The tears I have not shed 

For the arms I have not felt 

For the tears I have not shed 

For the loneliness your absence brings 

For the years of torment and pain 

I hope you got what you needed from me 

I hope what you stole was worth it to you

You created a monster that day 

The day you took my innocence away 

The day you pierced the knife in 

But never stuck it all the way through 

The moments I will never forget 

The things I never wanted to see 

You buried them in the ashes of my heart 

So easy to brush away and see 

Everything you did to me 

I hope that someday your heart burns 

I hope that someday you feel the pain

In the meantime

I will keep fighting every day 

In the meantime I will survive despite you 

Because that is the only thing 

That I can do 

Nyx 

No goodbyes 

I feel another piece break off 

It crumbles before it hits the ground 

How I wish there was nothing left 

How I long to cease to exist 

The pain it cuts so deep 

I will never find the peace I seek 

I just want to fade away 

No more sorrow 

No more pain 

Please just take it all

Strike me down and end it

I just want it all to stop 

No goodbyes 

No final thought 

I just want it to stop 

Nyx

I will never stop fighting 

I feel the emptiness as it starts to grow 

I feel it slip through the cracks 

It is starting to show 

My face no longer wants to smile 

The anger inside me 

It just continues to build 

The rage it boils 

The pain burns 

As my fists clench 

I know I will fight you all 

Until my last breath I swear it 

Step in front of me I dare you 

I will not spare you 

You will lose 

Nyx

My forever 

In my mind I see fields 

Filled with flowers of color 

Filled with grass so green 

I feel the breeze

Sweep across my face 

Peace fills me in this place 

I see myself as beautiful 

As I walk slowly 

Moving with grace 

This is how I want to see myself 

Smiling in this field 

Forever feeling the breeze 

This is my escape 

This is my home 

Nyx

Lost in the dark 

I am lost in the dark 

Running so far 

It’s never fast enough 

To forget what I have seen 

Never fast enough 

To forget who I thought you were 

I thought that I would be true to you 

No matter what you do 

I was wrong 

Nyx 

 

To be free

I feel so heavy 

So weighed down

I feel the darkness 

Rise above my head 

Pulling me further 

Filling me with dread

Maybe I will make it

Maybe I will not

Maybe I will find a way 

To fix myself again 

Maybe I will wake up 

When all I want is sleep 

Maybe I will pull the blade out 

The one that’s in so deep 

Maybe I will find a way  

To be free 

Nyx

I have to prevail

The anxiety smoothers me

I can no longer breathe

Survival is what I need

In order to succeed

The struggle to keep my head above water

It gets harder everyday

If only I could find someway

To assure I will make it

If only I could find someway

To feel safe again

As my breath leaves me

I start to feel the pain

The constant worry

It is always the same

Will I make it

Or will I fail

I know that somehow

I have to do this

I have to prevail

Nyx

Time to feel

We are only a moment

But while we are here 

I will love you my dear 

With all that I am 

With all that I will ever be 

With the best and the worst

Parts of what is left of me 

I will allow myself this time to feel 

To let myself believe that true love is real 

Nyx