Bleeding Heart

I thought I was strong

But right now I am weak

I should have known all along

What my weakness was

I should have remembered

That happiness isn’t real

I should have remembered

The way that heart break makes me feel

I didn’t remember until the pain hit

I didn’t remember until my chest was burning

I didn’t remember until the world around me was shaking and turning

Well here I am

As I sit

Asking myself what is wrong with me

Blaming myself because I didn’t see

What my weakness was all along

That I am not strong

I am a bleeding heart

Doomed from the start

My bleeding heart is my weakness

Nyx

When you took my heart

Maybe we were created 

Maybe we do have souls 

Maybe something split us in half 

All I know for sure 

Is that my love for you is real 

That the pull only continues to grow 

That when I feel my heart slow 

I know that yours does the same 

This was never going to be easy 

This we knew from the start 

But I knew it was more than worth it 

When you took my heart 

Broken 

Watch me as I stumble

Watch me as I fall

Watch the world crash down around me

Watch me while I say fuck you all

You will never beat me

Because you cannot break

What has already been broken

Nyx

Lies

Trust I have come to learn 

I will never find

The only one I can trust is me 

I will never again be blind 

I will never again be vulnerable 

I have had enough of the dishonesty 

I have had enough of everyone 

There is nothing more that I hate 

There is nothing that makes me sicker 

There is nothing more that I despise 

Than people telling me fucking lies 

Where do I begin 

Beneath the surface all I see 

Are fissures filled with darkness 

Cracks in my soul 

Spread throughout and hardened 

With each hardship, with each toll

They spread further and wider 

Right beneath the surface 

Right beneath the skin 

Where does the darkness end 

When do I begin 

Dead Inside

I wish I knew what was wrong with me

Sometimes I wish that I couldn’t see

I wish I was blind to everything

I wish I was blind to everyone

I just want to escape this life

I just want to be someone else

I don’t want to feel this pain anymore

I don’t want to feel anything at all

What is it that I am fighting for

Is it freedom, or is it something more

Maybe I will find the answer

Or maybe I will never get that far

I guess it doesn’t really matter

I am still locked inside a cage

With agony trapped inside

Mixed with sorrow and with rage

Here I am again, back and forth I go

I would love to feel peace for just a moment

I would love for my heart rate to slow

I give up on hopes and wishes

I give up on dreams today

I just want to lay here tonight

Dead inside as I wait for the sun to rise

 

Nyx

Through the door

I sit here feeling my chest cave in
Wondering why everything is a fight
When I think it will begin
When I know that something is right
The door is slammed in my face
Why can’t I just erase
The things that keep me from you
Why can’t I just escape from this cage
What else do I need to go through
To get through the door
What else do I need to go through
To get to you

Nyx

Image Source https://www.flickr.com/photos/briceportolano/6970476552/

 

Layers underneath 

Nothing is ever as it seems

There are always layers underneath 

I can not accept this blind belief 

Deep down I know it will be a fight 

A fight I will win 

Nyx

Picasso was cool 

Two shattered stars 

Something is happening 

I have no control 

I am no longer me

I am so much more

I am part of something so much better 

Part of something that I feel so strongly 

Something I will never walk away from 

Something I will never not see 

It is so clear this feeling 

It is so clear to me

This pull, this need 

I need you like I need air 

And no matter what happens 

I swear I will always be there 

Nothing could ever take me away from you 

We were never meant to be separate 

We were always meant to be one 

We were two shattered stars 

Now we are the sun