Month: September 2017
The tears I have not shed
For the arms I have not felt
For the tears I have not shed
For the loneliness your absence brings
For the years of torment and pain
I hope you got what you needed from me
I hope what you stole was worth it to you
You created a monster that day
The day you took my innocence away
The day you pierced the knife in
But never stuck it all the way through
The moments I will never forget
The things I never wanted to see
You buried them in the ashes of my heart
So easy to brush away and see
Everything you did to me
I hope that someday your heart burns
I hope that someday you feel the pain
In the meantime
I will keep fighting every day
In the meantime I will survive despite you
Because that is the only thing
That I can do
Nyx
No goodbyes
I feel another piece break off
It crumbles before it hits the ground
How I wish there was nothing left
How I long to cease to exist
The pain it cuts so deep
I will never find the peace I seek
I just want to fade away
No more sorrow
No more pain
Please just take it all
Strike me down and end it
I just want it all to stop
No goodbyes
No final thought
I just want it to stop
Nyx
I will never stop fighting
I feel the emptiness as it starts to grow
I feel it slip through the cracks
It is starting to show
My face no longer wants to smile
The anger inside me
It just continues to build
The rage it boils
The pain burns
As my fists clench
I know I will fight you all
Until my last breath I swear it
Step in front of me I dare you
I will not spare you
You will lose
Nyx
My forever
In my mind I see fields
Filled with flowers of color
Filled with grass so green
I feel the breeze
Sweep across my face
Peace fills me in this place
I see myself as beautiful
As I walk slowly
Moving with grace
This is how I want to see myself
Smiling in this field
Forever feeling the breeze
This is my escape
This is my home
Nyx
Lost in the dark
I am lost in the dark
Running so far
It’s never fast enough
To forget what I have seen
Never fast enough
To forget who I thought you were
I thought that I would be true to you
No matter what you do
I was wrong
Nyx
To be free
I feel so heavy
So weighed down
I feel the darkness
Rise above my head
Pulling me further
Filling me with dread
Maybe I will make it
Maybe I will not
Maybe I will find a way
To fix myself again
Maybe I will wake up
When all I want is sleep
Maybe I will pull the blade out
The one that’s in so deep
Maybe I will find a way
To be free
Nyx
I have to prevail
The anxiety smoothers me
I can no longer breathe
Survival is what I need
In order to succeed
The struggle to keep my head above water
It gets harder everyday
If only I could find someway
To assure I will make it
If only I could find someway
To feel safe again
As my breath leaves me
I start to feel the pain
The constant worry
It is always the same
Will I make it
Or will I fail
I know that somehow
I have to do this
I have to prevail
Nyx
Time to feel
We are only a moment
But while we are here
I will love you my dear
With all that I am
With all that I will ever be
With the best and the worst
Parts of what is left of me
I will allow myself this time to feel
To let myself believe that true love is real
Nyx
Gone
When I close my eyes I see
Your hand in front of me
When I open them it’s gone
Nyx
