Trapped in hell

I hear the gate slam

As I fall into the flames

All I feel is emptiness and pain

I lie in the darkness

No longer wanting to exist in this world

With the gate slammed shut

I find my resolve

I have accepted my fate

I can not save myself

From my own mind

I just want to feel the flames

For the last time

Nyx

Comfortably numb

I am shrouded in darkness

Away from the light of the sun

I love it when thunder roars

And the rain starts to pour

I love the sound as it hits the ground

I love the light as it sparks with fury

As bolts shoot from the sky

And I love the color grey

Before everything turns black

I find comfort in the storm

The chaos of the clouds

Reminds me of my life

And the paradox of comfort from pain

Because it is all I know

Fear and anger

Sadness and agony

Tears that I can not stop from falling

Until a spark of awareness

Brings me back to reality

And takes the tears away

This awareness shuts me down

Until I am comfortably numb

Enjoying the lack of pain

Until the new cycle has begun

Nyx

There is a way out of hell

Darkness has reminded me of the agony

That sadness brings

I will feel euphoria

Until it all comes crashing down

This is when I feel him near me

This is when he brings the pain

He is my reminder of who I used to be

He is my reminder of the torment I have felt

He is my reminder that everyone walked away

But today I fight him because I must

I have to remind myself

That I have always gotten back up

Every time I fell

I have to remind myself

That there is a way out of hell

Nyx

New challenges

Today I wake up to new challenges

I am reminded of the uncertainty

That each day brings

And with each day a new dawn rises

Giving me the chance to start again

Giving me the energy to push myself forward

Because I either rise or fall

That decision is mine to make

With every step I do or do not take

Today I am taking a step

Because that is what I choose to do

Nyx

Addictions

Push him out

Let him in

Push him out

Let him in

Pain

Emptiness

More pain

I wish I could change

but I’ll probably just stay the same

I had a taste of my addiction

Now it’s gone

I just want to be dead

Nyx