Hope

In my mind I see

No clear path before me

I push forward

Every day

Hoping I will find the way

Hoping that the emptiness will subside

Hoping that the pain will stop

I try to live in each moment

With hope in my heart

That I will find the peace I seek

That I will find my home

Nyx

Not slowing down

One door closes

As another opens

I have chosen to walk forward

Picking paths as I go

Not slowing down

Until I have found

What I am looking for

Nyx

Illusions

There is no path

Laid clear before me

I want my heart to race

I want to feel pride

I no longer want to worry

I no longer want to feel

What I want is reason

And everything that is real

I have seen so many illusions

Along the path I have chosen

I will not delude myself

I will not have faith again

I know that all I will ever need

Is me in the end

Nyx

Side effects 

I feel my chest start pounding

But I can not control it 

The anxiety is growing 

There is nothing I can do 

This is the side effect 

Reminding me of what I went through 

I can not change 

What I have done 

I can not change the past 

All I can do is keep moving 

All I can do is keep fighting 

Until I have won 

Nyx

Anxiety 

I try not to worry about tomorrow 

I try not to worry about yesterday 

Somehow this doesn’t matter 

No matter what I tell myself 

No matter what you say to me 

Anxiety, It takes away the words you say

It takes away my rational mind 

Until there is nothing left 

But this electricity is wired around me 

It is my bind

If only I could find a way to escape it 

Before I completely lose my mind 

Everything is worse to me than it seems

But maybe I can rest again in my dreams 

Nyx

My forever 

In my mind I see fields 

Filled with flowers of color 

Filled with grass so green 

I feel the breeze

Sweep across my face 

Peace fills me in this place 

I see myself as beautiful 

As I walk slowly 

Moving with grace 

This is how I want to see myself 

Smiling in this field 

Forever feeling the breeze 

This is my escape 

This is my home 

Nyx

To be free

I feel so heavy 

So weighed down

I feel the darkness 

Rise above my head 

Pulling me further 

Filling me with dread

Maybe I will make it

Maybe I will not

Maybe I will find a way 

To fix myself again 

Maybe I will wake up 

When all I want is sleep 

Maybe I will pull the blade out 

The one that’s in so deep 

Maybe I will find a way  

To be free 

Nyx

Ready for battle

I hear the raindrops 

Tick off my armor 

As I stand in the valley 

Ready for battle 

I hold my sword to the sky 

As I watch you quiver with fear 

I look in your eyes 

Before I say good bye 

Nyx

Holding on

I keep my head held high 

Hardening my heart as the day ticks by

Questioning my emotions 

Letting my mind drift 

Listening as the ocean

Pulls in the waves 

Feeling the peace 

That this sound brings 

Holding on to who I am 

As I feel my feet dig into the sand 

Nyx 

A lion who fears no one

When the walls cave in on me 

When it is too dark to see 

I feel the anger beneath my skin 

It is part of the darkness buried within

The rage pushes me forward 

It gives me strength 

I have reached a path 

A path of no return 

If you are in my gaze 

You will burn 

I have become a predator 

All that I have seen 

All that I have done 

It has made me into what I am 

A lion who fears no one 

Nyx