Drifting

I sit here and slip away

My body shuts down

I am lost

But I want to be found

I am reaching out for help today

It is like I am looking back

Yet here I am in the present

This haze of a person with no core self

Please someone help me

Please hold my hand

Please give me the strength

Please give me the foundation

To find the ground

To stop falling

To stand

Nyx

Disclaimer

I appreciate all of my friends here. Thank you for all your kind words, all your support. It means more to me than you could ever know. đź’•

Believe

Everyday I fight

I put one foot in front of the other

Some days I fall

Others I keep walking

I try not to think

About what has happened before

When I think about my past

I open a door

Within it is this person

So lonely and so still

She sits there in silence

Broken with no will

This is something I strive not to be

This image that is broken in front of me

There is more to life than this

There is more to live for

There is more to see

I just have to once again remind myself

All I have to do

Is believe in me

Nyx

Because of you

I have lost faith in the world

Because of you

I believe in nothing

Because of you

You had a mouth full of promises

But a pocket full of secrets

All the lies that you told me

All the things that I did not see

They almost caused my demise

Why couldn’t I see it in your eyes

Why couldn’t I see the lies

Maybe my heart will beat again someday

It does not beat today

Nyx

Disclaimer

This was inspired from the song mouthful of diamonds from the band phantogram.

Great song.

With the rising sun

Sometimes I see flashes 

Memories from before 

I see where I have been 

I see what I have done 

I do not want to see 

These things that haunt me 

All I want is peace 

I want to breathe again 

Hopefully I will find it soon

Before I lose the light from the moon 

I just need to find the way 

Before the moon is gone 

Before the morning comes 

With the rising sun 

Nyx

For the ashes of what once was 

As I walk through the trees 

I feel the breeze 

It is all I have to calm me 

In this moment as I grieve 

For the wishes and dreams I did not receive 

For the ashes of what once was 

For the memories that you gave me 

For the days that I have wept 

For something that was never real

There is no one that can save me 

From the fall that has begun 

There is no one that can reverse 

All the damage you have done 

As the anger subsides 

I find my resolve 

You are just another puzzle 

I was meant to solve 

Nyx

The tears I have not shed 

For the arms I have not felt 

For the tears I have not shed 

For the loneliness your absence brings 

For the years of torment and pain 

I hope you got what you needed from me 

I hope what you stole was worth it to you

You created a monster that day 

The day you took my innocence away 

The day you pierced the knife in 

But never stuck it all the way through 

The moments I will never forget 

The things I never wanted to see 

You buried them in the ashes of my heart 

So easy to brush away and see 

Everything you did to me 

I hope that someday your heart burns 

I hope that someday you feel the pain

In the meantime

I will keep fighting every day 

In the meantime I will survive despite you 

Because that is the only thing 

That I can do 

Nyx 

Lost in the dark 

I am lost in the dark 

Running so far 

It’s never fast enough 

To forget what I have seen 

Never fast enough 

To forget who I thought you were 

I thought that I would be true to you 

No matter what you do 

I was wrong 

Nyx 

 

When my soul is gone 

Sometimes despair drags me down 

Through this haze of memories 

Through years of turmoil 

My body sinks 

Until it is anchored down 

Then the rooms fills with water 

As I lay chained to the ground 

Once again I gulp for air 

Until I can no longer breathe 

This is when the emptiness comes 

This is when my soul is gone 

Nyx

When hope leaves you 

I sit here and reflect upon my life 

I question my emotions 

I question my decisions 

I question where I am 

How did I get here 

Where do I go 

Back to the familiar pain 

Or forward to something 

That may be the same 

I feel the panic as it rises 

Unsure which way to place my foot 

Where do you go 

When you have been here before 

What do you do 

When hope leaves you 

Nyx

This monster that you made

I feel my heart stop beating  

I feel myself break in half 

Why am I always left here 

Alone in this place 

How many demons must I conquer

To forget your face 

You have destroyed 

Only to recreate 

It is too late to change 

This monster that you made 

I try to dream 

I try to float away 

Instead I scream

As I drown on the inside

Remembering all the lies 

I try to live in this moment 

But this moment does not last 

What I would not give 

To be able to erase the past

Nyx