Side effects 

I feel my chest start pounding

But I can not control it 

The anxiety is growing 

There is nothing I can do 

This is the side effect 

Reminding me of what I went through 

I can not change 

What I have done 

I can not change the past 

All I can do is keep moving 

All I can do is keep fighting 

Until I have won 

Nyx

Anxiety 

I try not to worry about tomorrow 

I try not to worry about yesterday 

Somehow this doesn’t matter 

No matter what I tell myself 

No matter what you say to me 

Anxiety, It takes away the words you say

It takes away my rational mind 

Until there is nothing left 

But this electricity is wired around me 

It is my bind

If only I could find a way to escape it 

Before I completely lose my mind 

Everything is worse to me than it seems

But maybe I can rest again in my dreams 

Nyx

My forever 

In my mind I see fields 

Filled with flowers of color 

Filled with grass so green 

I feel the breeze

Sweep across my face 

Peace fills me in this place 

I see myself as beautiful 

As I walk slowly 

Moving with grace 

This is how I want to see myself 

Smiling in this field 

Forever feeling the breeze 

This is my escape 

This is my home 

Nyx

To be free

I feel so heavy 

So weighed down

I feel the darkness 

Rise above my head 

Pulling me further 

Filling me with dread

Maybe I will make it

Maybe I will not

Maybe I will find a way 

To fix myself again 

Maybe I will wake up 

When all I want is sleep 

Maybe I will pull the blade out 

The one that’s in so deep 

Maybe I will find a way  

To be free 

Nyx

Ready for battle

I hear the raindrops 

Tick off my armor 

As I stand in the valley 

Ready for battle 

I hold my sword to the sky 

As I watch you quiver with fear 

I look in your eyes 

Before I say good bye 

Nyx

Holding on

I keep my head held high 

Hardening my heart as the day ticks by

Questioning my emotions 

Letting my mind drift 

Listening as the ocean

Pulls in the waves 

Feeling the peace 

That this sound brings 

Holding on to who I am 

As I feel my feet dig into the sand 

Nyx 

A lion who fears no one

When the walls cave in on me 

When it is too dark to see 

I feel the anger beneath my skin 

It is part of the darkness buried within

The rage pushes me forward 

It gives me strength 

I have reached a path 

A path of no return 

If you are in my gaze 

You will burn 

I have become a predator 

All that I have seen 

All that I have done 

It has made me into what I am 

A lion who fears no one 

Nyx

My guardians of the night 

I write these lines to my guardians 

For the people who saved my life 

I will never forget you 

I owe my strength 

I owe my hope in humanity 

To each and every one of you 

To those who have fought for me 

For those who stood beside a lost child 

For those who showed me empathy 

I will never forget you 

In my heart you will always have a place 

Each and every one of you 

I will never forget your face

You have made me want to believe 

That angels do exist in this life 

For the few who fight for what is right 

You are my guardians of the night 
Nyx

I’m a dreamer 

With the ups and downs I see

Hills and mountains laid out before me

Here and there I find a path 

Here and there I find a stream 

Every now and then a valley 

Like a story book from a dream

I cherish these moments 

They are rare 

When I suffer I take myself there 

To my valley

By the stream 

Where the grass is high 

Where the water is blue 

In this place I feel 

Like I am home 

In this place I feel 

That there is nothing 

That I cannot overcome 
Nyx

Break the silence 

Sometimes I think that I am beaten 

Sometimes I think that I am done 

That is when I stop and remember 

Everything that you have done 

These actions drive me forward 

These memories that you made 

You were the one I trusted 

My life was in your hands 

Everything I did to make you proud of me 

Everything I did I wanted you to see 

I was your daughter 

I was the one you were supposed to protect 

Instead all you did was lie to me 

Confuse me with truths mixed with lies 

Until all I wanted was to escape you 

Everything I have done 

Is a result of what you did 

Everything I do 

Is a fight to beat you

You are the reason I am who I am 

Yet you are the reason I still breathe 

You are the reason I stand

Well dear father someday you will see

What you created 

What you made 

Someday you will see 

That you will never beat me 

I may be bruised 

My bones may break 

I may wake up everyday and suffer 

From eternal heartache 

But when all is lost I see what you have done 

This is what drives me forward 

This is what makes me carry on 

I will fight for those born to suffer 

What you have put me through 

I will fight through the pain 

I will fight because I have no choice 

There was no turning back when I broke the silence 

There was no turning back when I used my voice 
Nyx