Yearning for peace

Once again I feel my chest cave in

I feel my head ache 

I long for an escape 

I long for peace from this life 

I long to escape today 

Go somewhere far away 

Sometimes I dream of being someone else 

Ignorant to the world around me 

I do not want to be aware of the things I see

I just want to feel no pain 

I want to know that I am sane 

But here I sit the same as before 

In pain yearning for peace once more 
Nyx

Away from the light

At this moment all I yearn for is death 

All I yearn for is peace 

Peace from the darkness that haunts me 

Peace from the pain

What I would not give for eternal rest 

To not wake up tomorrow 

To not have to pretend 

To just say good bye to yesterday 

And cease to exist today 

All is do is float past you

In this shadow of forgotten dreams 

Where cob webs have formed 

And cracks run through the floor 

The only thing that is solid is the tomb 

This slab of concrete before me 

Closing me in the dark 

The air is pushed out of me 

As the darkness blows out the light 

At this moment my will is gone 

Today I submit to my friend Darkness

He has come for me 

I let him take my hand as we descend 

Further away from the light 

Darkness is my only friend tonight 
Nyx

Help

I feel my body weighed down 

It is so hard to walk 

It is so hard to breathe 

This weight it crushes me 

Weighs me down from the outside in 

At this moment I feel nothing 

I am just pushed down by it all 

Gulping for air 

With no cry for help 

No way to swim 

No way to shout 

This is when I give in 

Leave me where I stand 

As the sun rises

As the sun sets

Darkness stands beside me

Placing bets

Will she join me

Will she walk away

I look at him and see the agony in the dark

I let go of his hand

Not today darkness

Leave me where I stand

Nyx

When I take my last breath

As the darkness consumes me

I lose all sight and hope

I can no longer see

What is behind, beside, or in front of me

It pulls me down deeper and deeper

Takes away my will to live

There is nothing I would not give

To not be me today

There is nothing I would not give

To have never lived at all

I am still alone

This I know is true

There is nothing that anyone can say

Nothing that anyone can do

That can truly bring me peace

I fear I will only find it

When my body can no longer take the pain

Burning in my chest

I fear I will only find it

When I take my last breath

To my readers and the people who care about my posts,

When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret this literally. I only say this, because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or where or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem, they are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day.  Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing, I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems I appreciate the hell out of you. 

Peace and Love,

Nyx

Rip it out

Unbearable pain

Stabs me

Over and over again

Agony

It is so hard to endure

I just can’t take it anymore

This torture, this pain

Floods through me

Rips me apart

Strips it all away

Punches a whole and rips out my heart

Just finish me off

Why prolong this pain

There is nothing left of me

Nothing left for you to gain

Please just put me out

I welcome the dark

I don’t care where I go

I don’t care what I see

Please just free me from this fucking agony

Fade Away

I am so lost and alone

I want to fade away into nothing

I want to stop existing

Feel no pain

Have no thought

Just a shadow 

Lost forever in the dark

Take all that I have

Take all that I was

I no longer care

Crush out the spark

Crush out my hope

Crush my dreams

Just let me go

Give me peace

I want to feel my breath grow shallow

I want to feel my body drift away

Even my love does not see

That there is nothing left of me

When one can sleep so soundly

While the other suffers so

It makes me want to tell darkness

To just take the spark, blow it out, and let me go

Nyx

 

 

Slipping Away

At this moment I care about nothing

I fall into the darkness willingly

Waiting for the arms of my darkness to embrace me

I feel myself slip away from this world and fall into his

In the end he is always there

Waiting for me to see, that there is no one else

Just him and me

Nyx

Image Source http://melisica.com

As the rocks crumple

As the rocks crumple beneath my feet

As the sun sets

I try to keep the darkness out of my head

But he always finds a way in

Like a serpent he latches on and then burrows within

No matter what I say or do

He never gives up, he always breaks through

Once again I have accepted my darkness as part of who I have become

Maybe I am better off embracing him now

Better off then I was when I was running away from where I come from

Nyx

Image Source http://abduction.ml