drown

Pandora’s box

/ Nyx / 5 Comments

I sit here numb

To everything around me

I feel the world cave in

As I look down at the water

I feel the apathy

As I make my choice

A choice I have made before

With every closing door

I take one last moment

To let myself feel the pain

It cuts so deep

I will never be the same

I look at the sky

Before I jump

Into the cold water below

This is where I belong

So this is where I go

When all is lost

I will take myself there

To Pandora’s box

Hoping for the darkness

Hoping for some peace

Hoping that this time

I do not come back

I just want the darkness

I just want to see the sky

I just want to see the sea

Then I want to die

Nyx

No more tears today 

/ Nyx / 10 Comments

At this moment I trust no one 

At this moment my hope in others is gone 

I feel no joy in the company that I keep 

My heart has been ripped open

By all of the promises that have been broken

I shed no more tears today 

I have said all there is to say 

I have lost something I once had 

I no longer have the ability to retain an emotion 

I don’t even know what sadness feels like anymore 

All I know is agony 

Then I feel the apathy

Then I feel the rage 

This is all I have left 

Nyx 

Help

/ Nyx / 5 Comments

I feel my body weighed down 

It is so hard to walk 

It is so hard to breathe 

This weight it crushes me 

Weighs me down from the outside in 

At this moment I feel nothing 

I am just pushed down by it all 

Gulping for air 

With no cry for help 

No way to swim 

No way to shout 

This is when I give in 

I long for peace

/ Nyx / 8 Comments

I sit here and I dream 

About a life without the pain 

On the inside I just scream 

In my chest it is always the same 

The pain stabs through my heart 

It tears right through my soul 

Taking everything that I am 

Until I lose control 

My mind shuts down 

My stomach turns 

As I grow more weary

I am sick of the dark 

I am sick of the dread 

I do not have voices in my head 

I do not have demons clawing at me 

What I have is only 

Complete and total agony 

On the inside I scream 

With each heartbeat 

With each breath 

I long for peace 

I long for rest 
Nyx

Dead Inside

/ Nyx / 15 Comments

I wish I knew what was wrong with me

Sometimes I wish that I couldn’t see

I wish I was blind to everything

I wish I was blind to everyone

I just want to escape this life

I just want to be someone else

I don’t want to feel this pain anymore

I don’t want to feel anything at all

What is it that I am fighting for

Is it freedom, or is it something more

Maybe I will find the answer

Or maybe I will never get that far

I guess it doesn’t really matter

I am still locked inside a cage

With agony trapped inside

Mixed with sorrow and with rage

Here I am again, back and forth I go

I would love to feel peace for just a moment

I would love for my heart rate to slow

I give up on hopes and wishes

I give up on dreams today

I just want to lay here tonight

Dead inside as I wait for the sun to rise

 

Nyx

Let me drown 

/ Nyx / 12 Comments

And here I sit

Thinking sometimes I would rather die than live

What the hell do I have left to give

Always a struggle and it’s never enough

My emotions swing me up and down

Right know I’d ask any one to hold me under and let me drown

Breathing in water hurts

But not as bad as living this fucking life

Put me out I ask

Put me out of this circus that is my life

Put me out and give me peace

Nyx

© Nyx0519