numb

Disgust

/ Nyx / 5 Comments

My body feels foreign

It disgusts me

Will I ever love myself

Will I ever find a way

To not hate myself again today

Nyx

Restless

/ Nyx / 3 Comments

I cannot sleep tonight

I lay here in the dark

Restless in this skin

I try to be present

But I never really am

Nyx

No one left

/ Nyx / 5 Comments

My world has changed again

Trying to find my home

Feeling so alone

The air sweeps me off my feet

I feel defeated, I just want to sleep

Where do you go

When you no longer know

Where you belong

No one sees me

As I fade away

There is no one watching

There is no one left

Nyx

Hope lies within my dreams 

/ Nyx / 11 Comments

I am sitting here 

Alone again 

Silent and still 

I wish I could say 

That I am fine 

But I would only be lying 

Let them sleep 

As I bury the pain again

Let the apathy set it 

So I can wake up again tomorrow 

I feel the emptiness fill me 

As I listen to the sounds of the night 

As I embrace the serenity of the darkness 

And find comfort in the stars 

In a few hours a new day will start 

Once again I am reminded 

What being alone means 

I am lost in my own world 

Where hope lies within my dreams 

Nyx 

When my soul is gone 

/ Nyx / 8 Comments

Sometimes despair drags me down

Through this haze of memories

Through years of turmoil

My body sinks

Until it is anchored down

Then the room fills with water

As I lay chained to the ground

Once again I gulp for air

Until I can no longer breathe

This is when the emptiness comes

This is when my soul is gone

Nyx

I have lost all hope 

/ Nyx / 4 Comments

I have moments of peace 

They do not last long 

Then I feel the pain 

As I try to sing along 

Sometimes words may help me

Sometimes they do not 

All I know for sure 

Is peace is all I have ever sought 

No matter how much I have cried 

No matter how much I have fought 

I have yet to find it 

Maybe someday I will 

Maybe someday the earth will stay still 

Just maybe I will find the one 

To make me feel safe from it all

To protect me from harm 

Maybe he will grab my hand 

Before I hit the ground 

At this moment I have no hope 

All I do today is

Find the strength to go on 

Find the strength to cope 

This loneliness will stay 

It must be my eternal debt to pay 

I guess I just have to except it 

This is just the way it is 

I have lost all hope 

That someday I will truly be his 

Nyx

Lost to this world 

/ Nyx / Leave a comment

I feel numb 

Lost to this world

I am fading 

Fading into nothing 

I no longer care 

About anything at all

All I want to do is free fall 

Free fall to nothing 

Close my eyes 

Feel the air 

Pushing against my skin 

I feel the darkness push me further 

As I slowly disappear 

Farther and farther I fall 

Until I am merely mist in the air 

Darkness pushes me down 

He wants me to disappear 

He wants me to hit the bottom 

This is when peace will come 

This is when I will go back 

Back to where I come from

Nyx

To my readers,

This poem is how I have felt in the past, not today. Thank you all for your continued support. Peace and love. Nyx 

No more tears today 

/ Nyx / 10 Comments

At this moment I trust no one 

At this moment my hope in others is gone 

I feel no joy in the company that I keep 

My heart has been ripped open

By all of the promises that have been broken

I shed no more tears today 

I have said all there is to say 

I have lost something I once had 

I no longer have the ability to retain an emotion 

I don’t even know what sadness feels like anymore 

All I know is agony 

Then I feel the apathy

Then I feel the rage 

This is all I have left 

Nyx 

Float away 

/ Nyx / 5 Comments

I feel my skin burn within 

I feel my heart shatter 

I cannot help but ask myself 

Why does anything matter 

I try to make it through each day 

I try to hold my head high

I show a smile upon my face 

A smile that isn’t real 

All I want is peace from this life 

I no longer want to feel 

I wish that I was ignorant to everything 

I wish that I was ignorant to everyone 

I wish that I was dumb 

What I wish for the most is 

The ability to stay numb 

To be lost to this world forever 

To float away in the sky 

To say, so long and farewell 

Just to say goodbye 
Nyx

Remember

/ Nyx / 10 Comments

I exist as a shell

My soul in eternal hell

The pain is too much

So I shut it all away

Lost again today

Lost my will to live

I did the best I could

I tried to distract

I tried to talk it through

I tried to push away from myself

Before I slammed the knife through

Yet here I am

Bleeding on the inside

Not bleeding out

I am grateful and yet I am not

For the battles I have fought and won

I fight for strength but today I have gone numb

Succumb to the pain I can no longer endure

All I can do is remember what I fight for

 

Nyx