The changing season

As the leaves fall around me

I see the beauty in the changing season

Sometimes there is no need to reason

Everything that people do

I try to remember that when I feel pain

I have to look inside myself again

Find the inner beauty of who I am

As I find the ground

I need to walk on again

Nyx

Side effects 

I feel my chest start pounding

But I can not control it 

The anxiety is growing 

There is nothing I can do 

This is the side effect 

Reminding me of what I went through 

I can not change 

What I have done 

I can not change the past 

All I can do is keep moving 

All I can do is keep fighting 

Until I have won 

Nyx

Lost in the dark 

I am lost in the dark 

Running so far 

It’s never fast enough 

To forget what I have seen 

Never fast enough 

To forget who I thought you were 

I thought that I would be true to you 

No matter what you do 

I was wrong 

Nyx 

 

Finding myself again

When all is lost I look inward 

Finding myself again 

Nothing has gone as planned 

Yet I still stand 

With my head high 

As the world looks smaller below 

I look to the sky 

Nyx

Holding on

I keep my head held high 

Hardening my heart as the day ticks by

Questioning my emotions 

Letting my mind drift 

Listening as the ocean

Pulls in the waves 

Feeling the peace 

That this sound brings 

Holding on to who I am 

As I feel my feet dig into the sand 

Nyx 

Insight 

At this moment 

I do not want to be me 

Insight is a gift and a curse 

It shows me things 

Things I wish I could not see 

Nyx 

Beyond my ability

I have always strived to understand 

The actions of those I have known 

The selfishness they have shown 

When they left me there

I have fought to overcome 

What they have done 

The selfishness I see 

Is beyond my ability 

What I do know is that it has hardened me 

It has made me who I am 

For that I am grateful 

Even though I may never understand 

Nyx

Monotonous life

Each day I rise with hope 

Some days it lasts 

Some days it does not 

Today I hope I find the peace that I seek

I hope that in a few hours 

I do not feel weak 

I hope that deep inside I keep 

Some form of strength left 

Because I feel beaten down 

I feel so weary 

Right now everything I see is dark 

Everything is dreary 

Each day seems the same as the last 

Constantly fighting the past

I live as this broken person 

With a smile plastered on my face

On the inside all I feel is disgrace

Everyday to me is exactly the same 

This monotonous life of pain 

I will try to escape from the pain today 

Let’s see if I succeed 
Nyx