My body feels foreign
It disgusts me
Will I ever love myself
Will I ever find a way
To not hate myself again today
Nyx
detach
Restless
I cannot sleep tonight
I lay here in the dark
Restless in this skin
I try to be present
But I never really am
Nyx
Fate
Will I be alone forever
I fear I must accept my fate
The loneliness it grips me hard
The pain it rips me apart
Once again I wish I was gone
Maybe there is a place I belong
Right now as I cry in the dark
I care about nothing because I cannot
I cannot care because my whole life I have sought
The one thing I will never have
It is just not meant to be
I was meant to live this life alone
All I will ever have is me
Nyx
Falling
I sit here and slip away
My body shuts down
I am lost
But I want to be found
I am reaching out for help today
It is like I am looking back
Yet here I am in the present
This haze of a person with no core self
Please someone help me
Please hold my hand
Please give me the strength
Please give me the foundation
To find the ground
To stop falling
To stand
Nyx
Disclaimer
I appreciate all of my friends here. Thank you for all your kind words, all your support. It means more to me than you could ever know. 💕
Until I say goodbye
There is no grey
I will hate you today
I will love you tomorrow
You will be the focus of my feelings
You will see my sorrow
All I see is black and white
Until I say goodbye
I can no longer stay
It hurts too much inside
All I do is wait
To hear the final lie
This is when I shut down
And let myself cry
Nyx
Into the abyss
I feel my body as it starts to shut down
In this moment I have no hope
I find no ground
I fall into the darkness
Into the abyss of my mind
I no longer care
I have no sense of time
I no longer hope
I no longer fear
All I do is sit here
Falling further down
Until I find the water
And let myself drown
To my readers and the people who care about my posts,
When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret anything literally. I only say this, because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or where or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem, they are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day.  Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing. I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems, I appreciate the hell out of you.  Peace and Love, NyxÂ
Until I slip away
You keep yourself
Just beyond my reach
When you are ready
You pull me down below
Drown me in water
Or you throw me sideways
Through the window
With all the shards of glass
And the water I cannot swallow
You torture me until I slip away
Nyx
Lost in the darkÂ
I am lost in the dark
Running so far
It’s never fast enough
To forget what I have seen
Never fast enough
To forget who I thought you were
I thought that I would be true to you
No matter what you do
I was wrong
Nyx
When my soul is goneÂ
Sometimes despair drags me down
Through this haze of memories
Through years of turmoil
My body sinks
Until it is anchored down
Then the room fills with water
As I lay chained to the ground
Once again I gulp for air
Until I can no longer breathe
This is when the emptiness comes
This is when my soul is gone
Nyx
No more tears todayÂ
At this moment I trust no one
At this moment my hope in others is gone
I feel no joy in the company that I keep
My heart has been ripped open
By all of the promises that have been broken
I shed no more tears today
I have said all there is to say
I have lost something I once had
I no longer have the ability to retain an emotion
I don’t even know what sadness feels like anymore
All I know is agony
Then I feel the apathy
Then I feel the rage
This is all I have left
Nyx
Words From A Borderline 
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