I ask myself why
I can not be alone
Why does the pain hit
When I sit here in silence
Why does it go away
Only when someone is near
This is what I fear
That this loneliness
Will consume me
That the pain will never leave
Why does it have to hurt so much
Why won’t it go away
Why do I have to fight this pain
Every single day
Nyx
I try not to worry about tomorrow
I try not to worry about yesterday
Somehow this doesn’t matter
No matter what I tell myself
No matter what you say to me
Anxiety, It takes away the words you say
It takes away my rational mind
Until there is nothing left
But this electricity is wired around me
It is my bind
If only I could find a way to escape it
Before I completely lose my mind
Everything is worse to me than it seems
But maybe I can rest again in my dreams
Nyx
I watch as the sun rises
I watch as the sun sets
I can not help but wonder
Is this as good as it gets
These moments here and there
These moments when I find my way
These moments when I write to you
When I show you the way
I wear my heart on the outside
I do not hide it within
This is why I am so damaged
Because we live in a world
Plagued by sin
This is when I feel the pain
When I think of all the loss
When I think of what they have gained
This is when I lose the hope
That my heart will stay full
That my true nature will remain
With everything I lose
With everything they gain
Some days I feel myself slip
Into something else
Into a creature fighting to live
Into a creature with nothing left to give
Sick and tired of the evil of man
Sick of fighting for everything that I am
It is so hard to keep hope in my heart
When everyone takes a strip
Tearing it apart
There are a few pieces left of me
Still out there for the world to see
My weakness is known
My honesty is shown
My layers of beauty hide the scars
They hide the peeled back strips
They hide the darkness
The darkness that is starting to show
I fear I will never stop fighting
I fear I will never stop feeling
These strips they just keep peeling
I fear one day there will be nothing left
I fear that even the shell of who I was
Will wither away and just be gone
I wonder at this moment
If my soul will let me move on
Nyx
Darkness will follow me wherever I go
In the end everyone goes away
Darkness tells me so
Darkness is not my enemy
He is my reality
I try to push him aside
But he always finds a way
He inflicts the pain
He sees my weakness
He sees my shame
He knows the apathy is a mask
He knows what lies beneath
He is set on his task
He will follow me into eternal rest
Because he is the best
Because he is part of me
He knows who I really am
A damaged twisted thing
With nowhere to stand
Nyx
I thought I was strong
But right now I am weak
I should have known all along
What my weakness was
I should have remembered
That happiness isn’t real
I should have remembered
The way that heart break makes me feel
I didn’t remember until the pain hit
I didn’t remember until my chest was burning
I didn’t remember until the world around me was shaking and turning
Well here I am
As I sit
Asking myself what is wrong with me
Blaming myself because I didn’t see
What my weakness was all along
That I am not strong
I am a bleeding heart
Doomed from the start
My bleeding heart is my weakness
Nyx
The glass shatters around me
As everything falls apart
You took away my faith in you
When you broke my heart
I listen to the venom spew from you
As I try to keep myself sane
I try to keep myself together
To make myself aware
That I am to blame
Because I could not be alone
Because I could not do it on my own
That is my weakness
That is my shame
Nyx
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Words From A Borderline 
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