Once again I embrace the darkness
As alone as I have always been
He is the only comfort I know
The only one who never leaves
I hear the world outside
A world I do not belong in
I belong with darkness
He never lets me down
I sit here waiting
Knowing he will come someday
He will come and take all this pain away
Nyx
I had to let you go again
Blood of my blood
Torn from me you will always be
By no fault of yours
Just the choice to love one of the destroyers of my life
A destroyer I will never forgive
A monster only I can see
Who cradles you in her arms
Nyx
Sitting in the dark
Crying again
Letting go of another person
Another strip of my heart is gone
The pain is so great
That I have to shut down
If I didn’t I would break completely
There is no coming back from this
There is no way to change it
I’m still here breathing
Enduring it all
I feel comfort in this time
I have found solitude
I have found solace in the darkness
It is where I belong
There is no human for me
There never will be
Nyx
“Hello Darkness my old friend
It’s nice to see you again”
“My sweet girl why are you so restless?
Can’t find that peace you still seek?
Can’t find an ear to listen to the screams?
Well here I am my dear
I will listen as you scream in pain
Then I will take you with me
I will lay my claim
In the end it will be the same
This is how it must be
Some day soon you will see
It has always been me
I am your true friend
I will show you how your life will end
Take my hand my dear”
I take his hand
“I know darkness
You are always right
Once again you are my only friend tonight”
Together we descend
I feel that familiar ache
It grips my chest again
The sadness lingers
Never far from the surface
Sadness brings this feeling
No words can truly describe it
All my life I have fought
This feeling that I must endure
I have learned I must embrace it
There is no cure
Maybe someday this will change
Maybe it will end
I just have to face this feeling
Until then
This is how it must be
I see darkness creeping toward me
I am still here my friend
But please go away
I do not have the strength
To walk with you again today
Nyx
She suffers in ways
That no one can see
The agony gets swept aside
By the powder she spreads across her face
Covering the darkness
Covering the scars
There is no part left to be seen
She covers it all
Underneath the paint
Underneath the skin
The darkness hides the flame
The fire that keeps her alive
The anger makes her move
When all hope is lost
Everyday a piece is taken
Living her life at this high cost
Broken and bleeding
Mended here and there
How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere
Her pleas are unheard
Her tears are unseen
She will exist as she is
A plastered doll covered in paint and powder
Living in shame
I hear her as she screams louder
While she burns from within
Nyx
I live in my own world of darkness
I do not see the light
I feel so alone
I feel so sad
I am still grieving over something
I never had
The sadness turns to pain
So similar than before
Except this time I feel less strength
It is hard to remember what I fight for
It hurts today
As I lay here in the dark
Wondering why I cannot be ok
With being alone again today
Nyx
Another day is passing
The sun begins to set
Here we go again
I lay out the cards
I place my bet
Darkness says to me
It’s a 50/50 chance
This will be your last dance
Nyx
I suffer every single day
There is nothing that will take the pain away
I exist in my own hell
What I feel inside
No one will ever know
The pain is so great
It quickly turns to hate
I will rip you down
Before I raise my voice
I will not need to
I will paint you black
Then I will walk away
Because in the end
There is nothing left
I do not exist in this world
And I never will
Nyx
Today I feel so hollow
The depression it hits me hard
There is no thought
There is no action
That makes me feel this way
It is just a feeling that I live with
Every single day
Sometimes I forget
Until I sit still
Then I realize that this depression
It is real
There is no rhyme or reason
For the way I feel
I sit here alone in silence
Hoping this feeling will end
This is when I try to escape
This is when I pretend
Nyx
Disclaimer: When I write, it is not always literal, it is not always about the present. Please do not interpret anything literally. I only say this because I know that I have readers who think that what I write is always at this moment, and that is not the case. I will not always say when or how these poems come to me. I always appreciate everyones empathy, concern, and happiness when I post my poems. Please keep in mind that these posts are not always what they seem. They are not always literal, and they are definitely not always present day. Please know that I appreciate everyone who enjoys my writing. I just think this needed to be said. To everyone who reads and supports my poems. I appreciate the hell out of you.
Words From The Borderline 
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