Yearning for peace

Once again I feel my chest cave in

I feel my head ache 

I long for an escape 

I long for peace from this life 

I long to escape today 

Go somewhere far away 

Sometimes I dream of being someone else 

Ignorant to the world around me 

I do not want to be aware of the things I see

I just want to feel no pain 

I want to know that I am sane 

But here I sit the same as before 

In pain yearning for peace once more 
Nyx

As my heart peels away

I watch as the sun rises 

I watch as the sun sets 

I can not help but wonder 

Is this as good as it gets 

These moments here and there 

These moments when I find my way 

These moments when I write to you 

When I show you the way 

I wear my heart on the outside 

I do not hide it within 

This is why I am so damaged 

Because we live in a world 

Plagued by sin 

This is when I feel the pain 

When I think of all the loss 

When I think of what they have gained 

This is when I lose the hope 

That my heart will stay full 

That my true nature will remain 

With everything I lose 

With everything they gain 

Some days I feel myself slip 

Into something else 

Into a creature fighting to live 

Into a creature with nothing left to give 

Sick and tired of the evil of man 

Sick of fighting for everything that I am 

It is so hard to keep hope in my heart 

When everyone takes a strip 

Tearing it apart 

There are a few pieces left of me 

Still out there for the world to see 

My weakness is known 

My honesty is shown 

My layers of beauty hide the scars 

They hide the peeled back strips 

They hide the darkness 

The darkness that is starting to show

I fear I will never stop fighting 

I fear I will never stop feeling 

These strips they just keep peeling

I fear one day there will be nothing left 

I fear that even the shell of who I was 

Will wither away and just be gone 

I wonder at this moment 

If my soul will let me move on 

Nyx

I’m a dreamer 

With the ups and downs I see

Hills and mountains laid out before me

Here and there I find a path 

Here and there I find a stream 

Every now and then a valley 

Like a story book from a dream

I cherish these moments 

They are rare 

When I suffer I take myself there 

To my valley

By the stream 

Where the grass is high 

Where the water is blue 

In this place I feel 

Like I am home 

In this place I feel 

That there is nothing 

That I cannot overcome 
Nyx

I wish for peace tonight 

The loneliness grips my beating heart 

It crushes my chest 

It rips me apart 

When I sit still it all comes back 

All the pain 

All the heartache 

Everything that has been done

Everything that I wish I did 

Sometimes I wish I could delete my mind 

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time 

But most of the time I just want to escape it 

Sit still and alone and not have to take it

Without a distraction all I feel is agony 

Without a distraction all I see is darkness 

At this moment I just wish I was not me 

At this moment I would give anything for the light 

Just a break from the pain

I wish for peace tonight 

Nyx 

Strike back 

Is everyone really against me 

Or have I just lost my mind 

I’m too lost to see 

Who is really genuine 

Who is really kind

I am reminded of a time 

When life was a consistent slap 

People would find me 

Shove me into a trap 

Lock the door then turn the key

 I was never weak you see

I was just waiting for that moment 

That perfect moment to strike back 

Deflect

I used to dream of death

Those dreams where the best I ever had

An escape from the pain

An escape from this life

An escape from the gap in my mind

A gap that is thick and sharp like a knife

Then there was apathy

The numbness from the inside out

I drifted from here to there

There were no feelings and no doubt

Now all I do is deflect

Deflect the obstacles that continue to come

When I think I am finished with one

I realize I will never be done

I guess this is just the way life is meant to be

A constant battle

A constant fight to be free

Nyx

Hello Darkness

Hello Darkness there you are

Just in time to pull me down

I see you creeping in the shadows

Waiting for your chance

Come on darkness grab me now

Take me to another place

Take me to another time

Take me with you down below

Take me slowly so I don’t know

Listen now as my heart beats low

Softer and softer until there is no sound

I feel my body as it grows cold

I feel myself fall and hit the ground

Oh sweet darkness you are my friend

I’m so glad it was you who took me

In the end

Nyx

Image source: http://lagnaetti.tumblr.com

I float away in dreams

I float away in dreams 

This is where I will stay

Trying to escape the pain 

This is where I will remain 

Sometimes it is easy to escape 

Sometimes it is not 

Finding peace 

Finding true happiness

Is all I have ever wanted

All I have ever sought 

With each breath I take 

I want to float away 

To a place where

Streams flow through the valley 

Flowers bloom so bright 

I follow the stream with no end in sight 

This is where I long to be 

Walking among the stream 

With peace in my heart 

Floating away in this beautiful place 

The one thing I can depend on 

The one thing that is mine 

Nyx

Agony

As soon as I stop moving

As soon as my mind stills…  I am flooded with agony

It is not a memory…it is not a face

It is just all consuming heartache

All I see is darkness…bleak and black

Why can I never slow down…without the pain slamming me back

This is why I move so quickly…this is why I talk so fast

If only my moments of peace would last…if only I could escape the darkness…

if only I could escape my past

Nyx

image source https://www.melisicia.com