With the rising sun

Sometimes I see flashes 

Memories from before 

I see where I have been 

I see what I have done 

I do not want to see 

These things that haunt me 

All I want is peace 

I want to breathe again 

Hopefully I will find it soon

Before I lose the light from the moon 

I just need to find the way 

Before the moon is gone 

Before the morning comes 

With the rising sun 

Nyx

For the ashes of what once was 

As I walk through the trees 

I feel the breeze 

It is all I have to calm me 

In this moment as I grieve 

For the wishes and dreams I did not receive 

For the ashes of what once was 

For the memories that you gave me 

For the days that I have wept 

For something that was never real

There is no one that can save me 

From the fall that has begun 

There is no one that can reverse 

All the damage you have done 

As the anger subsides 

I find my resolve 

You are just another puzzle 

I was meant to solve 

Nyx

The tears I have not shed 

For the arms I have not felt 

For the tears I have not shed 

For the loneliness your absence brings 

For the years of torment and pain 

I hope you got what you needed from me 

I hope what you stole was worth it to you

You created a monster that day 

The day you took my innocence away 

The day you pierced the knife in 

But never stuck it all the way through 

The moments I will never forget 

The things I never wanted to see 

You buried them in the ashes of my heart 

So easy to brush away and see 

Everything you did to me 

I hope that someday your heart burns 

I hope that someday you feel the pain

In the meantime

I will keep fighting every day 

In the meantime I will survive despite you 

Because that is the only thing 

That I can do 

Nyx 

Lost in the dark 

I am lost in the dark 

Running so far 

It’s never fast enough 

To forget what I have seen 

Never fast enough 

To forget who I thought you were 

I thought that I would be true to you 

No matter what you do 

I was wrong 

Nyx 

 

When my soul is gone 

Sometimes despair drags me down 

Through this haze of memories 

Through years of turmoil 

My body sinks 

Until it is anchored down 

Then the rooms fills with water 

As I lay chained to the ground 

Once again I gulp for air 

Until I can no longer breathe 

This is when the emptiness comes 

This is when my soul is gone 

Nyx

When hope leaves you 

I sit here and reflect upon my life 

I question my emotions 

I question my decisions 

I question where I am 

How did I get here 

Where do I go 

Back to the familiar pain 

Or forward to something 

That may be the same 

I feel the panic as it rises 

Unsure which way to place my foot 

Where do you go 

When you have been here before 

What do you do 

When hope leaves you 

Nyx

This monster that you made

I feel my heart stop beating  

I feel myself break in half 

Why am I always left here 

Alone in this place 

How many demons must I conquer

To forget your face 

You have destroyed 

Only to recreate 

It is too late to change 

This monster that you made 

I try to dream 

I try to float away 

Instead I scream

As I drown on the inside

Remembering all the lies 

I try to live in this moment 

But this moment does not last 

What I would not give 

To be able to erase the past

Nyx 

How I breathe today 

When I reflect

When I stop

When I think about

Where I come from

All I feel is pain

An agony so piercing

An agony so deep

It is all consuming

This agony I feel

What I wouldn’t give

For it not to be real

These images of my past

And all the pain that they bring

Thankfully they do not last

Because I shut them away

This is how I survive

This is how I breathe today

Nyx

Jackal with a latch 

I wake up and I wait to see 

Where these next few steps will take me

I am walking away from the life I lived before 

To walk alone again once more 

There are no serpents in the grass 

Just a jackal with a latch 

I must be careful as I make my move 

I must brace myself and keep my head held high 

Today is the first day of my official good bye 

Nyx

My guardians of the night 

I write these lines to my guardians 

For the people who saved my life 

I will never forget you 

I owe my strength 

I owe my hope in humanity 

To each and every one of you 

To those who have fought for me 

For those who stood beside a lost child 

For those who showed me empathy 

I will never forget you 

In my heart you will always have a place 

Each and every one of you 

I will never forget your face

You have made me want to believe 

That angels do exist in this life 

For the few who fight for what is right 

You are my guardians of the night 
Nyx