The Pit

I am alone again

My thoughts have slowed down

I slept and then woke up to sadness

Once again not knowing what to do

At least I have my furry companions

They lay beside me now

Taking away a little piece of the pain

That pulls the rest of me away

My will is broken

The sadness is too strong

It keeps me trapped here in the darkness

Wishing it will end

Wishing I will see the light again

No matter what I do

No matter what I say

No matter where I go

The sadness never goes away

It is like an endless pit

That nothing will ever fill

I can climb it and think I’m getting better

I can climb so high

Then I scream

Then I shout

But I fear I will never make it out

Nyx

Addictions

Push him out

Let him in

Push him out

Let him in

Pain

Emptiness

More pain

I wish I could change

but I’ll probably just stay the same

I had a taste of my addiction

Now it’s gone

I just want to be dead

Nyx

Gone

I hear the footsteps soften

As another person walks away

Deep inside I feel the pain

As my body grieves

On the surface

I wear a smile

I show no weakness

I show no pain

Another scar hardens around my heart

Another one slithered through

And now he is gone

Nyx

Thicker Skin

I wake up today again with hope

That I will make it through

Anything that comes at me

As the tide rips through

I have survived so many storms

Each storm has left a scar

These scars left have hardened me

Made my skin thicker than it was before

This is what I say to myself

When I feel I cannot take anymore

That each scar strengthens and hardens

Preparing me for any future chaos

Any future burdens

This is what I say today

That I must believe in myself

That my skin is thicker with each slice of debris

That my skin is thicker with each wave

I must be something more than I was

I must be brave

If I do not progress

Then it was not worth each battle

It was not worth every slice

So once again I say to myself

You can do this today

I will not let the storm sweep me away

I will fight and live through another day

Nyx

 

 

Scars

Beneath the sand I stayed still and calm

Slowly I pulled myself up…I reached for a branch…I gripped it in my hand

The branch was sturdy enough to hold as I made myself stand

I looked up and once again found the strength from the beauty of the stars

Peace fills my heart…I feel love again

The beauty of the night heals the wounds…turns them into scars

Scars that will remind me of the battles I have fought and won

Scars that will heal throughout the night as I wait for the sun