Today is another
Day like yesterday
I try to find something
Anything that will make me want to get up
I wish I could just be happy
Instead I just feel lost
I try to think of things in a positive way
I try to think it’s great that I woke up today
But for all the positive quotes I read
All the pushed perceptions that should make this better
I still sit here empty
I still sit here in sorrow
Longing for a life I never had
Nyx
I cannot sleep tonight
I lay here in the dark
Restless in this skin
I try to be present
But I never really am
Nyx
I am alone again
My thoughts have slowed down
I slept and then woke up to sadness
Once again not knowing what to do
At least I have my furry companions
They lay beside me now
Taking away a little piece of the pain
That pulls the rest of me away
My will is broken
The sadness is too strong
It keeps me trapped here in the darkness
Wishing it will end
Wishing I will see the light again
No matter what I do
No matter what I say
No matter where I go
The sadness never goes away
It is like an endless pit
That nothing will ever fill
I can climb it and think I’m getting better
I can climb so high
Then I scream
Then I shout
But I fear I will never make it out
Nyx
What am I doing
How do I change who I am
Somedays all I want to do is sleep
Somedays all I want to do is run away
I cut them all out of my life
Then I want them back
What is wrong with me
I am so lost today
This is when I pull them back
After the damage is done
It is already too late
Nyx
I do not know where I am going
My footsteps pound upon the ground
I have nothing to hold onto
I walk forward
There is no sound
No voice to lead the way
I just feel lost
I feel so lost today
Nyx
I thought I was lost before
That was before I opened the door
There is no foundation
There is no ground
I have been looking
But I have not found
That hand to catch me
As I free float in the air
All I want is someone to love me
All I need is someone to care
Nyx
How did I get here
My world has changed
Right before my eyes
One decision
One step forward
And once again
My life before is gone
In a blink that reality
No longer exists
In this moment my world is foreign
I do not know where I am
I do not know where I am going
All I can do is
Hold onto what is left of me
And hope that this is the anchor
To keep me alive
Nyx
Trying to push through today
But the clouds are closing in
They are there to remind me
That darkness hovers
It still exists within
Just beyond my currents thoughts
The darkness seeps through
I feel the pain as it starts to burn
Then I close my eyes and see
All the things I have seen before
And what is in front of me
The path is still there
It breaks off here again
Asking me if I want to go back
To my land of pretend
Nyx
I question everything
I question everyone
I don’t know where I am
I don’t know what I have done
I am lost right now
My steps have led me astray
I hope I find my way again today
Nyx
I have moments of peace
They do not last long
Then I feel the pain
As I try to sing along
Sometimes words may help me
Sometimes they do not
All I know for sure
Is peace is all I have ever sought
No matter how much I have cried
No matter how much I have fought
I have yet to find it
Maybe someday I will
Maybe someday the earth will stay still
Just maybe I will find the one
To make me feel safe from it all
To protect me from harm
Maybe he will grab my hand
Before I hit the ground
At this moment I have no hope
All I do today is
Find the strength to go on
Find the strength to cope
This loneliness will stay
It must be my eternal debt to pay
I guess I just have to except it
This is just the way it is
I have lost all hope
That someday I will truly be his
Nyx
Words From A Borderline 
You must be logged in to post a comment.