There are so many words that I have said
There are so many words that I have written
None of it really matters
When I am talking into the wind
When a face becomes a shadow
Where a person used to be
The words they are so hollow
No one ever really hears me
I am not a person
I am a just a thing
All I can do is hope
That my heart will beat someday
In the meantime, I sit here
I have nothing left to say
Nyx
Sitting in the dark
Crying again
Letting go of another person
Another strip of my heart is gone
The pain is so great
That I have to shut down
If I didn’t I would break completely
There is no coming back from this
There is no way to change it
I’m still here breathing
Enduring it all
I feel comfort in this time
I have found solitude
I have found solace in the darkness
It is where I belong
There is no human for me
There never will be
Nyx
She suffers in ways
That no one can see
The agony gets swept aside
By the powder she spreads across her face
Covering the darkness
Covering the scars
There is no part left to be seen
She covers it all
Underneath the paint
Underneath the skin
The darkness hides the flame
The fire that keeps her alive
The anger makes her move
When all hope is lost
Everyday a piece is taken
Living her life at this high cost
Broken and bleeding
Mended here and there
How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere
Her pleas are unheard
Her tears are unseen
She will exist as she is
A plastered doll covered in paint and powder
Living in shame
I hear her as she screams louder
While she burns from within
Nyx
Will I find the peace I seek
I have hope in my heart tonight
I lay here in the dark
Under the glow of the stars
The minutes tick by
They become hours
There is peace in the silence, I feel it
I will live in this moment
These fleeting moments I must treasure
This is all I know
It has taken so long to feel this peace
I hope when the sun rises
My dreams will be real
Nyx
I walk this world a wanderer
Drifting from here to there
It is hard to believe I am still breathing
But here I am still wandering the land
Some days I wish I was not me
Somedays I wish I was gone
Today I sit here, still breathing
Always fighting through the pain
Always fighting to hold on
I will remain as I have always been
A wanderer running away from sin
Running away from my shame
There is no one here to blame
I left them when I drifted
Along this path in life
I had to let them go
I had to say goodbye
I will never stop moving
There is no home for me
Wandering here then moving forward
This is who I was meant to be
Nyx
Today I wish I wasn’t me
Like I have so many days before
What I suffer from
There is no cure
As I lay here in the dark
I find comfort in my dreams
There is no pain there
I do not remember
Happiness lasting very long
No matter what I have done
No matter where I have gone
Nothing can replace what was taken from me
I cannot regrow my soul
I long for death
But darkness is not finished with me yet
I know now that I cannot be different
I was not made to feel joy or love
All I can do is hope that there is peace
From some shining light above
In the mean time
I am here
Laying in the dark
Feeling empty and broken
Because everyone is gone
Every part of me was stolen
I feel so alone
It is so hard to go on
I wish for death every single day
There is nothing that anyone can do
There is nothing that anyone can say
That will ever make me want to get up
That will make me believe anything today
Nyx
Today I felt it all
I shared my tale
Of heartbreak and pain
But I also told them
What it is I fight for
Why I am still here
I have a purpose in this life
That is why I have to live it
Even though I have fallen
Many times before
Even though I will fall again
This i am sure
I will always get back up
Because they need me here
They need someone who can stand up
And take away their fear
They need someone who understands
They need someone to listen
I will be what I need to be for them
That is why I exist
That is who I am
Nyx
I exist as a shell
My soul in eternal hell
The pain is too much
So I shut it all away
Lost again today
Lost my will to live
I did the best I could
I tried to distract
I tried to talk it through
I tried to push away from myself
Before I slammed the knife through
Yet here I am
Bleeding on the inside
Not bleeding out
I am grateful and yet I am not
For the battles I have fought and won
I fight for strength but today I have gone numb
Succumb to the pain I can no longer endure
All I can do is remember what I fight for
Nyx
In this life so much is uncertain
So much is unseen
There is so much doubt
One thing I do know
Is that love is real
I know it when I look in your eyes
I know it when I hear your voice
I know it when I feel myself
Being pulled toward you with a force I can not stop
A force I can not control
A force so strong that nothing can keep me from you
There is no doubt
There is no fear
There is only love
Love that I know will only continue to grow
Night after night
Year after year
When my heart races I know yours does the same
When I am in pain I hear you scream my name
Because you are my other half
The other side of my soul
Now I know what it feels like to be whole
Now I know what it feels like to have no doubt or fear
Because I have found you my love
Because I have found you my dear
I will hold your hand in mine as we walk together this way
Together we step in sync as we say goodbye to yesterday
Nyx
Through the ups and downs I see
A hand reached out beside me
I hesitate but take this hand
Trusting him to catch me before I land
