I still can’t fill the pit
The hole within my soul
It grows larger every minute
With nothing left to throw inside
I just feel discontent
Hollow and unhappy in my own skin
Nyx
control
In my skin
I wish that I could escape
From my own mind
But I am stuck here
With my thoughts
With my self hate
Every moment of every day
I hate being in my skin
Nyx
Trapped in hell
I hear the gate slam
As I fall into the flames
All I feel is emptiness and pain
I lie in the darkness
No longer wanting to exist in this world
With the gate slammed shut
I find my resolve
I have accepted my fate
I can not save myself
From my own mind
I just want to feel the flames
For the last time
Nyx
Anxiety
I try not to worry about tomorrow
I try not to worry about yesterday
Somehow this doesn’t matter
No matter what I tell myself
No matter what you say to me
Anxiety, It takes away the words you say
It takes away my rational mind
Until there is nothing left
But this electricity is wired around me
It is my bind
If only I could find a way to escape it
Before I completely lose my mind
Everything is worse to me than it seems
But maybe I can rest again in my dreams
Nyx
Jackal with a latch
I wake up and I wait to see
Where these next few steps will take me
I am walking away from the life I lived before
To walk alone again once more
There are no serpents in the grass
Just a jackal with a latch
I must be careful as I make my move
I must brace myself and keep my head held high
Today is the first day of my official good bye
Nyx
With every step
Even though I am thrown
I somehow find my way
Somehow I have grown
Into something new
Somehow I have grown
Smarter with every step
All that I can say
Is that I will not give up
No matter what comes my way
I will not stop
Because I survive
That is what I do
Nyx
Splinter
Every word you ever said
Is a splinter in my head
Buried so deep, I can’t get it out
Buried so deep I will never forget
All the truths mixed with lies
Or the darkness in your eyes
Sometimes I will dig
But it just sinks deeper
I dig and dig, I scream, I shout
But there is no use, your freaking stuck
In the back of my mind you play your games
You tell me I need to be perfect
But I must play by your rules
You even gave me the tools
Bought me the books
Fed me more lies
Well you may be a splinter in my brain
But that’s all that you are
You have no power over me
You may be my burden to bear
But you have no control over my life
And one day I will pull you out
My reminder of you
I freaking swear
Image source https://www.searching-for–adventure.tumblr.com
Control
It was all taken away
My whole world changes before my eyes
Everything again gets swept away
I need to control what I can
Because there is so little that is mine
So many things are changing
Places I live…people I meet…people I love
What I can control I need to or I will lose my mind
I need to find a foundation
Something to hold me steady before I fall…
So hear I am listening to music as it flows and soothes my soul
Without it there to calm me I would never gain control
Nyx
Words From The Borderline 
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