stop
When I think about
Where I come from
All I feel is pain
An agony so piercing
An agony so deep
It is all consuming
This agony I feel
What I wouldn’t give
For it not to be real
These images of my past
And all the pain that they bring
Thankfully they do not last
Because I shut them away
This is how I survive
This is how I breathe today
Nyx
I wake up and I wait to see
Where these next few steps will take me
I am walking away from the life I lived before
To walk alone again once more
There are no serpents in the grass
Just a jackal with a latch
I must be careful as I make my move
I must brace myself and keep my head held high
Today is the first day of my official good bye
Nyx
I write these lines to my guardians
For the people who saved my life
I will never forget you
I owe my strength
I owe my hope in humanity
To each and every one of you
To those who have fought for me
For those who stood beside a lost child
For those who showed me empathy
I will never forget you
In my heart you will always have a place
Each and every one of you
I will never forget your face
You have made me want to believe
That angels do exist in this life
For the few who fight for what is right
You are my guardians of the night
Nyx
Sometimes I think that I am beaten
Sometimes I think that I am done
That is when I stop and remember
Everything that you have done
These actions drive me forward
These memories that you made
You were the one I trusted
My life was in your hands
Everything I did to make you proud of me
Everything I did I wanted you to see
I was your daughter
I was the one you were supposed to protect
Instead all you did was lie to me
Confuse me with truths mixed with lies
Until all I wanted was to escape you
Everything I have done
Is a result of what you did
Everything I do
Is a fight to beat you
You are the reason I am who I am
Yet you are the reason I still breathe
You are the reason I stand
Well dear father someday you will see
What you created
What you made
Someday you will see
That you will never beat me
I may be bruised
My bones may break
I may wake up everyday and suffer
From eternal heartache
But when all is lost I see what you have done
This is what drives me forward
This is what makes me carry on
I will fight for those born to suffer
What you have put me through
I will fight through the pain
I will fight because I have no choice
There was no turning back when I broke the silence
There was no turning back when I used my voice
Nyx
Is everyone really against me
Or have I just lost my mind
I’m too lost to see
Who is really genuine
Who is really kind
I am reminded of a time
When life was a consistent slap
People would find me
Shove me into a trap
Lock the door then turn the key
I was never weak you see
I was just waiting for that moment
That perfect moment to strike back
Alone I float by
Lost among the mist
Constantly asking myself why
Feeling the knife twist
The past comes back to haunt me
No matter what I do
You are the one who put me here
This I know is true
You are the one I used to fear
As time passes your face stays the same
The pain I feel reminds me
That my memory of you will always remain
Nyx
Today I dream of fields with flowers
Valleys and streams of beauty
Today I see the colors light up the sky
As the wind picks up and lifts the leaves up high
I wait and watch as the colors fade…as the sun starts to set and the moon begins to rise
It is in between this time…right before the darkness comes…that I see your eyes
Nyx
The light has dawned again
A new day has come
I hate that I am reminded sometimes where I come from
Once again I bring myself out of that dark place
Once again I stand up and look past that face
Leave me alone darkness
I swear you will never win
Stay where you belong… live your own life of sin
Watch the blood drip on the floor
Look for the lock on the door
I fear his anger more than blood
I’d rather see the truth than hear the lies
Don’t say your sorry when you don’t mean it
You see that speck
Get over there and clean it
Perfection on the outside destruction within
Do you know what it is like to live in sin
Until you have seen disgrace…don’t give me your opinions
Don’t pretend to know what I have seen
Don’t tell me what you think I should do
Just shut the hell up…that’s all I want from you
Words From The Borderline 
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