Covered in paint and powder

She suffers in ways

That no one can see

The agony gets swept aside

By the powder she spreads across her face

Covering the darkness

Covering the scars

There is no part left to be seen

She covers it all

Underneath the paint

Underneath the skin

The darkness hides the flame

The fire that keeps her alive

The anger makes her move

When all hope is lost

Everyday a piece is taken

Living her life at this high cost

Broken and bleeding

Mended here and there

How she longs to have been anyone else, anywhere

Her pleas are unheard

Her tears are unseen

She will exist as she is

A plastered doll covered in paint and powder

Living in shame

I hear her as she screams louder

While she burns from within

Nyx

Finding strength

More than I ever have

I have to find the strength

I have to believe

That I can be better

That I can live my life some day

Without the pain I felt before

With every decision I make

With everything that I have left to give

I rise today for you

For those who are as lost as me

I rise again because I must

I have to open the door

So everyone can see

That everyone deserves a chance

To live their lives with happiness

Nyx

My last dance

Another day is passing

The sun begins to set

Here we go again

I lay out the cards

I place my bet

Darkness says to me

It’s a 50/50 chance

This will be your last dance

Nyx

Walk away

I see those eyes

Glare through the night

The blue so beautiful and bright

Beyond those eyes

A hollow soul lies

With no empathy or emotion

No capability of devotion

A predator waiting for prey

He eats you

Then tosses you away

You will pine for him

Because he draws you in

His fake smile shows no remorse

Because he does not care about you

He will rip you apart

Then tear out your heart

You will be left there to bleed

Until you gain the strength

To quench the need

And walk away

Nyx

Cold and still

I am lost

Dead inside

I am no one

I am nothing

I do not see the sun

I do not see the sky

I know longer feel the pain

Nothing is the same

My feet no longer move

I lay here cold and still

I have lost my will

Nyx

Pandora’s box

I sit here numb

To everything around me

I feel the world cave in

As I look down at the water

I feel the apathy

As I make my choice

A choice I have made before

With every closing door

I take one last moment

To let myself feel the pain

It cuts so deep

I will never be the same

I look at the sky

Before I jump

Into the cold water below

This is where I belong

So this is where I go

When all is lost

I will take myself there

To Pandora’s box

Hoping for the darkness

Hoping for some peace

Hoping that this time

I do not come back

I just want the darkness

I just want to see the sky

I just want to see the sea

Then I want to die

Nyx

Escape

Apathy is my friend

It is the only way I will survive

Disconnect or die

This is what I feel

I have known all along

That happiness isn’t real

Those moments of peace..

They never last

I am haunted by the present

I am haunted by the past

There is no escape

From the pain I feel inside

There is no escape from the memories

There is no escape from the lies

Everyone I have let in

Has thrown a brick at me

I feel myself as I sink

Below the beautiful sea

This is the only way

I will ever be free

Nyx

The bridge

I see the bridge

So beautiful

So bright

It lights up the sky

On the darkest night

At my darkest hour

This is where I fall

Into Pandora’s box

There is no night

There is no day

This is where I rest

This is where I stay

Disclaimer

This is not a reflection of me, but a reflection of many who have suffered enough to take their own lives. Peace and love, Nyx

Until I slip away

You keep yourself

Just beyond my reach

When you are ready

You pull me down below

Drown me in water

Or you throw me sideways

Through the window

With all the shards of glass

And the water I cannot swallow

You torture me until I slip away

Nyx