I exist as a shell

My soul in eternal hell

The pain is too much

So I shut it all away

Lost again today

Lost my will to live

I did the best I could

I tried to distract

I tried to talk it through

I tried to push away from myself

Before I slammed the knife through

Yet here I am

Bleeding on the inside

Not bleeding out

I am grateful and yet I am not

For the battles I have fought and won

I fight for strength but today I have gone numb

Succumb to the pain I can no longer endure

All I can do is remember what I fight for




I know longer care about life

I know longer care about death

All I have ever wanted was a father

One who loved and protected me

Kept me safe from harm

As time passes

I hope this wish will fade

This dream of him and I

Instead I sit here in agony

Wondering why I feel so empty

Wondering why I feel so lost

My memories a double-edged sword

They bring me strength

They bring me pain

Most of all they show me

What I can never have

What I will never gain

That is the love a father has for his daughter

Unconditional and true

I cannot count how many times I have wished for that father

I cannot count how many times I have wished for you



What is left of me

No one will find me 

No one will see 

What I leave behind 

When I am gone 

No one will see 

What is left of me 


Darkness follows continued…

Darkness will follow me wherever I go 

In the end everyone goes away 

Darkness tells me so

Darkness is not my enemy 

He is my reality

I try to push him aside 

But he always finds a way

He inflicts the pain 

He sees my weakness 

He sees my shame 

He knows the apathy is a mask 

He knows what lies beneath 

He is set on his task 

He will follow me into eternal rest 

Because he is the best 

Because he is part of me 

He knows who I really am 

A damaged twisted thing 

With nowhere to stand 


Free Fall #2 

Sometimes I wonder if I am being tested 

To see just how much I can take 

Sometimes I just do not understand 

Why I never seem to land 

It is just a constant free fall

Never ending emptiness

My feet never find the ground 

All I feel is everything pushing me down 

What I would not give for some sand 

What I would not give for someone to take my hand 

Take away the burden 

Grab me from the sky 

Place me down and give me a place to lie 

Maybe someday I will find a way 

To grab a hand to hold 

To really trust in someone else completely 

That day is not today 

Lost among the mist 

Alone I float by 

Lost among the mist 

Constantly asking myself why 

Feeling the knife twist 

The past comes back to haunt me

No matter what I do 

You are the one who put me here

This I know is true 

You are the one I used to fear 

As time passes your face stays the same 

The pain I feel reminds me 

That my memory of you will always remain 


The land of lost souls

I have come to the land of lost souls

Those of us abused and hidden away

This is where we stay

Those of us lost to this world

Those of us in pain

This is where we linger

This is where we remain

Abandoned and distraught

Tired and broken

We are the tenants of souls who fought

We are the tenants who keep fighting

We fight for peace and happiness some day

Until then, this is where we stay


Falling through the floor

Here I go again 

Falling through the floor 

Here I go again 

Walking out the door 

Here I go again 

Looking for comfort 

Here I go again 

Looking for an end 

Wounded souls

You see a side of me 

That no one else can 

You understand me completely 

And accept me as I am 

I hope you are the one 

The one I was looking for 

I hope you let me in 

Because I know that you haven’t yet

I know this because we are the same 

We both sway back and forth 

Wounded souls once abandoned 

This is who we are


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